Page 17 | 5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

Overthebow · 13/05/2025 09:17

purpleme12 · 13/05/2025 09:01

I would think 5 years old is ok
Does he look older than he is maybe?

My mate's just turned 13 year old boy still goes in the lad women's changing rooms at swimming (in his own cubicle) as he doesn't feel comfortable in the men's on his own yet. He's (high functioning) autistic -if that makes any difference - but I often think about discussions on here about it

I don’t actually think that’s ok. He’s a teenage boy, it’s a lot of girls wouldn’t be comfortable with that regardless of his needs. He should be in the disabled changing instead.

teksquad · 13/05/2025 09:16

That woman is batshit, nobody lets their 5y old boy go into male public toilets on their own. My sons all came with me until about year 5 so up to about 9.

Butchyrestingface · 13/05/2025 09:14

PoppyFleur · 13/05/2025 09:11

I don’t judge by age, I judge by need. There was a teenage boy with profound needs in the ladies toilets with his mum the other day, I had no problems at all with this. The disabled loo was busy, the boy needed the loo and was a vulnerable child being aided by his mum. Parents with children who have special needs have enough daily challenges, I hope to never be the type of person that forgets my humanity.

I wouldn’t have any objection to this either. But I do wonder why a woman wouldn’t take her teenage son into the men’s in this instance.

Men take their daughters into the women’s facilities.

Is it ‘cos then men’s toilets are a piss-infested nightmare?

Away2000 · 13/05/2025 09:14

There’s no way I’d let a 5 year old go into the men’s toilets alone.

Overthebow · 13/05/2025 09:13

5 is fine to be in the ladies. It’s usually 8 as the cut off.

Mandylovescandy · 13/05/2025 09:12

purpleme12 · 13/05/2025 09:01

I would think 5 years old is ok
Does he look older than he is maybe?

My mate's just turned 13 year old boy still goes in the lad women's changing rooms at swimming (in his own cubicle) as he doesn't feel comfortable in the men's on his own yet. He's (high functioning) autistic -if that makes any difference - but I often think about discussions on here about it

Similar here. Have an autistic 9 year old (high functioning or I think his official diagnosis is ASD without learning disabilities) and no chance he would go either to a toilet or get changed at swimming pool without me so it's ladies/disabled for us though I do feel bad as signs often say over 8 should use their own changing room and wonder if he will ever manage this

PoppyFleur · 13/05/2025 09:11

I don’t judge by age, I judge by need. There was a teenage boy with profound needs in the ladies toilets with his mum the other day, I had no problems at all with this. The disabled loo was busy, the boy needed the loo and was a vulnerable child being aided by his mum. Parents with children who have special needs have enough daily challenges, I hope to never be the type of person that forgets my humanity.

StandFirm · 13/05/2025 09:06

The woman who complained is a complete moron. A 5-year-old boy is not a threat to her however strangers, grown men, in the other bathroom without supervision are a real threat to the little boy. It's a no-brainer. OP should always put her child's safety first.

Okshacky · 13/05/2025 09:06

She’s an idiot. Toilets are problematic if you are caring for someone of the opposite sex. I used the women’s toilets till ds was about 10 but he is very small, and has a younger sister so a bit of a logistical nightmare. Once older we use the disabled, but I can’t use the toilet at all out and about as he opens the door and can’t be left outside to wait. There is no provision for people in my situation, so that sucks.

monkeysox · 13/05/2025 09:05

LoveFridaynight · 13/05/2025 08:52

At what age would people feel uncomfortable to have a child of the opposite sex in the "wrong" toilet?
I was told off yesterday for taking my nearly 5 year old son in to the ladies. A woman in there said he should use the men's. No-one has ever said anything like this to me before. I could understand if he was a teenager or something but a young child?
Really? On his own? At 5? Not that he could anyway as he's autistic and not toilet trained so I needed to change his nappy.
I thought afterwards I should have used the disabled toilet but I try to avoid that incase someone who can only use the disabled toilet comes along. I think I will just do this in future though.
But regardless of disability I don't think children under the age of 9 should be in the toilet on their own.
What are your thoughts on the age a child should be using the "right" toilet?

Depending on the child 8 to 10. Our swimming lessons used to state 8 years old for using "correct" changing.

Butchyrestingface · 13/05/2025 09:04

weareallcats · 13/05/2025 09:04

Bullshit.

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I am showing solidarity with the totally believable OP, you cynics.

TwelveBlueSocks · 13/05/2025 09:04

I have a SEND teen boy and we use the disabled one. He can't manage the hand dryers. Nobody has ever had a problem with it, so that is an option.

weareallcats · 13/05/2025 09:04

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Bullshit.

Unicorntearsofgin · 13/05/2025 09:04

5 is fine. Around 7 is the age here they start going alone. However if you need to change nappies it might be better to use the disabled for space and privacy.

MoveYourSelfDearie · 13/05/2025 09:03

If a child has autism which results in them not yet being potty trained at an age when a neurotypical would be, I think that's sufficient justification to use a disabled toilet. Isn't it?

Obviously a 5 year old is fine in the ladies, but I'm saying don't feel that you shouldn't use disabled facilities if you want or need to

ForRealCat · 13/05/2025 09:03

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Sure they did.

Butchyrestingface · 13/05/2025 09:02

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GlidingSquirrels · 13/05/2025 09:02

I wouldn't send my 7 year old boy in there alone. My daughter got stuck in a cubicle at 9 and was scared whilst waiting for me to get a coin even with me knowing straight away. That's aside from the risk of who is in there at the urinals. At 5 it's completely inappropriate.
I'd say about 10.

jeaux90 · 13/05/2025 09:01

I think most sensible people think 8 is about the right age, possible your son is quite tall? Maybe why she was being a bit of a dick.

huuskymam · 13/05/2025 09:01

Really, she thinks a 5 year old going into the mens alone is ok. Not a chance in hell. I know 8 is the standard age but personally I'd have no issue with an 8 or 9 year old with their mum in the ladies. Though at that age my boys would have been mortified if I tried to bring them in with me.

purpleme12 · 13/05/2025 09:01

I would think 5 years old is ok
Does he look older than he is maybe?

My mate's just turned 13 year old boy still goes in the lad women's changing rooms at swimming (in his own cubicle) as he doesn't feel comfortable in the men's on his own yet. He's (high functioning) autistic -if that makes any difference - but I often think about discussions on here about it

weareallcats · 13/05/2025 09:00

Absolutely fine to take a 5 year old boy into the ladies! I agree that 8 is the official cut off, but I still used to send my sons together (luckily there were two of them so I had this option).

Mareleine · 13/05/2025 09:00

Of course it's fine to have your 5 year old son in the ladies' toilets.

passmeaglass · 13/05/2025 08:59

I took DS swimming yesterday and there was a notice on the door saying under 7s were ok to be in the ladies changing room. I think 5 is fine but I don’t think you should be put off using disabled toilets. I know I’ve used disabled before either because it’s where the bay changing is or because there was no baby changing and needed the space to change DS.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 13/05/2025 08:59

Yes, it’s fine.