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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don’t feel like my kids are thriving right now

87 replies

guh · 13/05/2025 19:36

They’re 3 and 5. My 5 year old is in reception and my little one is at nursery.

there’s a lot of crying and screaming going on and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

they seem utterly shattered. I pick them up after nursery and school at 3 pm. I try to get them to bed by 7:30-8 pm. They get up at 7.

I am trying to feed them nutritious meals, although that’s a challenge sometimes.

what else can I do ? They just seem so frazzled, always complaining and crying and screaming. I’m not sure if I’ve just had a bad day or what, but I just don’t feel like they’re happy at the moment.

OP posts:
guh · 13/05/2025 19:49

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

You sound like a troll. I’m not whining. I’m literally asking for help on how to make them happier / aka be a better parent. What’s wrong with you ? Seriously.

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babystarsandmoon · 13/05/2025 19:49

I would give them a snack and some quiet time as soon as they be home, get dinner done and aim to have them in bed for 7pm. They don’t need extra walks if they’re already shattered.

guh · 13/05/2025 19:48

I always give them their after school snack in the car. I also stay with them until they’ve fallen asleep every night.

If I’m not taking them outside or to the playground, we just chill, playing with trains or blocks / Lego a bit. Some colouring in and some TV time.

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SweetButterfly666 · 13/05/2025 19:47

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WitcheryDivine · 13/05/2025 19:47

Also how are you? When I’m feeling stressed myself the screaming feels much screamier.

WitcheryDivine · 13/05/2025 19:45

Do you do a post school snack? Toast and an apple or something? Could you all do something together sometimes eg go for a walk, play a simple game? I’m wondering if they’re just running out of steam a bit early and too tired to play.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 13/05/2025 19:45

Mine go through phases like that. It’s rare for them to both go through it at the same time though! So maybe you’re just unlucky.

I’ve always thought of them as going through a developmental stage - and just try and ride it out, lots of cuddles, sleep with them at night if they need it etc. Now 8 and 4 and we seem to be quite settled though they still have their moments! 4 year old is still having tantrums now and then, but it’s a lot easier when the 8 year old is calm (and finds the tantrums hilarious 😆)

Could you pull back any other activities for a bit - free up weekends for some chill time? Nursery and reception are big transition years and you have a double whammy.

guh · 13/05/2025 19:45

Yeah I sometimes take them to the playground or I let them play outside in our garden, nothing makes any difference to be honest.

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Babyshadows · 13/05/2025 19:42

I would try bringing the bedtime forward. Mine are 3 and 4 and we aim for bed at 6.45/ 7pm and they wake up about half about 7-7.30pm. Low demands when we are home as find they are absolutely shattered. We still have plenty of screaming, I think it’s the age and also this week the weather. Just lots of boundaries and repetition needed in our house

Partridgewell · 13/05/2025 19:42

Could you give them each a visual timetable and stick really clearly to a strong routine for a while? I found when mine were little that they were less whiny when they knew exactly what to expect.

Slimpleton · 13/05/2025 19:42

What do you do in-between pick up and bedtime? Maybe get them out for a walk now then weather is nice or in the garden if you have one? My kids are always so much happier when outside, but I know exactly what you mean about them seeming frazzled!! Maybe try and have an activity planned for when they get home?

guh · 13/05/2025 19:40

Any tips on what I could do, to balance them a bit more? They seem out of balance.

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