5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

I don't care who's next to me in a unisex space but I don't want to share female changing facilities with upper primary aged boys and I doubt the girls want to either.

Of course it's a disability
It is however a massive spectrum .

I have a two year old son and just cant imagine sending him in to the men's on his own at 5, fully potty trained or not. He's statistically safer in the ladies with mum and the ladies in the women's restroom aren't statistically in danger from a male child accompanied by mum.

5 is fine and equally using the disabled is fine. I’m not sure if autism is classed as a disability but your son has a definite need. How do you change his nappy in a tiny cubicle anyway?

Tbh I really think boys should be allowed in with their mums while in primary school. A child is less safe in the men's alone than women are unsafe with a male child in the ladies accompanying his parent.

5 is fine.
I would say up to Year 3 at school, so 7 and older should be in their own gender (unless they have SN of course and need help).

Around 8, no sensible parent would send a 5 year old into the men’s toilets alone.

8 is the cut off.
But I will bring my 11 gear old in with me if it looks really dodgy, like public loos in a park.

No it isn't.

Agreed. It's not OK to use the female facilities.
It's under 7s for boys in our leisure centre. Over 7 and it's the family room or the mens.

There have been a lot of threads on this recently - think people are getting twitchy about it!

The answer is 'typically' around 7-8 but my son refused earlier than that. However, in your situation you needed to be with him anyway so it's a totally moot point. You go wherever you are comfortable and feel free to say anything you like to anyone challenging you - you have plenty else to be dealing with and they can just cope with a 1 minute interaction they don't enjoy.

8 is usual. She was being ridiculous.

one of our best friends is a social worker and she wouldn't let her son go into public loos on his own until he was the best part of 12 or so due to her knowledge of paedophiles in the area.

Whoever made an issue out of a 5 yr old going into the ladies is a real dick

You should have told her to fuck off. This shouldn't even be up for discussion. He's a little boy for God's sake. You take your boy where you feel its comfortable and safe.

You did nothing wrong. 8 is the usual age kids are expected to use the correct toilets and changing facilities. If you are both comfortable with him using the men's before then that's fine - it might depend on the location of the toilets and how clean and busy you expect them to be.

ignore her, i take my 7 year old boy in with me. No chance I'd let him go to the men's on his own!

Well.he's five and disabled there is no.way at that age and the fact he's vulnerable due to His disabilities I would have let my son (also autistic,) go.to.the men's toilet on his own.

At 5, to be honest, I think you should be changing his nappy in the disabled toilet for his privacy and dignity rather than in an open space in the ladies.

Otherwise, I think 8 is a reasonable cut of for loos and changing rooms. I don't think anyone thinks they're going to "do" anything, but they do start staring and it gets very uncomfortable. My daughters have complained about little boys staring at them in the family changing area at the gym (daughters are both under 10 and the boys would be under 10 too).

Please don’t use the disabled WCs as a baby change if it isn’t designated as a baby change. If you are somewhere there is no space to change your baby (ladies usually WCs have plenty of room) then talk to whoever runs the place and ask where you should go. Using a disabled WC because you need the space is not ok. There are too few of these WCs already and if it isn’t designated a baby change, that means there is nowhere to put a stinky nappy so these toilets become wholly unpleasant places to be when the waste paper bin is overflowing with dirty nappies.

Disabled people fought hard for these spaces, please respect that and don’t use them unless you or your child is disabled.

I can think of far more dangers to an unsupervised 5 year old in the men’s toilet than I can to women having to share a toilet with a 5 year old! People are fucking nuts, she’d have been getting a mouthful from me.

What was this woman afraid the child would see? Her wash and dry her hands?

A 5 years should could not use mens toilet alone unless in familiar place. Most places have 8's rule so no child of 8 in opposite sex toilets/changing rooms. This seems about right to me. Some 7 year olds will look about 10 though so difficult. In changing rooms where young girls have communal changing they wouldn't want boys much.older than 5 in with them watching them change.

What grown adult would make a parent feel uncomfortable about bringing their child into the toilet. This is definitely a her problem rather than a you problem. Ignore.

Also, it's not like the child would see anything. I'd think this would be more a complaint from men where they have urinals, but it wouldn't stop my husband taking our 4 year old daughter in, what else is he supposed to do? Not take her out alone. Or walk into the women's with with her?

Well my ds is 7 and I still take him into the ladies toilets, although he’s gradually starting to use the men’s when he’s with his 9 year old male cousin. 5 years old is far too young to ban him from the ladies- that woman was being ridiculous.

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