Am I misreading tone?

But as a therapist her business is completely different.

Clearly the way sthese boundaries are set is meaningful or you wouldn't be on the internet posting about your reaction to her setting this boundary with you.

She's potentially got these boundaries as one aspect of making sure she empowers you and that she doesn't step into a parental/saviour role.

It isn't like a car MOT place or any other business really . The interpersonal dynamics are absolutely key in her ongoing therapeutic approach.

I think chasing payment is different to asking for a reminder. If you dont pay i expect you will get a reminder, asking for one on advance is not fair it is like saying in advance you won't bother to remember (despite being late with deposit) and giving the other person the job to do.

I think they politely asked you to set yourself a reminder and that is fine. You made a slight error asking, amd have been asked to take the responsibility I dont think it is a big deal for either of you.

Yet another thread where the poster asks if they are being unreasonable, and the vast majority of replies tells them that they are. Still they disagree……

Why pose the question if you are only interested in responses that are in agreement?

She’s probably just busy and doesn’t need another thing on her list.

You do realise the subtext to your last line is "The truth is that I place so little value on your services that I can't be assed to remember to pay you for them. If you want your money you'll have to ask for it - again"? Extraordinarily rude. Even if it can be explained by your total self absorption, it can't be excused. I think my response might have been "Ok then, please come back and make an appointment when your financial situation is sorted out. In the meantime, I'll make this session available to someone else" and not been too unhappy if you had a hissy fit and terminated the contract.

Nope. Your bill, your problem with the bank account and your responsibility to sort payment.

These sorts of threads always make me laugh: OP “isn’t this outrageous!” Everyone: “no, YABU”. OP “no I’m not <flounces out >😂

Everyone disagrees with you.

The fact is you seem unable to take on board a 98% vote against you of nearly 1500 strangers of all ages and stages of life. These people don’t know you so they have no
reason to be contrarian or take the therapist’s side against you but for the fact that you are wrong.

Perhaps this is something you need to unpack at therapy.

FML. 😂

Yes, you're being VVVVV unreasonable. Bloody good on Sandra for pushing back in a respectful manner. I bet she was cursing good and proper when she got your message.

I've posted on AIBU and like OP, got 98% yes, YABU.

What I then did, was have some self reflection and tried to get to the bottom of what was clouding my judgement.

Even if you're still in the fog of it, it's more sensible to take a step back and revaluate, even sleep on it.

Going on the attack and disagreeing with literally everyone else doesn't show OP in a good light.

The therapist knows OP well, so would imagine the message was well thought out and possibly meant to help OP long term.

YABVU. It is up to you to set your own reminders. I run a business and I give clients one reminder what is due and when and that is it.

People need to take responsibility for themselves and realise that they are one of 150 clients and I don't have time to chase them all.

You asked if YABU and 98% have said that you are...

“I run a business tutoring and I’ll remind clients. It’s no issue.”

What you need to understand is not everybody lives their lives or runs their businesses the same as you.

You remind me of my cluster B relative who can’t/refuses to understand why people don’t live the exact same life as her. She’s extremely entitled and expects everyone’s help with everything.

Use this experience as a positive and set a reminder for yourself.

Yes, I do something similar...
I will immediately reply with 'Don't forget to go to the bank tomorrow'

(Not always..!).

Of course it’s not up to her to send you a reminder.

There are different payment methods for different types of businesses and preferences.

It’s down to you to acknowledge that, and not expect it to be your way, just because that’s what they do in your particular industry.

On the upside I don’t think you’ll need reminding

But she did remind you, expecting her to chase the payment is highly unreasonable.

If OP was "just airing her thoughts" she'd acknowledge that actually the tone of the message was fine (the question asked) and she is BU. Instead OP has doubled down and made even more ridiculous comments!

You definitely need to take this anger you feel to therapy.

Why can’t you remember to pay your bills? This is something you should be responsible for. Nobody else should need to remind you. If you can’t remember to pay your bills, you should set yourself a reminder in your calendar like she suggested.

It's "Am I being unreasonable?", it's not "I'm 100% right".

There's an expectation that you'll air your thoughts and reflect on comments, otherwise if you're just stubbornly insisting you're right why did you even bother posting? It's a waste of everyone's time.

"Very dramatic response"

Said by the person refusing to set a reminder for themselves, instead getting offended and starting a whole defensive thread about how they're right. Aye sure.

OP asked a question, PPs gave their opinions and then OP started saying everyone was wrong.

That's not a public flogging, that's OP being unable to accept the answers she asked for.

If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question.

Is this what you thought public floggings were like?!?

No. AIBU is to seek peer review of your behaviour or decisions. It's not a hug box.

If you want #bekind, AIBU isn't it.

Well… no, not solely. The AIBU is, as the name suggests, for posters to ask if they’re being unreasonable and for responders to give their opinion. The majority of responders think the OP is being unreasonable.

Honestly you need nerves of steel to post any threads on this site
its like a public flogging when you're just airing your thoughts
aren't we here to support each other???