5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

I’ve never seen a man in the ladies with a little girl and I don’t agree that they should go in either. They should go to the mens with their children.

The OP says her son is nearly 5. OP perhaps you should had said "he's only 4 and I'm not going to send him uon his own into the men's toilet."

You were unlucky to encounter someone with that opinion, most people wouldn't have an issue with this and would have done the same thing.

My child has just turned 6 and I still take him into the ladies, although he hates it and wants to use the mens, I don't allow him to. It's simple things like if he got locked in for example, I wouldn't be able to just walk into the mens loos, and not the mention worse things that could happen. I'm not sure when I'll allow him to, but I think around 8 is normally the standard?

Thankfully is right. Very OTT on your part.

Keep doing it, the majority of women don’t care same as most of us don’t care about trans being in there either. If you feel self conscious and he doesn’t like the noise could you use ear defenders as then it’s obvious?

Because it's a changing area and the age rules are quite clearly set out on the door on entry. It's never happened thankfully.

Sorry but what threat or even bother is a 4/5 yr old boy in the ladies toilets?
Has the world gone nuts that, a woman would prefer a child to go to the toilet alone in the men’s rather than safely accompany his mum to the ladies? 😳

Jesus. That’s tight.

For me it’s about their safety. I wouldn’t feel safe letting my 5 and 7 year old go into a men’s public toilet on their own. I’m not sure when I will but definitely not yet. They behave, they use the toilet wash their hands and done. If someone has a problem with that then that is on them, I am not putting my children in danger.

I do think it's too old myself honestly

He's not a big strapping lad like some but he doesn't look like a young boy anymore

Sorry, wouldn't be happy with this.

I appreciate it can be uncomfortable for some women and girls but I do think it should be on need. My son is 11 and autistic. He used to come in the ladies with me but we stopped around 2 years ago. I now go in the disabled toilets with him (he has continence issues which means he still needs pull ups so sometimes and I have to help him change them). Unfortunately there has been a handful of times when the disabled toilets have been unavailable and I’ve had to take him in the ladies. He is very sensitive to noise so immediately covers his ears when he enters as he hates the dryers, so I hope that makes it more obvious that he has SEN. I would hate it if this caused anyone to be uncomfortable, but if he can’t get in the disabled toilet and I cannot go into the men’s with him, how is he supposed to go to the toilet (or be changed) otherwise. A disabled 11 year old boy with his mother is no threat to grown women, but I do understand young girls around his age may not like it, so I only do it if we have absolutely no alternative.

Yeah definitely makes a difference. My son is high functioning autistic, he is only 7 but he would be too scared to go in the men’s on his own. I can’t see that changing in a year, so I will continue to take him in with me for now.

It’s fine imo . I till my son until he was 9 ish also autistic so couldn’t be left alone

Of course it’s ok. Good grief.

5 is definitely fine. My boy is 9 and has been using the male toilets now for a couple of years depending on where we are. Sometimes at Services I will take him with me if DH isn't with us but generally he goes by himself and I wait outside. I think I read somewhere 8 is the cut off

I used to bring my son into the ladies with me until he was around 8 or 9. Too many weirdos in the world. Ignore her.

No way would I let my 5 year old in the men’s on their own. Not a chance

I think people should mind their own business and wash their hands

5 is absolutely fine

So you don’t think pre pubescent girls should be entitled to a loo without the presence of their boy classmates. Fine. I disagree.Not sure what you mean by “heteronormative” in this context! Disabled and vulnerable children should of course have access to “disabled”toilets.

the person who challenged you is certifiable - I wouldn’t let my 6 year old into the men’s toilet on their own, let alone a 4 year old. It’s all cubicles so no problems.

Agree with all this, especially the not getting fannies out 😆

Of course it’s ok for a 5 year old. To be honest any age is fine with me (if they were visibly with a parent) as the ladies is all individual cubicles anyway, we’re not getting our fannies out in the handwashing area! Seeing an older boy with his mum I would just assume additional needs.

Singly, I made my boys still come into the ladies until they were roughly 10, but together I allowed them to go in the men’s at about 7&9. I made my youngest (now 11) come into a ladies with me the other day actually as we were in a really not very nice rural public loos by the side of a dual carriageway, and it was 10pm. Didn’t want to risk it (but also there was no one else in the ladies as I quickly checked first). He was livid but there were a few vans parked up and it just didn’t feel that safe.

I am a support worker for young people with learning disabilities and I have taken young men in their 20s into the ladies if the disabled toilet was unavailable/they refused to use it. Much easier than me having to go in the gent's to wait for them. They are far too vulnerable to send in by themselves. Your child, your choice.

Story in local North Wales newspaper, approx 20 years ago, about a ten year old raped in fast food restaurant toilet while parents were at their table, ensured I never allowed my young son to be unaccompanied in public toilets.