BBC news using the phrase "broken home"

When men go bad, it's always their mother's fault. No matter how old the man is. It's definitely the mother. Especially if she's a single mother. That's her fault, too.

I'm sure you did provide an excellent home. My comment was tongue in cheek and I didn't mean to offend people in your situation.

I do, however, think that perhaps some people do prioritise their own immediate gratification/happiness rather than their children's.

I know a couple that have recently divorced. The woman is from a wealthy family and it's been a 'zero impact' event for her. They have 50:50 custody of the kids, but during her week she's out at her hobbies every evening and leaves bedtimes to babysitters. The children are young and, according to their father, quite traumatised by the divorce. They get really upset at bedtimes and he thinks she should prioritise their needs over her hobbies.

Maybe it's a bit of both - but you're the one choosing to use pejorative language to describe homes you know nothing about. 🤷‍♀️

In the interest of taking as much bias as possible out of the news, the BBC shouldn't use the phrase as it has judgemental undertones.

I think you’re taking it too self-righteously. Sorry, but when a father of a two year old leaves a family to live in poverty, then there is damage there, no matter how you look at it. No one is claiming that the single parent hasn’t done their utmost to repair and make up for the damage, and done brilliantly, but there has been damage to overcome nonetheless.

To be fair, if you know anything about Bradley Wiggins he has a long history of psychological and addiction issues, and he has often said that it dates back to his parents' split and his "abandonment" by his father. The nature of his childhood home is very much relevant in this particular case.

If a child has 2 parents together in their home and then the parents separate, their home is broken. It might be for the best, but the actual home they had to start with is broken

And it is for the child to feel how broken their home was, not the parent. You may be doing an amazing job as a single mum, if dad went awol, but doesn’t mean the child won’t miss the fact they don’t have a dad in the picture. They possibly might not tell you so as not to hurt your feelings, and their picture of the dad they want won’t necessarily be their actual dad.

What are you talking about justify? I had no choice in the matter. I don't need to justify how I raised my child with no physical or financial support from an abusive man, there is nothing to justify 😆 I can tell you 100% guaranteed my son has a better life than he would have had if we hadn't divorced/he hadn't left.

ODFOD.

@FortyElephantsexactly!! I work in mental health, with a lot of 70-50 year old clients who had parents who stayed together as was more usual back then. The damage their childhoods did, the stuff they witnessed, despite two parents being together. What I and the other single mums I know are providing in terms of a stable home, love, attention, emotional maturity far outweighs what many two parent households provide.
It’s an inconvenient fact that many couples have to please and pay attention to each other as well as the children. So naturally their children will be worse off, if mum has to pay attention to and fuss over her husband as well as their children. And this dynamic (man child/ father who is actually jealous of his own children) is NOT uncommon.

I was thinking how desperate people appear to be in their attempts to justify raising their kids in broken homes. 😂

I think some people are feeling very defensive about their marriages 😅

You are seriously comparing cars with people? And "should be the accepted norm" - fuck off with that judgmental bullshit. We don't live in Victorian times anymore, thank goodness.

It seems a high percentage of couples split up after having children.

In some cases both parents remain committed to trying to remain in their children's lives.

In many cases it's the mothers who carries the load

In a depressing number of cases the fathers drift away playing little or no role in their children's lives

For many children their parents go on to form new families which they have little say in or control over.

In all cases the parents actually have no idea how any of this will affect their children. Only the children can verify what the impact of all of these choices is on them individually.

My MIL will die swearing that the choices she made around who she had relationships & children with, had NO negative impact on the children she already had. I live with her son & see the reality daily.

What, any mother and father? Or the ideal ones?
This is just such nonsense, truly

They are never described because that should be the accepted norm. We also don't say "I'm buying a new car that will have four wheels" because having four wheels is the expected norm for a car to function properly.

A single parent can do their best, but their efforts will never be as good as a raising a child with both a mother and a father.

You really need to write a ‘good’ mother and father.

But if a marriage ends in divorce, it IS a failed marriage. It's not suggesting either party is a failure per se, just that the marriage itself failed.
There needs to be a way to describe these things - that's all it is, really not that deep.

Its self explanatory isnt it, parents raising children together, and then they split up (whether originally married or not is irrelevant), the relationship is broken, the home is broken up. Its clear what it means and it is applicable.

But there is OP, a child "should" have a mother and father, those that do have vastly better outcomes, countless studies have proven this.

A single parent can do their best, but their efforts will never be as good as a raising a child with both a mother and a father.

Funny too why two-parent homes are never described as "whole" or "intact" - because everyone knows that a lot of two-parent homes are shitty places run by adults who abuse, despise or cheat on each other. So it's not that two-parent homes are good, it's that people want to talk down anyone who's broken (sic) free.

Sorry, but that is for your children to decide and define for themselves, not you or their behalf.

I have never wanged onto my parents about their divorce, it was over 40 years ago now, all is good in my life, time heals etc etc. But I still consider I came from a broken home. Your children may well feel the same. Divorce breaks up homes. Yes, you can create new ones, but your children have still had to experience a broken home.

You're being sensitive, my parents were divorced when I was around 6 an extremely messy divorce (won't go into it ) and I was a single parent for a good five years so this doesn't come from a place of not understanding but the phrase "broken home" is not a big deal

Of course it's shaming - it's intended to shame. Which is why it's never used about widowed parents or families where dad works overseas for years at a time.

I hate the term broken home. I spilt with exh because I fell out of love with him. No violence, no arguments etc. my children see way more of their dad now then when we were together. They are not from a broken home, they know love, they know safety etc and are happy kids. It’s such a horrible stereotype and designed to make people feel like shit for “breaking up a family” so healers a horrible phrase as to what you’ve done!