Am I misreading tone?

You keep saying 'I run a business and I always do X'. That's totally irrelevant.

She's been very patient given you're paying late and she's asked you to sort it out yourself. Nothing wrong with that. Her tone is pleasant and business like. I think she's handled it really well.

You've just got the hump because she's chosen to do things differently to how you would.

I suspect she's earning her money with you 😂

Maybe you should talk about respecting other people's choices at your next session instead of thinking your always right?

And this is her business and she has decided that she does not have time to send reminders which you can easily do yourself.

You say you run your own business, would you accept someone saying there was "slim to no chance" of them remembering to pay you and that you had to remind them? Why is it her job to remind you to pay for a service you require? I can't believe you think she is being unreasonable. She is helping you to become a more independent person who doesn't rely on others to remind them about things they should be remembering themselves, you should stick with her and listen to her.

Wtf has trust got to do with any of this?

She has sent you a reminder. You asking her to send you another reminder in two days reads like a power move. She was 100% right to push back.

YABU and this whole thing is fertile ground for therapy

If its not huge then just do it yourself.

It may not necessarily be true that her system is outdated. She may have a system that sends automated reminders if payment hasn't been received after 30 days and then 60 days, for example, with the text tailored to the different stages of the debt chasing process.

Your situation is different. You would probably be very upset if you received an automated email threatening you with legal action for non-payment, as that wouldn't be applicable in your case.

I’m a therapist and I understand how you feel, you’re a long term client and yould hope there would be trust there in your relationship x

No. You're the problem here. Just set your own reminder.

What, her suggesting you remind yourself is over -dramatic? You could have set 18,000 reminders in this time.

Her tone is warm, there's nothing wrong with it...you just don't like the content.

Reading OP's posts again, it seems she had the biggest issue with the word "infantilising" - perhaps something to address in therapy.

With 98% saying you’re unreasonable I think you need to accept that you think is unfair is seen as correct by the rest of us. Some payments have reminders and some don’t, I know it’s on me to remember and I don’t find it easy to remember things!

It’s not you’re being dramatic!

Put a reminder on your phone, or keep reviewing this thread to remind you.

I’m not sure you’ll “forget” something that’s caused you so much angst? 🤷‍♀️

It is infantilising though. It's one thing to just forget to send a payment, it's another entirely to know in advance you're going to forget and not set your own reminder. It's very "oh little old me will never remember that."

You keep saying you run a business.. clearly you cope just fine in your professional life, run a diary, organise clients and whatnot. Apply some of that to instances like this in your personal life. Businesses wouldn't have to chase payments so much if everyone sorted their shit out and set reminders themselves.

This

Your reaction is definitely something to explore in therapy. You may not even realise yet its connection to whatever you have been discussing to date.

Hope you get it cleared up soon. Good luck

No of course she shouldn't have to remind you!
Set it on your phone yourself it would have taken less time than to write your post.
My word theres some bloody hard work people on this forum today.

Wtf! And you run a business?

Her tone is in fact so pleasant and accommodating that I suspect she is aware that you are super sensitive to criticism and suggestions that you stand on your own two feet.

asking her to remind you of something when you could clearly take responsibility yourself is so hilariously entitled, I’m genuinely stunned that you can’t see that your therapist was absolutely right to challenge your behaviour

But it’s your problem and you’ll know as soon as it’s fixed, so you pay it immediately?

She will not know and may invoice to early again, this you’ll expect her to remind you again, or you’ll have the money and she won’t have reminded again and she’ll be out of pocket.

Why are you so convinced you’ll forget to pay her in two days, but claim to run a business and remember to ask your own clients to pay?

As we’re all telling you, it’s really juvenile the way you asked her to remind you again. Which she’s very gently told you in the subtext of her reply.

Why did you post OP?

Another typical YABU thread.

-hmm AIBU?
-well, since you're asking, yes you are.
-NO I'M NOT

👍🏼

I get what you're saying about sending reminders when people haven't paid but what you are doing is different. Sometimes people forget to pay, they don't plan this but life happens. Of course in that scenario people will chase up payment.

In your scenario you are essentially saying to her 'I know I am going to forget to pay you but I am not going to do anything to prevent that, I am going to give you the task of chasing me up'. If you KNOW you are likely to forget then it's on you to plan for it.

Gently OP I think YABU

Her tone reads pleasant with kisses and emojis.

I think you’re doing that thing that I am definitely guilty of, of expecting others to approach things in the same way you do and then taking it almost as a personal affront when they do.

Youve mentioned many times that you send reminders regularly in your business which is completely fine if that’s how it works for you. Clearly for therapist this is not how she does things. Her business model may be different to yours, she might have a million and one other things she’s juggling, she may also think the chances of her remembering are “slim to none” or she just might not be bothered with the faff of it all when she could just ask you to do it. In the time it’s taken you to read all these messages you could have set yourself multiple reminders on your phone, plus if you’ve been scammed recently I’m sure you will be checking to make sure it’s been resolved regularly.

I honestly don’t think it’s personal. You many not agree with it but as you say you appreciate the therapy you get then it sounds like you need to just suck it up