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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel it’s a motherhood penalty… AIBU?

433 replies

Yudl · 13/05/2025 15:31

Recently got a new job in which they offered 95k. Unfortunately they would not be flexible on hours despite the fact that in my current role I work after collecting dd. Instead they said they would pay me until 3:30 which means my pay is effectively cut to under 75k (and only a small pay rise from where I am). I feel annoyed as I can do the hours they need but do need to do a pick up in between. We are expected to work some evenings anyway.

AIBU to feel miffed about this? DH is sadly no longer around to help

OP posts:
reesespieces123 · 13/05/2025 15:37

Assume she is primary so can't make her own way home.

After school club? Rota with another parent - you take both, they collect both?

After school nanny or childminder?

In lots of jobs you can't down tools at 3.30 for an hour or so.

Eraseandrewindcause · 13/05/2025 15:37

I can see what you're disappointed but this is unfortunately the reality for many working parents. For a couple of hours of wrap around care a day, I'd take the pay rise. Congratulations on the job offer.

BIossomtoes · 13/05/2025 15:36

Maybe you could use some of your £95k to pay someone. Like thousands of other parents.

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/05/2025 15:35

Is it a motherhood penalty or is just a standard policy where when you are working, you can't be looking after a child too?

After school club?
Childminder?

Sofiewoo · 13/05/2025 15:35

If you need to do pick up in between then you’ve got young kids at home with you and it’s normal for employers to not be happy with that arrangement.
Mothers, just like fathers are expected to have childcare while they work.
On 95k you can afford to pay after school club.

TheNightingalesStarling · 13/05/2025 15:34

After school club? Other parent?

basketballcricketball · 13/05/2025 15:34

Maybe they want your full attention and worry that when a child is in your care they will rightly be your priority.
Have they explained why

JoyousEagle · 13/05/2025 15:33

How old is your DD? I don’t think they’re unreasonable to say you can’t work while looking after a child at home. I think it’s more that you’ve been lucky with your current role.

ETA: at that salary, can’t she go into an after school club?