To insist on DP showering before we are intimate

Could you join him in the shower and do a bit of foreplay beforehand? It might make it less of a "task" for him?

So crack on having sex with your stinking husband. That’s fine if you are into that. A lot of us aren’t.

OP, your husband is disgusting. 😕

Because the incident she's referring too is when he's just home....was feeling horny and wanted intimacy with his wife???

Jeez does noone just look at their partner and get turned on anymore??? Sex doesn't always take place in bed...not in my relationships anyway. It's called spontaneous fun.

Maybe the problem is attaching hygiene to sex? Really a shower needs to be attached to the end of his working day in his mind, and only then should he arrive home in his mind and start seducing you!

YANBU to expect basic hygiene and a shower after a stinky job is definitely that.

Can see why he’s your x

Anyone who has a manual job should be showering when they get home imo, intimacy or not.

If he didn't shower when he got home from work he would be doing another 'manual job' ....😮

It takes a bloke 5 minutes, honestly if Dh did a manual job I’d expect him to get straight into the shower after work regardless.

I also like teeth to be brushed. Don’t want to taste / smell what they’ve eaten all day especially if it’s garlic which I can’t stand 🤮🤮🤮

It’s gross reading all these posts about men like OPs partners. It’s also baffling as well. A shower is not an onerous thing. We have easy access to water/electric showers here. it’s not like anyone has to hike and collect water from a river or something.

I’ve lived in Asia and Africa and maybe due to the heat there it’s more part of their culture but I found the men (and women) would routinely shower if they got sweaty, up to 3 times a day. Especially the ones who did manual labour.

The public transport there would be far less smelly because everyone showered more.

I’ve found Americans to be a bit less smelly too but that probably depends on the areas you go to. I’m not sure what the rural backwaters are like as I tend to stay in the city.

But too many people here are soap dodgers. I see it all the time on threads here - people making excuses to “wash” instead of shower or claiming they don’t sweat much and only need to shower twice a week blah blah

I live up north and sometimes get on a bus or train and the smell is just 🤢 even in winter but it gets worse during the warmer months.

If i was sleeping in the same bed i’d expect him to have a shower regardless, why not shower when he gets in instead of the morning? That way he doesn’t have to kill the mood by showering first.

My DH also has a manual job and he is now used to showering as soon as he’s home. He didn’t always at first and one time I went to give him a BJ and it stunk down there! Stopped immediately! Since then it became the rule- want the possibility of sex tonight? Shower! Now it’s just normal for him regardless of whether sex is on the cards or not.

My ex used to absolutely stink after work, He refused to have a shower when he got back in. it was such a turn off. It also made the duvet smell.

He may not have as keen a sense of smell as you do? I have a friend whose perfume is so strong it knocks me out - horrendous - and we had a chat about it, smelt different things, and it turns out she can barely smell anything! Maybe explain it to your DH that you have a more sensitive sense of smell than him and he needs to accommodate that if it’s going to work. It might help if he’s not defensive about having a wash.

That said - if he can smell perfectly well and is just being lazy, then that’s not right. I’m always happier when DH has showered first. Who wants to shag someone whose smell gives them the ick?!

He needs hosing down in the garden.
Offering to do a "gentleman’s wash" ?
Filthy sod.

Can't you incorporate the shower into sexy time?

I think he needs to be showering when he gets home if he stinks, whether he's having sex or not! 🤢

Most people don’t find BO sexy.

he needs to be showering after work if he stinks regardless of sex. No wonder supermarkets reek when you walk past some people.

Give his knob a quick swish about in the penis beaker and job’s a good ‘un.

Had an ex like this would go days without showering but wanted sex including oral, I hated him. So glad I got rid of that dirty bastard so disrespectful

If a man wanted me to shower before having sex with me, my fanny would immediately snap shut like a bulldog clip. To me, that would just be passionless and prissy and depressing. The ‘Eww, germs, bodies are dirty and gross’ attitude is just so alien to me.

For me, sex isn’t something I want to be sanitised. If I fancy someone, I’m not going to be repelled by a bit of sweat from a day’s work - in fact, I’d find it sexy.

I really hope for your sake, OP, that this is made up!

It's not hard to shower (obviously assuming physically capable to do so which he must be if in a manual labour role)! Surely he would want to shower the sweat and smell off once home regardless.

His pushing back on this makes him sound like he would be fine with you just giving in to sex reluctantly, rather than wanting to make you feel actually turned on.