To think that we are indeed an island of strangers, but…

As immigrants to the UK in the pandemic, when everyone was not able to mingle, we did the following things to feel a part of the community as quickly as possible:

Volunteering
Joined two hobby clubs
Went into work 4 days a week though I am allowed to WFH
Sent food to my neighbours to get to know them at Xmas.

Or a football/rugby team? Certainly a shared sense of community in Cardiff on a match day.

It goes back further than the internet. Lots of societal changes over the past 50+ years.

Most people no longer have "local" shops they can walk to so less opportunities to stop and chat to neighbours on the street or in your "corner shop".

Most people don't have to luxury of being a stay at home parent so are rushing around juggling school runs, work, shopping, caring for elderly relatives etc - no time to stop and chat.

Few "local" pubs anymore, so instead of walking to the pub at the end of the street for a drink or two in the evening among your friends and neighbours, you now get a taxi to the local town instead (or stay home with a bottle/cans bought from the supermarket).

Broken families, so children spend half the week in one place, and half the week in another, so not "playing" in the same area where they go to school so not making "friends" where they live who they go to school with.

Kids don't go to their nearest school anymore - neither primary nor secondary. Primary kids go to whichever school is handy for parent's journey to/from work. Secondary kids go to one of several schools. Our son's primary was feeder for no less than 10 secondaries - only 2 kids in his class went to his secondary! That breaks up early years friendships.

School leavers don't go to a local college anymore, they don't get local jobs anymore. Many go off to Uni a few hundred miles away and never return to live nor work in their home towns - again, breaking early year friendships. My son has no contact at all with more than a couple of friends from primary nor secondary schools - they're all spread over the UK.

To an extent the internet has actually been a good thing to act as a sticking plaster over the societal changes. In my son's case, it was invaluable when he started Uni in the middle of Covid lockdowns, and again when he started working in a new city after leaving Uni, no local friends, etc - the internet kept him sane and helped with the transitions.

I have just listened to this and found myself fascinated.

I know it’s a gender based discussion but take out that focus and it’s a deep discussion into community, personal responsibility and societal structure.

And many people do. School needs to be involved because there are increasing numbers of children whose parents will not know the traditions of the school place they live. That is the point, people who don’t know need to be integrated which will happen through education It is more important to learn about the culture of the country you’re in than other cultures, that’s an add on, a secondary thing.

If people cared so much about these traditions they would teach their kids about them themselves, not expect school to teach it. Of course they learn about other cultures, that's what education is for. But if traditions are to continue they need to be acted on.

Completely agree.

That's true op

Err no a very unleafy, half council housing half not street in Manchester.

Live sport/eurovision/reality tv evictions are the only things we watch at the same time now.

But we don't - just try posting a thread here about any of those things, and watch the responses flood in from people disclaiming any knowledge of them.

Multiculturalism could have worked if the UK was friendlier to skilled, educated, English speaking immigrants. But no.. Those with skills are leaving now.

Let me guess you live in a nice middle class leafy London street ?

Live sport/eurovision/reality tv evictions are the only things we watch at the same time now.
Which is one of the reasons live sport is a good thing

We even get our news all over the place, different slants, fewer people give deeper thought to events, so conversations with others, not close friends or family, are down to “hairdresser chair small talk”

Actually some of the time I have no idea of what babble the teens are giggling at on YouTube!

Exactly - much easier to build a community you can actually meet at the children's centre, youth centre, library, swimming pool...

Our allotment is hugely chatty - a shared interest.

Multiculturalism simply doesn't work.

Without shared values, you can't have a cohesive community, add the this several decades worth of individualism, and this is where we are.

The government actually wants this, not because they believe in a happy chappy, let's sing the rainbow song while we dance around the altar of inclusion, they encourage it because an electorate of the individual is a weak electorate. If there is no consensus as a society, they can pass whatever laws they want. There will never be sufficient numbers of people, of any particular standing, to make a valid objection.

We used to watch the same T.V, read the same books, live in the same houses and complain about the same things. Now we all watch different media, live differently, and our concerns are voiced in echo chambers.

Interestingly, where I live we know our neighbours very well, have keys to others houses to feed cats/water plants etc quite often our door is unlocked we have very low numbers of immigrants. In fact, I’m struggling to think of anyone on our estate that isn’t British born and bred.

On the other hand I’ve lived in an area with extremely high immigration- doors locked even when home ( not that that stops the multiple thefts from the neighbourhood each night) , constant anti social behaviour, neighbours not integrating, keeping in their own communities.

Nonsense. I was at school in the 80s and we were taught about all the religions and I lived in a mainly white town.

The main difference was that we were taught that everyone should be treated with respect, or at least politeness.

That ship has long sailed.

What do you base that assumption on? Also I think your conclusions on certain matters are very skewed. Eg - I don’t want to define the BBC, however I think its practices do need investigation-it is so far from being objective. If it is to be a unifying broadcaster it needs to move from its leftist woke ideals to being more centrist. The overwhelming bias of the BBC is what most people have issue with.

Well, with Starmer's new measures targeting legal taxpaying immigrants, I, a foreigner with English as my first language, brought up on a diet of English culture and with mostly English friends, will be leaving. Many others in the same boat will be too. We feel cheated because the government has lied and changed the goalposts to extract more money from legal immigrants.

It will indeed be an island of strangers when those who have integrated are forced out for following the rules.

Yes, I count myself lucky to be Gen X.

I think ad OP suggests, we are becoming an island of strangers, the days of our parents/ grandparents where people knew there neighbours well, left doors unlocked etc are long gone. Sadly though there are also an increasing number of areas in the country where people of a different background are simply not welcome and that is due to immigration

@Changeissmall Mu two sets of neighbours don’t speak enough English to chat. They seem lovely people but I can’t build any relationship with them.

i think this is what Starmer meant. If enough people come over and speak that same language and they gravitate to the same place for that reason , they remain in that little enclave and don’t bother to learn English to a proficient level. There is no cohesion, just groups of strangers living alongside each other.

Language skills are included in the white paper.