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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband uses my towel!!

209 replies

ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 21:45

Exactly that!

Am I being unreasonable to think DH should use his own towel when showering/bathing?

We hang our towels on the back on the back of our bedroom door, my towel is usually pink or purple as I bought them for me and my daughter when we lived together, just us two, a girls house. DH’s towel is usually blue or green, from his house when he lived by himself!

I’m suffering tonight with cramps and back pain and it may be because it’s TOTM but DH had a shower and then came downstairs with my pink towel around his waist and it really annoyed me!! I’ve told him so many times to use his own towel. Tonight he just said in his nonchalant male tone “sorry I just grabbed the first one I saw!!”. He just doesn’t seem to get it. I only changed the towels this weekend and now he has used both of ours, so I’m going to have to get another clean towel tomorrow morning!

YABU - get yourself some chocolate and get over it he is your husband!

YANBU - he should be more understanding, send him out to get you chocolate!

OP posts:
BlueTitShark · 14/05/2025 13:08

Delphiniumandlupins · 14/05/2025 01:47

I wonder if the men people who think it doesn't matter which towel they use would notice if they were left with a damp one?

It wouldn’t matter because I’d use the other one, which won’t be damp??

I mean unless you have a huge difference between the two towels (like size, one is all fluffy and soft, the other ancient and hard etc…), I’m struggling to see why it matters?

piehj · 14/05/2025 12:55

TooGoodToGoto · 14/05/2025 11:43

How did you decide that you had your own bathroom and DH and DS shared?

I have the same situation, en suite is mine, bathroom is DH’s and the kids. It jokingly came about as we have boys, so I said it was a girls’ and boys’ bathroom situation. DH doesn’t care, he wouldn’t use the en-suite anyway as he’d wake me getting up early for work, I love having a private bathroom and DH has his own ‘man cave’ and the double garage, so he’s not without! I do sometimes use his towel though when I have a bath (my en-suite only has a shower) if I’ve forgotten to bring mine with me 🤷‍♀️

Mumofyellows · 14/05/2025 12:42

It's taken me ages, years, to train my DH out of just picking up any towel and using it. We have separate ones and so does DD when she is home from uni. I never grew up sharing towels so when DH moved in and was merrily using any one willy nilly it really threw me!

ExhaustedPigeon37 · 14/05/2025 12:40

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 14/05/2025 12:36

Genuine question do couples actually do their own washing?
Doesn’t anyone doing the washing decide it’s time to do a load of towels, gather them all up and shove them in the machine?

We do our own washing but towels all go in together

We do all of ours together too

OP posts:
HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 14/05/2025 12:36

Genuine question do couples actually do their own washing?
Doesn’t anyone doing the washing decide it’s time to do a load of towels, gather them all up and shove them in the machine?

We do our own washing but towels all go in together

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 14/05/2025 12:34

Wot! Really. You share towels? Bathtowels?

Yeah... and? 🤷🏼‍♀️

ExhaustedPigeon37 · 14/05/2025 12:23

Notsosure1 · 14/05/2025 11:33

Actually it’s a GOOD gag reflex.

I saw a meme the other day saying poor gag reflexes make the heimlich manoeuvre less effective (don’t know how far this is true). It was basically a ‘light hearted’ way of saying that women who work against their gag reflex giving their partner BJ’s are actually, unsurprisingly, putting their lives at risk.

Thank you! I shall explain this to him 😂😂 although after 8 years of being together (1 year of that married) he has come to not expect it, and if it was really that important then he wouldn’t have asked me to marry him! 😂😂

OP posts:
TooGoodToGoto · 14/05/2025 12:19

HamptonPlace · 14/05/2025 12:03

I can only imagine you are being sarcastic,,,

I fear not!!

HamptonPlace · 14/05/2025 12:03

Clownsy · 13/05/2025 21:58

Honestly OP I think this is him subtly telling you that he will do EXACTLY as he pleases and doesn't give a shit what you think.

Massive red flag that you have had him move in.

4 children here. All with different colour flags.
Of all the bickering over 25 years, not ONCE has there been an issue with their own towels.

They have enough cop on and courtesy towards each not to use someone else's towel.

I would be more pissed off by his persistent blatant disregard for a reasonable request than the act itself.

Not someone I would want around my child.
This is his mask slipping, you just haven't realised it yet.

Be warned.

I can only imagine you are being sarcastic,,,

HamptonPlace · 14/05/2025 12:00

mugglewump · 13/05/2025 21:54

Well I never realised that people in a family household had their own towels. We just have shared towels. Are we the weird ones?

we are the normal ones.

Ifeelabitsick · 14/05/2025 11:52

Just take a clean towel in with you, or get a bathrobe.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/05/2025 11:46

TooGoodToGoto · 14/05/2025 11:43

How did you decide that you had your own bathroom and DH and DS shared?

The main bathroom has a shaving point and a separate shower which they both prefer. I don't care. If either had felt strongly they could have used the one in the guest room.

TooGoodToGoto · 14/05/2025 11:43

RosesAndHellebores · 14/05/2025 11:12

Lying here in my bubble bath and reflecting. I have a clean towel ready and one for my hair.

What would really piss me off is if DH used my bathroom. He doesn't. He uses the main one and if we have DS home he has to share.

How did you decide that you had your own bathroom and DH and DS shared?

Redpeach · 14/05/2025 11:37

Anyotherdude · 14/05/2025 10:49

I’m with you, OP - there is a limit to what you want to share…
https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/12/sharing-towels-partner-faecal-bacteria-11720283/

Meh

squarepegroudhole · 14/05/2025 11:35

Sharing towels gives me the absolute boak. I don't want a soggy or damp towel when it's been used by someone before me. I am with you op. In my household I would be very vocal about it.

Notsosure1 · 14/05/2025 11:33

ExhaustedPigeon37 · 13/05/2025 21:50

Actually I don’t put my mouth anywhere near his genitalia! Bad gag reflex!

Actually it’s a GOOD gag reflex.

I saw a meme the other day saying poor gag reflexes make the heimlich manoeuvre less effective (don’t know how far this is true). It was basically a ‘light hearted’ way of saying that women who work against their gag reflex giving their partner BJ’s are actually, unsurprisingly, putting their lives at risk.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/05/2025 11:12

Lying here in my bubble bath and reflecting. I have a clean towel ready and one for my hair.

What would really piss me off is if DH used my bathroom. He doesn't. He uses the main one and if we have DS home he has to share.

Redpeach · 14/05/2025 11:00

familylawyer01392 · 14/05/2025 10:44

Would you just randomly use the first towel you saw?

Certainly when i was a child, yes

ExhaustedPigeon37 · 14/05/2025 10:50

TooGoodToGoto · 14/05/2025 09:12

Burn the towel, no other option!

😂😂😂

OP posts:
SapporoBaby · 14/05/2025 10:48

familylawyer01392 · 14/05/2025 10:44

Would you just randomly use the first towel you saw?

Yes.

SapporoBaby · 14/05/2025 10:46

You’re being nuts. It’s a towel… presumably as he’s your husband you’ve had his bodily germs all over you.

Ive never once been possessive over a towel.

familylawyer01392 · 14/05/2025 10:44

Redpeach · 14/05/2025 10:37

I didn't know people had their own towels until i was an adult

Would you just randomly use the first towel you saw?

Redpeach · 14/05/2025 10:37

I didn't know people had their own towels until i was an adult

Fairyliz · 14/05/2025 10:35

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/05/2025 22:03

That her towel will be all wet when she wants to use it and he will never need to bother washing his own

Genuine question do couples actually do their own washing?
Doesn’t anyone doing the washing decide it’s time to do a load of towels, gather them all up and shove them in the machine?