5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

Ha. Some people are a bit wild unfortunately. Always worth checking!

My son is ten, if I feel it’s better to come in the ladies then he does. For example at the cinema the toilets are all down long stairs and I won’t send him alone for that.

I didn't say I'd ask the child. Of course I wouldn't do that. I'd ask the parent. Sorry if I was unclear but it never occurred to me that anyone would think I'd ask the child.

I would have told them to mind their own business. It has been 8 years old for a long time now.

Settle down! At no point have I said I will do anything other than send him, age 7, on his own into the changing room. What I was doing was drawing a comparison between those who say a 10/11 yo can't go for a wee unsupervised, and local swimming pool that bars just turned 7 year olds from getting help to shower and change when they are with an opposite sex parent. NHS say children aren't developmentally ready to shower solo until 6, and some may need support until 9! I highlighted examples of what "not ready" looks like from our experience. Toileting is expected by 4 quite independently, and you really don't expect ever to step in past age of say 6. So picking the cut-off at 7 for showers 8/9/10 for the toilet is very random to me.

100% true but if some person has issues & worried about creeps in men’s room AND disabled toilet is free
seems like the right choice

I know at our leisure centre it’s 8 year olds for changing rooms so I would use same logic. Ignore her - silly woman. What difference does it bloody make - you are in a cubicle

I've already commented that school age year group 7/8 year olds is the appropriate age to NOT be in with mum (unless has disabilities, in which case, use disabled facilities).

I've been in a changing room with a mum and her ds and his friend, who must have been 9/10 ish with my DDs aged approx. 11 and 13. The boys just sat and stared at my DDs, and me, and although I did not blame them for staring (you would at that age), I absolutely blamed the mum and complained once we'd finished changing. It's not appropriate and felt extremely uncomfortable.

No, you mustn't do this because you risk upsetting kids by randomly questioning them. Ask the parent if you must, definitely talk to staff if you have a concern, but don't be harassing kids just because you think they look tall.

Ridiculous to question a 5yr old. My son is 7yrs old and he is still coming in the ladies with me, and will be for the foreseeable.

This is why I am so glad my leisure centre is mixed. 😊

I was answering your previous comment about a 9yo. Obviously a 5yo is welcome in the women’s loo.

I would say max aged 7, especially for things like swimming changing. Not because it bothers me, but my 9 year old daughter felt really uncomfortable when there was a boy in the ladies changing rooms who looked 8/9 years old when she was changing - she has a shower then walks to a changing room with her poncho towel on her. But it also depends on set up, our local pool had ladies, men's, and group changing - the group changing are seperate and large and can be used by anyone on the weekend, so those with a child older than 7 that is not the same gender as their parents, can use that one.

Is he a bit taller than most his age? I wonder if she thought he was older than he is.

During COVID rules post lockdown we had to be post our kids into the pool ready to swim and then collect from a different exit afterwards. Parents weren't allowed in.DS were 5 and 7 at the time so just dried a put and pulled on a onesie or dressing gown. We then went home for showers etc
As parents it is our job to set our boys up for success and help them develop independent changing. It is also our job to ensure that they respect women's boundaries. We currently have a massive issue with boys ans young men not respecting women. Not enforcing boundaries with our boys in female spaces is the start of a slippery slope....

No way would I have sent mine into the toilets by themselves when we were out at the age of 5.
I wouldn't expect anyone else to either.
They're still tiny.

I disagree. Thankfully as he's got older DS has managed to overcome his distress at the noise hand driers make, but if he still couldn't cope with them he'd have to use the disabled toilet and I don't think that would be unreasonable given it would be that or wet himself.

And in response to other posters comments about everyone using the women's toilets - I have never seen a father take his daughter in, and I'm pretty sure I would notice if there was a man in the ladies.

Depends on the child and the toilet imo
My youngest ds is 8 he does tend to go to the men's now and I wait outside but if I was concerned about anything I'd still take him with me

Absolutely fine! I also use disabled toilets, if available and if free, but hate it as have to hurry him up, and stay on the outside to watch for any disabled persons needing it, broadcasting through the door 'you are fine for now' if this is the case.

IMO, he has a disability so he can use the disabled toilet.

However I disagree with the woman and 5 year old boys are okay to be taken in the ladies if there is no other alternative.

If I saw a boy I thought was 9 in the female changing area at my leisure centre I'd be asking how old he was. If he was over 7 I'd be complaining at reception and if his mother wasn't told to remove him I'd complain to management.

5 is absolutely fine. I’d ignore her.

8 is standard, as puberty in boys can start at 9.

I take my 9 year old to the disabled toilets when I can but if they aren't available or are disgusting which isn't unusual then he comes in with me.

Before he became disabled at 8, he did go to the mens alone and generally, I do think 8 is about the right age.

I'm not but if the mother doesn't want to use the disabled toilet for any reason and her child is 5 then she can use the main toilet. She can use whichever toilet she thinks is correct for her child.