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Original poster

BBC news using the phrase "broken home"

315 replies

IsitaHatOrACat · 14/05/2025 04:35

Really? Really? Whilst I'm not overly interested to know about this man's drug fuelled years, the description of him coming from a "broken home" has infuriated me.
As a single parent to a 15 year old, I can confirm that there us nothing whatsoever "broken" about our home or small family.
I really thought we had moved on from this type of shaming of single parent families
Seriously BBC, do better.

BBC News - Heavy hangs the crown - sadness at Wiggins' troubles
www.bbc.com/sport/cycling/articles/c23mv42m2lmo

OP posts:
MatildaMovesMountains · 14/05/2025 08:04

OliveSummer · 14/05/2025 08:00

Not a majority, no. 42% in the UK according to Google and the rate has been falling in recent years.

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Probably because of the cost of living crisis - people feeling they have no choice but to stay in their shit marriages 😒

Agix · 14/05/2025 08:03

Single parents don't get to decide whether their kids experience a broken home or not. That's for your kids to conclude, perhaps they'll only know and feel the effects of it when they're older. You don't get to decide for them what their childhood experience is or was.

I come from divorced parents. Neither of them would have said I experienced a broken home, because they were satisfied with the lives they went on to live and homes THEY had, but I bloody did have a broken home. They didn't experience what I experienced.

You don't get to decide whether your child experiences a broken home. I'm not saying your child has one, I'm just saying you have zero right to dictate their experience with this. Just because you feel fulfilled doesn't mean they do and doesn't mean it's not effecting them. Let your child tell you when they're older what their conclusion is.

Englishsummerblues · 14/05/2025 08:03

I completely agree OP. I was brought up by a single parent, who had no choice as my dad was actually married at the time and had a young child, my mum didn’t know this.
I had a lovely childhood and wouldn’t have swapped it for the world. I remember feeling sorry for kids with either grumpy or critical men at home. My home life was like the bit at the end of Matilda where her and Miss Honey are free! That didn’t stop my mum reading all the Thatcher fed rhetoric about how statistically I was likely to end up in prison, not drugs. Statistics aren’t helpful if you don’t have a choice, it could be self fulfilling, and like others said mostly linked to poverty.
I am also a single parent and have a great relationship with my ex. Nothing broken about our home.
Let’s sort out the poverty trap which most single mums fall into following a split. Let’s make men pay for their children. Also don’t move your new boyfriend in. Statistically new partners pose more of a danger to children than coming from a single parent family.
More people are single parents now. How helpful is it to constantly bash them for not ‘trying harder’ in their relationship or wanting to be happy?

MatildaMovesMountains · 14/05/2025 08:01

frozendaisy · 14/05/2025 06:56

It’s a BBC article, whom as a news organisation are called out most of the time for being sensitive woke leftie liberals, so you would assume more aware of using phrases that can offend, it’s not some brash opinion news channel who don’t care, actively enjoy, causing offence to certain demographics (which single mothers - females only - will be one of those).

It might just be an accurate description in this instance.

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Curious to know why you used the word "whom" in your response? What was your reasoning for choosing the objective rather than subjective form in a sentence where it stands in for the subject of the sentence?

OliveSummer · 14/05/2025 08:00

Bunny44 · 14/05/2025 06:28

But don't a majority of marriages end in divorce so aren't a huge proportion of households at one point single parent families?

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Not a majority, no. 42% in the UK according to Google and the rate has been falling in recent years.

Charlottejbt · 14/05/2025 07:59

AngelinaFibres · 14/05/2025 07:28

This. It was less usual to come from a single parent household years ago . My parents were appalled( in the mid nineties) that I was divorcing my husband and was a single parent . It was completely socially inappropriate amongst their circle of friends. I was told ( by a man whilst stuck with a double buggy in a Tesco queue) that I was disgusting because I'd had children out of wedlock. I was no longer wearing my wedding ring and he decided I was therefore clearly a tart.It was far , far less socially acceptable when this man was a child. Perfectly reasonable term.

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It might be reasonable in a historical context, like continuing to print editions of 19th century novels that contain the N word. That doesn't mean that such offensive terms should be freely bandied around today.

chocolate08 · 14/05/2025 07:58

I completely agree, op. Completely unwarranted. If this was a phrase that Wiggins used himself it would or should be in quotes. It's lazy journalism and stigmatises single parents. Wurthy of a complaint to the BbC if I could be bothered and they'd likely change it.

CremeBruhlee · 14/05/2025 07:57

I agree that the phrase ‘broken home’ is very outdated and the description here should be ‘dysfunctional’ and ‘dad left’ or ‘parents divorced’ or whatever. But I would say that the backlash around negativity around parents splitting up is misguided. In most cases of divorce without being a ‘dysfunctional family’ it has a massive effect on the children (this is proven). I don’t know how as a society we balance the taboo around ‘single parent families’ or ‘divorced parents’ and try to make families aware how much of a negative effect divorce has on the children. I had an idyllic home life before my parents divorce and both of them recognise how much it shattered me. Both also recognise that it was a step too easily taken for them. We are all still very close and there were no larger factors at play.

Friends are often surprised when I say what a profound effect it has had and prior to knowing would almost use our family as an example of where people can ‘make it work’.

It often comes out as I’m seen as very attached to my kids but we do prioritise date nights and when people comment I do say that it’s because I think it’s the best thing for them for us to work on our marriage as my parents marriage breakdown had such an effect. Friends have been shocked as they haven’t realised the effect it has.

When LTB is thrown around lightly on here with little mention of the psychological effect on the kids (obviously mostly used for good reason so I don’t mean then) I shudder as it was devastating for the children in my family but you wouldn’t have known this at the time.

HeadNorth · 14/05/2025 07:55

When my parents divorced it felt my home was broken - do not underestimate how shit divorce is for children. It is disingenuous to think because it was a good outcome for the parents and the children 'turned out fine' it did not also break up their home at the time. Because it did. And the effects are life long. I'm not saying people are wrong to split up and divorce. I am stating the effect on their children is vast, life long and, like an ice berg, much is hidden.

I am a happy successful adult with a good job, home and family and good relationship with my surviving parent. I was also damaged by my parent's divorce and I consider I come from a broken home.

FortyElephants · 14/05/2025 07:55

pinkstripeycat · 14/05/2025 07:24

It’s not shaming. It’s just a description. A way of describing a family with divorced parents. I think it’s fine.

I don’t feel ashamed that I’m from a broken home or that I’m being shamed. I wasn’t ashamed my mum was a single parent and neither was she as she was too busy working her arse off to keep a roof over our heads.

Growing up I always missed one parent while I was with the other. I have always wanted to know what happens at Xmas and at family get togethers when parents have been married for years instead of sharing my dad, my old family home with a stepmum and half siblings. I had a stepdad from the age of 10-19. Sadly a 2nd time I came from a broken home. I missed him the most.

I’ve been married for 25yrs and ask DH and my DC what it’s like having parents together. They don’t know any different but it fascinates me.

Edited

Well I find it shaming. I resent it being used to describe my home and family and the home I made for my child all my myself. It's awful.

Charlottejbt · 14/05/2025 07:54

YANBU. This is the kind of shaming language that keeps women in bad relationships. We ne longer routinely refer to children of unmarried parents as bastards, and "broken home" needs to stop being used to stigmatize single mothers in the same way.

FortyElephants · 14/05/2025 07:54

frozendaisy · 14/05/2025 07:13

But maybe Bradley’s mum didn’t or couldn’t.

If, say, politicians used “broken homes” in Parliament to describe single parents, that’s offensive, that’s an assumption applied to all single parents, or in an article about “single parenthood”.

This article is an about one specific household at a particular time, in this case, it might be accurate.

It’s two arguments.

Using broken homes as a generic description
Using broken home when it accurately describes

I think it’s concerning to say you can never use a term accurately in specific circumstances because it doesn’t apply to that entire demographic

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But you can't use 'broken home' in one context without acknowledging that it's also used in the other. I also don't understand why you'd prefer the term broken home than abusive home or neglectful home or dysfunctional home. Why not the more accurate and appropriate description?

BringontheSunAgain · 14/05/2025 07:53

It's 'broken' in the sense that there was a split between the couple.

I think you're over reacting.

Coarsepepper · 14/05/2025 07:53

Snowdrop4 · 14/05/2025 04:49

In my case ,as a child, witness to lots of DV ,and then horrendous fighting and divorce, followed by a tug of war with me in the middle for 15 years ..most definitely yes I came from a broken home .
It damaged me beyond repair..they damaged me beyond repair..what else would you call my situation as a child..I certainly wasn't happy..my home was shattered in to a million pieces as was my heart .
I'm glad your home for your child is not the same .

I am so sorry for the traumatic childhood you had. I hope you have a happier and calmer life now. Sending you big hugs x

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 14/05/2025 07:52

Sunnysideup32 · 14/05/2025 05:15

There's no need to mention him being from a broken home, what relevance does it have on him being an addict?
According to the report, Bradley Wiggins became an addict after his marriage collapsed, yet it implies that because his parents were separated, this was the reason he was bought up in poverty and ended up using cocaine,

Erm wasn’t he sexually abused by a coach? You downplayed his struggles a little there.

Viviennemary · 14/05/2025 07:51

You have got an issue with the term and are quite defensive. But I can understand why you feel this way. There are all sorts of homes. Some happy some sad and involve a lot of different factors. Not all lumped together.

Stargazingstargazer · 14/05/2025 07:51

The beeb should be picked up on this… it is an outdated phrase from a time when divorce and separation were seen as shameful. Children carry the stigma of these kinds of views. If the home was also dysfunctional or abusive then that may be relevant to the story, but it is a completely separate issue. Reminds me of the time they saw fit to report on Theresa May becoming PM by interviewing her father for his views. How old fashioned and inappropriate…. Felt very infantilising and sexist.

FortyElephants · 14/05/2025 07:50

Serpentstooth · 14/05/2025 06:57

Changing the language doesn't change the circumstances. However you want to describe a situation that began as a 2 parent family unit which then fell apart, it's broken, for whatever reason.

It's not though. The home is not broken. The relationship is over, you might even say the marriage is broken if you like that kind of overblown emotive language but the HOME is not.

Swiftie1878 · 14/05/2025 07:50

IsitaHatOrACat · 14/05/2025 06:36

I'm not arguing that and this shouldn't be open to debate and more understanding (whilst considering factors such as poverty, disability, poor housing, mental health, effects of domestic abuse etc)
My issue is with the language used which has massive negative connotations and perpetuates stereotypes

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I think that if ‘being brought up by a single parent’ is being used to partially explain his descent into drugs, the use of ‘broken home’ is better language to use.
It more accurately conveys how he felt about his situation and how it could impact him, and excludes families like yours that are happily single-parent.

Happyholidays78 · 14/05/2025 07:49

I haven't heard the term 'broken home' in years & agree OP it is offensive & I say this as a person who does not come from a 'broken home' & has been with my partner my whole adult life, it's a horrible term & very outdated!

FortyElephants · 14/05/2025 07:46

ThisOldThang · 14/05/2025 06:56

When you combine that knowledge with how casually the advice to 'LTB' is thrown around along with such vacuous slogans as 'you only have one life and you deserve to be happy', perhaps there should be a bit more stigma?

"My DH works in the ER. The other night he was dealing with the aftermath of a train crash. He came home, crawled into bed and cried. When I got out of bed, I realised he'd left his pants on the floor.'

"I can't believe he's disrespected you like that! How dare he! He'll never change and there's no excuse. LTB!!!"

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What a load of absolute nonsense

aspidernamedfluffy · 14/05/2025 07:45

I think "dysfunctional childhood" would be better than "broken home" when it comes to describing the sort of upbringing he had.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/05/2025 07:44

arcticpandas · 14/05/2025 05:22

My take on it is that you come from a broken home when your parents get a divorce. So a single parent who always been single is not defined as a broken home. My parents got divorced when I was 11 and yes, I felt as though my home was broken and as if I was broken. I worried constantly about my dad comitting suicide. It was a nasty divorce and it left indelible scars.

In my case there was no dv involved though. I think that if there is dv/abuse the home is already broken whether the the parents stay together or not.

💯. Sorry you went through it too. I was 12 and the only girl in my class whose parents were divorced. Everyone knew.

BHBlue · 14/05/2025 07:41

arcticpandas · 14/05/2025 06:45

I wasn't responding to you but to another poster. I was just stating that I come from a broken home because my parents divorced. There was no abuse but at 11 their divorce broke me down and I suffered immensily because I felt my home was broken and therefore so was I.

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One good reason why calling a single parent household a broken home can be unhelpful for the child

Dysfunctional, abusive home or separated parents is more accurate language

helpfulperson · 14/05/2025 07:40

I think there is a lot of minimising of the effects of divorce on children. Their home is broken by divorce, that is exactly how it feels for most children. It stops being what it was and becomes something else different. Yes sometimes it is the best or only option but that doesn't mean it doesn't have a significant impact. In some ways where there isn't abuse/affairs etc it is harder because the child can't understand why they couldn't all stay together.