5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

5 is completely fine.
With my 6 year old it depends where we are - he does prefer going into the men's and if alone and a small toilet then I let him on the basis I've seen nobody is in it and I stand outside the door.

Anywhere busy or unfamiliar and he comes in with me

I think at 5 you're perfectly ok to take him in. I would have.

please explain to me what disabilities are not covered by my caveat? of 'perfectly able bodied, not needing supervision or help'
that covers every disability physical, emotional and mental.

A 'normal' non disabled child and parent shouldn't be in the disabled loo because the parent isn't comfortable letting them go potty without them when they're over 8

@LoveFridaynight this

all of the business is conducted in a cubicle anyway

I do feel that’s an (another) issue that needs to be addressed though, rather than women being expected to tolerate secondary school aged males in their facilities because the men’s are rank:

I also hate unisex toilets but am in favour of them as an additional third space. So often now they seem to be used as a replacement though.

Why? As all the signs say, not all disabilities are visible (or to do with toileting). There could be a myriad of reasons why someone could access the disabled toilet but not the standard ones. Are their disabilities not good enough for you?

shes a stupid woman. Of course you can’t send your 5 year old into the men’s toilet alone.

Of course a 5 year old little boy is fine in the ladies with his mum.

I wouldn't take my 7 year old boy in any more and he goes in the men's changing room at the pool as well (there is a male attendant in there).

But 5 is well within the bounds of acceptable and I don't think you'd find many women who wouldn't understand that.

Yup, 13 Yr old boy here- autism & epilepsy so we use the disabled toilet. That's what they're for.

My son is neurotypical but very tall for his age so looked 8 or 9 at 6 which was harder. About 8 he started going to the mens by himself.

I honestly think it would be because of this, men's toilets are disgusting. I hate unisex toilets for this reason.

I wouldn’t think twice about a five year old in the lady’s.

I detected gender ideology in the OP and responded in kind.

Yup, the general consensus seems to be under 8, but I continued to older than this with my small autistic son. It was utterly brutal. He was so anxious about leaving my side, yet I didn’t feel I could continue taking him in the ladies after a certain point. Some places he will now go on his own but some things we have had to stop doing. There are several places that have separate disabled changing rooms, but then you have to use the lockers in either the men’s or women’s changing, and if you can’t leave a child to go to the lockers or take them with you you’ve got a problem. Yes, I’m sure we could ask for help in some places, but we need calm predictability and minimal waiting around, and that’s never achievable as soon as you start asking for things, so we don’t go. It is a real shame. We recently tried a swimming pool with separate changing rooms several times and I’d came out the women’s changing to find him standing, dripping wet, with ear defenders on in reception because the men’s was too noisy. He can regulate with me there but not without me there.

Ignore that interfering woman it's your child and no way should a 5 year old go in the men's toilets on their own!!
I think my ds was about 9/10 before I allowed him in the men's toilets and I waited outside the door.. I always felt very anxious you do see some very creepy men in and out of the men's toilets 🤣
My ds had speech difficulties as a child and was very vulnerable but I would be if been the same either way.. do not let your 5 year old go in a men's toilets alone you know best ignore that woman

8/9 is fine, older if they're disabled and need support. My DS is significantly affected by autism, so came in with me until he was 12, he was clearly disabled, but not willing to have me in the cubicle with me, so i'd sit outside and talk to him.

As a wheelchair user If they're perfectly able bodied, and don't need help to pee, or supervision, the disabled toilet is not an acceptable alternative.

Your comment, sarcasm or not, was completely unnecessary and goading. No need to put the gender ideology aspect on it at all.

I’d say 12
as predators hang around in male toilets

Not to derail, but why can't he used the disabled?

The cut off is when they’re old enough to have the nous to understand potential danger, and scream/run if they need to.

5 is fine

7 is getting a bit too old

A shame that things have reached such a pass apparently only one person was able to detect the EXTREME SARCASM in my post.

Still, lesson learned. emoji overload all the way in future.

A 5 year old should definitely be using the toilet of whichever parent they're with. I'd agree with others that 8 is about right for going on their own bits it depends on the child and the place. For example mine would use their own sex toilets at our David Lloyd club or small local restaurants from 5 or 6, but accompany me or DH into the toilets at motorway services until 8 or 9.

Yeah I don't think this is appropriate sorry.
There are other options that don't involve just saying fuck you to all women at the expense of one male -the disabled facility, changing at home, only going swimming when a male friend or family member can go with him, going to a pool with village style changing even if it means being a bit further away....

It doesn't matter if he's in a cubicle, he still has to walk through the rest of the female changing room.

8 has been the guideline most places for a reason. I'd say about ten should be a hard cut off.

Of course it's fine. Secondary age is the cut off.