To think that a 35 year old man setting his dating range to age 21+ is revolting?

I don't think it's disgusting, no. If he was fifty I'd say marking it as that would be ridiculously optimistic. But men just would put 16 plus if they could get away with it. They want a woman, and young ones are pretty. It's not that deep..
It doesn't mean he's going to force himself on a load of 21 year olds who aren't interested.

How many of the 35 year old women on here would consider sleeping with a 21 year old man?

I wasn't into 21 year old men when I was 21. And the situation hasn't changed since then. Which I think is the point that has been made already many times on this thread - some women in their 20s do NOT want to date men of their own age - they are, for varying reasons, attracted to men who are a bit older.

Should adult women be mocked, shamed, derided, infantilised, have their preferences trampled, and made to feel that the men they are attracted to must be perverts or near paedophiles for entertaining the idea of sleeping with or having a relationship with them?

It's not vulnerability. It's maybe naivety, but not all young adults are vulnerable.

I think the vulnerability of young adults can muddy consent.

I think it slaps of insecurity when people are 'disgusted' by legal age gaps between consenting adults.

You won't shame men into not thinking women in their 20s are more attractive. Their I said it.

Same, and the sex was a million miles better with the experienced 35 year old who has a rough idea of how women generally work physically than the 22 year olds who were just (literally) stabbing away in the dark

I was a consenting adult, having fun, enjoyable, stress free sex - absolutely disgusting.

I would probably spend less of my time being revolted at what other people do and focus on my own life. What other people choose to do within the law is their business.

Its nothing to do with you or your husband what others go and do.
Get on with your own life and marriage and let others get on with what they are doing.
Sounds like they are both having a bit of fun.

"I find it gross that a man of 35 expects to be able to use young girls for a shag"

But surely the girl would also be using the man of 35 for a shag as well?

To be honest, I find the idea of a relationship between a 35 and a 21 year old deeply grim. There's a power imbalance there. But I don't think that same power balance exists however when all either party are looking for is a one night stand or a brief fling. Each is essentially using the other to get their rocks off.

Age is a number. Society used to make a thing about age gaps. They made more fuss about older women and younger men, because of course we live in a sexist society.

I think it’s probably going to more successful than you think. 21 y/o men are generally still studying, not working much, don’t have their own place, their own car, time rich and money poor. If a 21 y/o woman enjoys going out to restaurants and not getting the bus to dates and things like this, then a full time employed 36 y/o man might be an appealing prospect.

That said, I can’t see why any sane 21 y/o woman looks to get involved with a man who has kids, unless he’s going to act like he doesn’t have kids, which is both pathetic for him and sad for the kids.

It’s legal what is the issue?

Its funny you thought he was so old, when you think about it - somone 13 years older than you is not thst much older than you

I used to think it was disgusting when I was 22 and in a nightclub. I remember being chatted up by a 35 year old man and I was flabbergasted as to who even let him in the club 👀. I thought he belonged at home with his wife and children reading them bed time stories 🤭😅 I was also shocked at the sheer confidence the guy had thinking he was one of the kids….I gave him a prompt boot 🥾 But then, 4 years later, I paired up with a guy 10 years my senior because I was fed up at how immature guys my age were. We are still together 18 years later 😆

Is it possible that his attitude is less’21 year olds are only good for a shag’ and more ‘21 year olds are more likely to be interested in just a fling themselves’? Obviously not sure and possibly giving him the benefit of the doubt but it may have been intended as an alignment of wants rather than anything more sinister.

I’d be revolted that your DP made the suggestion and rethinking my relationship with them tbh.

Exactly, 35 is hardly old.

There is not much difference between people in their twenties and thirties

Yeah why is your dh getting involved

I would have and did happily have sex with 35 year olds when I was 21. That’s all I can go on. 🤷🏼‍♀️

But it was your DH that suggested shagging 21 year olds was the way forward. I'd wonder what he's been thinking about.

If she’s consenting to the sex, what’s the problem?

I slept with a 21yo when I was 41

Im 41 and i am now dating a 29 year old man.

Why should we only date people similiar age to us? It makes no sense.

Adults are adults

Hope springs eternal! 🤣

Im 41 and i went out on a few dates with a 23 year old earlier this year. It was really nice

Anyone over 21 is an adult.

When i went out on the dates with ths 23 year old, we had a lot in common, we were chatting away. It didnt feel like there was much difference between us

Revolting is a bit strong. A bit icky sure. As others have said delusional and optimistic are better words. He's only setting a filter to 21+, he's not seeking out only 21yos, that would be revolting.