To feel it’s a motherhood penalty… AIBU?

I’d be inclined to go back and say ‘It’s sorted. I’ll work full time for 95k thanks v much.’ And I’d just carry on nipping out and picking her up,

Yeah, that'll work.

Sounds more like a single parent tax. If you had a partner, they could perhaps handle. the pick ups.

But as others have suggested, there's always wrap around childcare to explore. I went to my friend's house before and after school as a child whilst both my parents worked. Her granny looked after us and my parents paid her. It was nice.

On a pro-rata of £95k I don't think they'd be short of applicants😆 It would be perfect for my retired DH, let me know if they do want someone, OP!

It's not the 'middle of the workday' if OP is popping out at 3pm to pick up her child.

Personally I find I'm most effective working during the morning which is when I do the deep work that requires deep concentration. Post lunch I'm doing admin or work that doesn't require a huge amount of effort. It's been proven that it's not effective to try and work consistently hard throughout the day but better to do so in bursts. In OP's case, this could be in the morning and perhaps a couple of hours in the evening after she has picked up her DC.

What is this obsession with the strict adherence to working 9am - 6pm and if you work a minute less during those hallowed hours then your are cheating your employer?!

FWIW I earn over £100k and pick up my son from school 2-3 times a week. I have several direct reports, some of whom I know are offline during the working day. They get the job done so I don't see it as any of my concern if they pop out for a couple of hours to go to the gym, school run or whatever.

Crazy times we live in that people are shocked that having a day job means dedicating your day to the job.

It’s nothing to do with you being a woman. You are being very unreasonable. If it were a single Dad I’m sure they would say exactly the same thing to him.

It’s a simple fact when you have children - you either pay for before/after school childcare so that you can work. Or you find a term-time only job 9-3.

It sounds like you were lulled into a false sense of security by your very flexible previous employer. And I think your potential new employer is still more flexible than most!!

At that wage I’d be using some sort of childcare or pickup service. (It’s unclear if dd is old enough to entertain herself while you work a few hours or she needs a childminder or after school care)

Do what the rest of us have to do and get wrap around care till you finish work? On that pay this really is a non issue.
I used to work in wrap around care and people on a hell of a lot less have to pay for before/after school child care.
I can’t imagine there are many jobs you can just pop out for an hour during school pick up. Imagine shop staff all having to stop working to go and pick up their kids.
Get a grip on reality.

Get childcare and work the hours they want.

YABU, You clearly can't work the hours they require if you need to leave to collect your child in the middle of the workday.

Either figure it out so you don't need to do a collection when you should be working or find another job.

Indeed.

I have had people transfer to me from different bits of the same organisation and their previous teams have clearly had very low performance expectations and they often have poor habits like trying to look after their children and work at the same time.

Just because their previous team didn't mind them half arsing their work doesn't mean I have to take the same view

What skills and value is she demonstrating by disappearing for several hours a day to do childcare?

How are they on shaky ground. It sounds like they are being incredibly reasonable. Just because one company doesn't mind a potentially distracted parent working for a few hours doesn't mean all companies should accommodate that.

It’s the nature of work set up by men for men.

Your post smacks of “I had it hard so no woman should have it better than me”.

This is the nature of work. It’s only unique to parents because so many feel they can do flexible hours around their children’s school hours when in reality employers ( quite rightly) don’t want this.
many parents ( me included) managed on a much lower salary using after school clubs, I also didn’t have their Dad around

It suggests those rules are on shaky ground. If other organisations in the sector can make it work, those who refuse to move forward will get left behind.

That they’re offering her reduced hours also puts them on shaky ground. Are they planning to employ someone to work from 3.30 till 6 as well? Good luck with that!

Your child care is your concern. That's the job offer accept or decline. It would be the same If a dad requested to leave early

Not really. We all use what we do in our current role to demonstrate our skills and value to a prospective employer.

The fact her current employer allows it is irrelevant. This is a new job and a new employer and the rules are different.

I try and finish at 3.30 and it’s bloody amazing. Total work life balance.

Personally if you were my report, I’d let you, I do think childcare is still a ‘woman’s Problem’. Not many part -time requests come in from men.

What her current employer allows is irrelevant, though.

Everyone seems to be ignoring that the OP is currently doing this - her current employer allows it. Which suggests not allowing it could be pure stick-in-the-mud-ism.

I have a friend who has always worked around her children, they were brought up not to disturb her while she was working (she’s worked predominantly from home for years, way before Covid). She has reached a very senior position in her organisation doing so. But that organisation is very progressive and has been highly flexible and therefore good for working mothers in particular, for over 20 years. She is regularly staggered at how backwards so many other organisations in our sector are.

Don't ruin your chances by focusing on this one small issue - it is small.

Take the job at £95k with all their conditions.

Get a neighbour to collect your kid and pay them something - or after school care - whatever it takes.

How old is the kid?
It will only be until secondary school.

£95k jobs don't come around all that too often for women.

They've been pretty flexible offering you reduced hours. Many parents don't even have that option and need to pay for childcare.

I think the poster meant can't another parent collect. Which if after-school club isn't an appealing offer seems like a logical next solution.

If you really mean there is NEVER anything you need to do during school run time and your child is old enough to actually not bother you for the remainder of your working day, then they should be flexible. If really popping out for school run means that it's inconvenient for others because you aren't there, and then means that your child will be interrupting you for bits of the rest of the day - then pay for childcare!!