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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband uses my towel!!

209 replies

ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 21:45

Exactly that!

Am I being unreasonable to think DH should use his own towel when showering/bathing?

We hang our towels on the back on the back of our bedroom door, my towel is usually pink or purple as I bought them for me and my daughter when we lived together, just us two, a girls house. DH’s towel is usually blue or green, from his house when he lived by himself!

I’m suffering tonight with cramps and back pain and it may be because it’s TOTM but DH had a shower and then came downstairs with my pink towel around his waist and it really annoyed me!! I’ve told him so many times to use his own towel. Tonight he just said in his nonchalant male tone “sorry I just grabbed the first one I saw!!”. He just doesn’t seem to get it. I only changed the towels this weekend and now he has used both of ours, so I’m going to have to get another clean towel tomorrow morning!

YABU - get yourself some chocolate and get over it he is your husband!

YANBU - he should be more understanding, send him out to get you chocolate!

OP posts:
Original poster
ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 22:37

ShortyShorts · 13/05/2025 22:01

What on earth does chocolate have to do with anything?

Or are you saying you're in a mood because 'period' and not actually because he used your towel? 🙄

Just a bit of fun! But it annoyed me more tonight than it has done in the past, probably because I’m more tetchy today but he knows it’s annoyed me in the past!

OP posts:
nyancatdays · 13/05/2025 22:35

catsand · 13/05/2025 22:29

I don’t want to dry my face on a towel that DH has dried his balls and ass on, no matter how freshly washed the area may be

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Ditto, but there’s another thread running right now where this opinion is considered outrageously OCD! 😆

Anyone who believes a light sluice in the bath makes those areas “clean” is being rather optimistic! To be honest though my DP could autoclave himself in the shower and I still wouldn’t really want to rub my face on a towel where he’d been drying his arse crack.

Babyboomtastic · 13/05/2025 22:35

Can't you just use his towel tomorrow?

I don't get the issue, aside from doing something he knew would annoy you.

But we are a family of towel sharers.

Redpeach · 13/05/2025 22:33

ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 21:56

The issue is his towel is next to mine. It doesn’t take a lot to pick his own! Also I have to be up earlier than him to go to work in the morning and my towel won’t now be dry by the morning. It’s not about cleanliness, it’s about his thought process!

Show quote history

And your thought process

SpunkySquid · 13/05/2025 22:32

catsand · 13/05/2025 22:29

I don’t want to dry my face on a towel that DH has dried his balls and ass on, no matter how freshly washed the area may be

Show quote history

Exactly what I was about to say. Maybe @RhaenysRocks is into that though.

theriseandfallofFranklinSaint · 13/05/2025 22:32

A towel is a towel!

catsand · 13/05/2025 22:29

RhaenysRocks · 13/05/2025 21:48

Don't be ludicrous. You let him ejaculate inside you, I imagine you put your mouth on his genitals.. he's just come out of a shower and is clean. What on earth is the issue?

I don’t want to dry my face on a towel that DH has dried his balls and ass on, no matter how freshly washed the area may be

EdithStourton · 13/05/2025 22:27

Stickortwigs · 13/05/2025 21:58

Couples have separate towels?!

Yep.
I like my towel to be dry. DH used to shower in the morning and leave a damp towel that wouldn't dry because he didn't hang it up properly. Then he'd use mine in the evening because it was dry, leaving me the choice of a damp-all-day towel or a newly-damp towel.

Shit was lost. Lessons were given in How Hang Up A Towel. He hasn't touched my towel in years.

Love51 · 13/05/2025 22:26

Jetsettermum · 13/05/2025 22:07

“Sorry DH I needed to pay £300 for something and used your credit card as I just grabbed the first one I saw” 🤣

Yeah that would be fine here too! Towels, money, credit cards, cars.
It was the same in the home I grew up in. I've never had any skin condition related to towel sharing and neither have any family members.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 13/05/2025 22:25

mugglewump · 13/05/2025 21:54

Well I never realised that people in a family household had their own towels. We just have shared towels. Are we the weird ones?

Yes.

sesquipedalian · 13/05/2025 22:23

OP, it’s a towel. I suggest you start keeping yours somewhere else - or just use a clean one every time. Like you, DH and I have different colours, but happily for me, he wouldn’t dream of taking mine!

HollieHock · 13/05/2025 22:19

Stickortwigs · 13/05/2025 21:58

Couples have separate towels?!

Couples don't have separate towels?!

nyancatdays · 13/05/2025 22:17

Honestly OP I think this is him subtly telling you that he will do EXACTLY as he pleases and doesn't give a shit what you think.

This!

It’s not about using her towel, is it? It’s about him not doing what she’s repeatedly asked. If someone asks for a courtesy, you respect their wishes because it matters to them, even if you don’t care about it.

There’s nothing more dispiriting than a partner who doesn’t see the need to respect your minor everyday wishes and preferences — which he should do just because they’re your wishes, even if he’d do things differently.

It’s a way of showing her that he doesn’t care what she would like and doesn’t think her requests or comfort/discomfort are valid to him. That’s why it’s objectionable, not anything to do about whether people should feel happy using each others’ towels.

steelingmyself · 13/05/2025 22:15

MoveYourSelfDearie · 13/05/2025 22:13

It doesn't matter whether other people here think it's fine to share towels or not. You don't want to share towels. Your DH knows this but doesn't care. The solution to this doesn't inconvenience him. It's about his respect for you, or lack of it

^^this!

Saying that, all of the debate about whether it is or isn’t ok to share towels is very amusing!

MoveYourSelfDearie · 13/05/2025 22:13

It doesn't matter whether other people here think it's fine to share towels or not. You don't want to share towels. Your DH knows this but doesn't care. The solution to this doesn't inconvenience him. It's about his respect for you, or lack of it

Original poster
ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 22:10

TheChosenTwo · 13/05/2025 22:05

😂 I hang mine on the spare room/my office door hook for this reason! I share a bathroom with dh and ds, the dds have their own bathroom but it’s on the top floor and I can’t be arsed to go up and use theirs but they have a healthy respect for towels!! The boys I share with most definitely do not. I also have my own bath mat that is pretty and scalloped that I only put down and remove again when I’m showering otherwise there’s spots of toothpaste where someone misses the sink or it’s just soggy when I come to use it.
YANBU imo, I don’t want to share towels or bath mats and in our next house I will not only have my own bedroom but my own bathroom too!!

Oh that sounds like heaven! Your own bathroom and bedroom! That’s what dreams are made of!

OP posts:
Original poster
ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 22:08

Jetsettermum · 13/05/2025 22:07

“Sorry DH I needed to pay £300 for something and used your credit card as I just grabbed the first one I saw” 🤣

😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
Deanthebean · 13/05/2025 22:08

Clownsy · 13/05/2025 21:58

Honestly OP I think this is him subtly telling you that he will do EXACTLY as he pleases and doesn't give a shit what you think.

Massive red flag that you have had him move in.

4 children here. All with different colour flags.
Of all the bickering over 25 years, not ONCE has there been an issue with their own towels.

They have enough cop on and courtesy towards each not to use someone else's towel.

I would be more pissed off by his persistent blatant disregard for a reasonable request than the act itself.

Not someone I would want around my child.
This is his mask slipping, you just haven't realised it yet.

Be warned.

Give over it's a TOWEL.
honestly never ever have I heard people being so anal over towels other than on Mumsnet 😀

Original poster
ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 22:08

Lovemybunnies · 13/05/2025 21:59

I have the same problem. My husband grabs whichever towel is nearest. It’s not stupid as there are skin infections etc that can be passed around. I hate it. There has been the odd occasion it has happened with my toothbrush as well…

Your toothbrush! 🤢🤢 my gag reflex is so bad that I gag when I clean my teeth, I can’t imagine anyone using my toothbrush… or my towel 😷😷

OP posts:
TY78910 · 13/05/2025 22:07

EffortlesslyInelegant · 13/05/2025 21:51

If you washed your towels every ten minutes like a proper Mumsnetter you wouldn't have this problem.

This tickled me

Jetsettermum · 13/05/2025 22:07

“Sorry DH I needed to pay £300 for something and used your credit card as I just grabbed the first one I saw” 🤣

greenmarsupial · 13/05/2025 22:06

I found this out about my DH too and was horrified. I have a main towel and a hair towel. I don’t use the hair towel on my body and feel it’s ‘clean’ - I caught DH with it round his waist and drying very thoroughly Blush

Icanttakethisanymore · 13/05/2025 22:06

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/05/2025 22:03

That her towel will be all wet when she wants to use it and he will never need to bother washing his own

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Do you imagine they each wash their own towels? That would be unusual… wouldn’t it? I feel like my understanding of towel etiquette in families is being blown wide open on this thread 😂

TheChosenTwo · 13/05/2025 22:05

😂 I hang mine on the spare room/my office door hook for this reason! I share a bathroom with dh and ds, the dds have their own bathroom but it’s on the top floor and I can’t be arsed to go up and use theirs but they have a healthy respect for towels!! The boys I share with most definitely do not. I also have my own bath mat that is pretty and scalloped that I only put down and remove again when I’m showering otherwise there’s spots of toothpaste where someone misses the sink or it’s just soggy when I come to use it.
YANBU imo, I don’t want to share towels or bath mats and in our next house I will not only have my own bedroom but my own bathroom too!!

Icanttakethisanymore · 13/05/2025 22:05

You sound nuts to me but he equally if it bothers you and you’ve asked him not to use it, he should just use his own towel.