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Original poster

To insist on DP showering before we are intimate

119 replies

GreenGreenGiant · 13/05/2025 18:31

DP works a manual job, and can be a bit whiffy when he returns. I’ve always insisted on him showering before any intimacy which he has done without complaint. Recently, he is moaning about it and saying it kills any spontaneity as he doesn’t shower as a matter of course after work (he has one each morning). I would struggle to be intimate without him showering if I’m honest. Do you see his point of view or am I being a bit uptight?

OP posts:
JoyousEagle · 13/05/2025 19:08

I totally get the bit about losing spontaneity - but that’s why he should shower every day after work as a standard thing!

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 13/05/2025 19:04

GreenGreenGiant · 13/05/2025 18:54

He says I can over exaggerate the smell, and thinks that a quick freshen up and deodorant is sufficient. If we are to be intimate, he’ll offer a ‘gentleman’s wash’ but I always insist on a shower.

A gentleman's wash ?

Is that what a penis beaker is for?

hangingonfordearlife1 · 13/05/2025 19:02

he wouldn’t be getting in my bed with or without intimacy if he was which. i’m not changing sheets every day for the sake of him having a 2 minute shower

Orangemintcream · 13/05/2025 19:00

God that’s disgusting. I have also showered after site/manual work.

Often in the morning and evening - but always in the evening and everyone I worked with was the same.

WallaceinAnderland · 13/05/2025 18:58

Grim

Original poster
GreenGreenGiant · 13/05/2025 18:54

He says I can over exaggerate the smell, and thinks that a quick freshen up and deodorant is sufficient. If we are to be intimate, he’ll offer a ‘gentleman’s wash’ but I always insist on a shower.

OP posts:
pompey38 · 13/05/2025 18:46

GreenGreenGiant · 13/05/2025 18:31

DP works a manual job, and can be a bit whiffy when he returns. I’ve always insisted on him showering before any intimacy which he has done without complaint. Recently, he is moaning about it and saying it kills any spontaneity as he doesn’t shower as a matter of course after work (he has one each morning). I would struggle to be intimate without him showering if I’m honest. Do you see his point of view or am I being a bit uptight?

So if it’s not “ sexy time” he’s not required to wash after work? 🤢

TimeForABreak4 · 13/05/2025 18:46

I can't believe he's not showering when he gets home when he has a manual job. My dh, db and everyone I know who is a tradesman or who has a manual job showers when they get home. Can't say I blame you to be honest.

sheknowsitstoolate · 13/05/2025 18:43

But he still sleeps in the bed while honking? Lovely

WinWhenTheyreSinging · 13/05/2025 18:42

So he gets in to bed stinking? That’s disgusting, regardless of whether he wants a shag or not.

Smoronic · 13/05/2025 18:41

isolate34 · 13/05/2025 18:39

Why doesn't he just swap to showering in evening after work instead of morning if he doesn't want two a day. Regardless of shagging I wouldn't want to be going to bed with someone who stinks of sweat

This. Obviously he values his co workers over you in terms of who he is willing to inflict stench on.

isolate34 · 13/05/2025 18:39

Why doesn't he just swap to showering in evening after work instead of morning if he doesn't want two a day. Regardless of shagging I wouldn't want to be going to bed with someone who stinks of sweat

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 13/05/2025 18:36

If he has one shower a day and is working in a manual labour job, why doesn’t he shift to a shower straight after work? When I did a manual sweaty job, that’s what I did. Usually I shower every morning but there’s no point if you are walking straight into sweat and filth!

Icecreammaninavan · 13/05/2025 18:35

If he stinks after work he should be showering after work, regardless of intimacy.

TomatoSandwiches · 13/05/2025 18:34

He has a manual job, he needs to have a quick shower when he gets home, his sheets must reek if he's whiffy after work.
Can't believe he expects you to put up with his stench, how attractive?!

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 13/05/2025 18:34

yeah he needs to be showering twice a day if he smells after work!

Yddraigoldragon · 13/05/2025 18:33

No shower, no sex! Ewww! He needs to shower when he gets home, and he can then be as spontaneous as he likes later.

SadieAdlerBountyHunter · 13/05/2025 18:33

It's a matter of personal opinion. But for me, no I could not be doing with introducing mandatory showers into proceedings. It's not quite the scene I'm going for.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 13/05/2025 18:33

If he’s a bit whiffy when he gets home from work I’d be wanting him to shower regardless of intimacy.