Am I misreading tone?

Youve asked for opinions, 98% of people think you are wrong, and you keep arguing the toss! Just accept you are wrong to be offended ffs

Anyone who makes their living through getting paid by individuals has dozens of tales of people's creative ways of not paying, dragging out payment so they hope the provider forgets, etc.

After a few experiences like that, you start to take defensive measures. Yes, perhaps this person has just had their bank account frozen, but that happens a lot less than just having no money in it.

And, as kindly as I can put this, people who are in therapy do not always, overall-and-on-average-and-this-doesn't-say-anything-about-you-individually, have their fingers firmly on the pulse of their finances. Your therapist will have a list of people who owe her money as long as her arm.

I think the tone of the message is perfectly placed, given the relationship. She is your therapist. She puts up with whatever you might throw at her in the therapy session, but she doesn't have to put up with you not paying. Her job is to help you to change something in your life, and there's something about breaking eggs to make an omelette about that sort of relationship.

So she is probably aware that you can sense that her teeth were very slightly gritted as she wrote that message, and that's OK. It's not the same as if you're booking a hotel or some other lovely discretionary consumer purchase.

You are in the wrong and won't accept it.

Put a note in your online calendar to remind you to pay her in a few days.

She shouldn’t have to remind you again, that’s making work for her.

Pretty rich to ask her to remind you! Her tone to you was fine, perhaps too nice if anything.

You sound disorganised and dependent. Surely you must have a schedule or list of things to do and money to pay up.. If not, sort it out - don't expect others to manage your life.

She's busy and doesn't want to waste time chasing up your payment. I can't see any more to it than that.

You were already failing your responsibility by not paying the deposit on time, as agreed.

She graciously agreed to keep your appointment despite your payment delay.

Why should she also have to remind you to make (an already delayed) payment?

I'd be mortified

Are you a man, OP? YABU anyway but I'm just curious...

Your interpretation is utterly bizarre. I pay my own therapist upfront and wouldn’t even dream of asking her to remind me about it.

Does your mother still get you up in the morning or are you able to set your own alarm?

I can see why you're in therapy...

Honestly based on a single interaction she sounds like a pretty good therapist. Clear on boundaries, making sure you recognise what are your issues and what are other people's, making sure you take responsibility for the issues that are yours. Full marks.

is this her using the situation as an opportunity to do something you've talked about in therapy?

eg, if you've discussed you needing to take more responsibility for things that happen in your life - this is a good opportunity to put that in practice

if not, then it's perfectly reasonable for her to maintain her position that it's your responsibility to book and arrange payment.

that you behave differently with your own business is fine - neither of you are wrong!

i would hazard a guess that your approach means that you have on occasion forgotten that your clients have forgotten to pay you. her approach makes this virtually impossible.

Fair point

It's your responsibility to pay her, she's not you PA.
She's let you know that in a completely personable way.

Were you just hoping to get a lot of supportive replies?

She got more positive responses on the thread about fancying her physio, so probably, yes.

Even if you disagree with someone. What would be the point here? OP AIBU? Everyone else No. 😂

Wow OP you’re the difficult one here!

Why wouldn’t you just set a reminder for yourself in a couple of days??

She is not your mum — and she's reminding you of that. This gives you something very important to talk about at your next session. I'm amazed you don't have to pay the full sessions in advance. I used to have to pay a month in advance and no money back unless I was able to give her three or four days' notice of a change.

Remind yourself. It's really not her job to do that. She was polite but YOU are the one being difficult not her. It's not her problem if you are having bank account issues.

You asked a question and I answered, with my opinion that her tone is completely fine and that your request for a reminder was rude/ ridiculous/ childish (take your pick). Were you just hoping to get a lot of supportive replies?
The offence you seem to have taken to my response just echoes the way you took offence at your therapists message. The common denominator is you.

That's a bit rude! Just set a reminder yourself it's not difficult.

Your original question: Am I misreading tone?

Yes, you are.

The end.

Not if we’re wrong, no!

Sometimes, shock horror women are wrong, as it shows with OP.

She has already asked you once, and provided you with the fee / invoice. she will not remind you again.

This is the case with most similar services and now the onus is on you to remind yourself/ sort it out.

Of course she told you to set a reminder yourself as the onus is on you and she wants this to be precedent.

Don't think too much into it at all OP : ) she is not being difficult and simply cannot remind all her clients - she is trying to be fair to all x