5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

No way would I let my 5 year old son go into men’s loos on his own. My 8 year old son has started to, although I’m still a bit hesitant depending where we are - but he got uncomfortable going into the ladies so that’s fine.

My husband used to go into ladies loos when the kids were babies to change them if that’s where the change facilities were and he was on his own. He always used to shout in first and tell people what he was doing and no one ever had an issue with it.

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if a primary school aged boy was in the ladies with his mum.

Tbh, I wouldn’t care if a teenage boy was in the ladies with his mum. I would assume that he had additional needs that were none of my business.

Five is fine.

You are then ignoring the needs of that teenage boy….disabled and learning disabled children ,(depending on their particular conditions ) can also go through puberty, develop secondary sexual characteristics, can have sexual desires and needs , it is wrong to infantilise a disabled teenager and we must also respect THEIR privacy hence why we have disabled / accessible facilities .

There is no way in hell I would let a 5 y.o. go to a men's toilet on his own a nd I certainly won't go to a men's toilet accompanying him. She was beyond ridiculous. What a twat!

If your child is autistic, you can use a disabled toilet. If there isn't one available, stick to women's. If another idiot questions you again, tell her to complain to management.

Seriously.....

What about the naked women and girls he sees on the way to the cubicle, who don't want a teenage boy viewing them, does their comfort not matter to your friend?

Any child over the age of 8 needs to use the facilities for their own sex. If they aren't able because of physical or neurological disabilities, they should use the disabled facilities with their parent, even if it means waiting. That's what they are provided for.

No one is an exception to the rule, it's not about the child/teen, it's about the privacy of those who the facility is intended for.

A 5 year old is clearly fine, at 6 I'm starting to prepare ds to use toilets alone, he'll come in with me but I won't assist in any way so he gets used to locking/opening cubicles, using soap pumps/ automatic taps etc.

The woman's a moron! I would have told her so as well, but I am at the age now where I don't care 🤣

Sorry I know you didn’t. The first part was in regards to your post, the 2nd wasn’t.

I don’t know what age tbh, I know we are getting to it. He is becoming more reluctant to come into the ladies now so sometimes we use the disabled toilet. I don’t like doing that though, especially if there’s only one. I will judge it as I need to I suppose. He’s vulnerable though and the thought of sending him alone makes me feel ill.

Women use cubicles and are rarely if ever showing any nudity. In the men’s with urinals it’s not as discreet. And yes they are gross according to my oh and my son still wouldn’t stand to go so my oh doesn’t even like taking him into them.

I have saw men standing outside the ladies and sending daughters in, but never in with them. I don’t have daughters so I don’t know what we would have done tbh. It probably is more difficult in those circumstances. But then women don’t (as a general rule) pose as much risk to children as men do.

Very, VERY.

As I say though, lesson learned. I will litter any such posts with a litany of in future. Or maybe just avoid wholesale. In the words of Lex Luther, you gave them eyes, Lord. But they do not see.

Of course it’s okay. Tell anyone who says otherwise to shush.

The guidance is under 8s isn't it. So that woman was

a) completely wrong
b) never had kids / or didn't have a boy
c) giving a completely OTT reaction to an innocent & harmless 5 year old child

If someone had said this to me, I'd come straight back at them with the guidance, it's always in my mind when I take my 5 year old into the ladies loos.

I don't know what you mean by 'reporting on a TERF'. But I suspect you didn't understand my meaning. I really can't elaborate as troll hunting isn't allowed on here.

I agree though. Gender Critical people aren't idiots. We are very reasonable people (I am, anyway).

@Butchyrestingface Seems a lot of people are slow on the uptake this morning.

I took all of mine into the ladies toilets until they were at least 8 or 9 then used to stand outside of a men’s public toilet talking loudly to them for another year or two. Because in the early 80’s when mine were little there was a horrendous sickening story of something that happened to a young boy who went into a men’s public toilet. Don’t google it

So you think OP was reporting on a TERF? How bizarre. Terfs aren’t idiots. The trouble is, so many people are.
Gender critical women fought for safeguarding the vulnerable! And that would be not allowing a child to go to the gents alone and to keep Ladies free of adult males. Who unfortunately, statistically, are the sexual risk.

Careful.

I got accused of being a TRA for that kind of #wrongthink cynicism.

''I am simply pondering the question about why it's ALWAYS women who have to accommodate males in their facilities.''

In this case its mothers with their young/unborn children, so the issue is should they have to create yet more separate facilities, just because some adult men want to be in there with all of us?

8 years is the general rule, I do find this difficult though as my 8 year old is autistic & doesn’t feel comfortable going into the men’s alone, but I also don’t want to make girls uncomfortable in the ladies!

When I am out with my friends eight-year-old who is autistic, I bring him with me into the ladies if I am not changing him. If I am changing him, I do bring him to the disabled toilet but don’t use the toilet in the disabled toilet for myself after a bad experience where he opened the bathroom door and legged it in a very public space. At least in the ladies toilet cubicle, I can keep my foot against the door.

I agree. But if there are private changing cubicles he’d come with me.

I don't think you understand what I am saying despite the fact I've repeated it several times and (think) I've been clear.

I am not in favour of men coming into the women's toilets with their daughter. But I acknowledge it is something that happens. I would strongly prefer it didn't.

I am simply pondering the question about why it's ALWAYS women who have to accommodate males in their facilities.

MN literally abounds with tales of men coming into women's facilities with their daughters and saying they don't want to take them into the male toilets.

But women don't take their sons into the men's. So it's always WOMEN who have to tolerate male presence in their facilities on the grounds of "well, he's only 10" or "he's 15 but he's disabled").

Really just an observation that the same never happens in reverse.

Sure Jan.

Another thread about things that didn’t happen, it’s getting ludicrous now 😂😂

Your friend should speak to the pool to find an alternative changing space or she should not take him swimming. Regardless of the autism, her son's requirement for a changing space doesn't trump the privacy and dignity of girls and women using the space. A teenage boy, regardless of disability does not belong in the women's changing rooms.

I take my son into the women’s’ toilet if he needs to go. I’m not sending him alone into a place where he can see grown men standing at urinals. If another women says something then I’d either wait outside til she’s finished or I’d smile and take him into the cubicle.