5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

I've seen 7 in gym rules but then there's a family room available as an alternative.

No way in hell would I let a 5 year old go into a men’s room by himself. She was an idiot.

The woman was being ridiculous. I wouldn't want a 5 year old to go into the men's toilet alone.
What are you supposed to do with him if he wants a wee and you see out alone with him?

ignore her she’s a stupid cow.

I let my son start going to the men’s toilet on his own when he was about 10.

Ignore the crazy woman!!!

For a ladies loo perhaps but upper primary aged girls would not be comfortable in a changing room at a pool with their make classmates.
Girls right to privacy is no less important than your concerns about a boys age 8 or 9.
I have two DS. We drive to the next town to swim as they have family changing room.
For public loos I stand outside and tell them to call if they get locked in.

Absolutely fine and expected for a 5 year old to be in the toilet with a parent regardless of gender. I don’t know why anyone would be so concerned to say anything to someone else about who is using a public toilet. We all just get in and get out and mind our own business surely? I’d need to see something extreme to bother to say to someone like older children looking under cubicles or something

A 5 year old can’t be expected to go into the mens on their own
If you ( or they ) feel uncomfortable sending your male child ( when they are older) into the mens on their own you should use
communal facilities
ie accessible toilets
ie family toilets

They are there to facilitate anyone that needs them. They are enclosed

before anyone comes back with ‘no they are for disabled people only’. No. They are Not now and Never have been. They are accessible only and for all who need them for whatever reason.

I've only been letting DS 11 use the men's alone for about 18 months. He's small, finely built and has long blonde hair mind you so we possibly got away with it for a bit longer than is standard.

I still hate it when he's in the gents alone though - partly because of how he looks.

To add I think past 8 if a child is opposite sex to their adult and really needs help to use a toilet then they should use the disabled toilet. This in my opinion is enough of an impact on their life to have a right to the disabled toilet. Past 8 they should not be in the wrong sex toilets as it impacts the rights of others. Does not matter if most of us wouldn’t mind the point is we can’t consent for others and it’s the law

As others have said, the cut off is about 8. However if you need to change his nappy, is there even room in the ladies to do this? Surely the disabled toilet would be the best bet here?

How ridiculous of her. Generally up to age 9 ish is considered the socially acceptable age in the UK to continue to go into the ladies with a female parent/caregiver (although I suspect if you have a very tall 7 or 8 year old you might get some looks, though I’ve never heard any comments). But obviously many boys may insist themselves on using the gents much younger, and if there’s no male caregiver to go in with them then that is up to the female caregiver as to whether they think the boy is mature enough yet.

Basically afaik boys should be with an accompanying female adult and look pre- pubescent to be in female changing rooms or toilets. It must be difficult with older looking SN boys though, if there’s no male parent/caregiver to help 😢.

Thinking they shouldn’t be in there, let alone commenting on a 5 year old would be ridiculous, I’m sorry it happened to you OP.

Use the disabled loo.
As they now say not all disabilities are visible.
I still do this with my 10 year old ASD Grandson.
He hates the noisy hand dryers and can set him off.

I take my son in with me. He’s a flight risk! He’s 5!
The woman telling you he’s not allowed is full on out of order!!

8 they can go alone at 8 is the usual. I have an autistic son so was always aware of this. I never had a comment but from age 6ish I would get looks.

when he reached 8 we switched to the disabled toilet and I’ve had a couple comments about how I should not be using it. Possibly because I usually have my toddler with us too so looks like I’m just using the toilet for convenience. I wish people would consider that but all disabilities are visible my son already is mortified when he’s soiled and aware he’s different by needing me to go to the toilet with him to then come out and have someone saying we shouldn’t be in there has reduced him to tears on the way home more than once

Mine were all in the school year 7/8 yrs. It felt right for both my ds and dds.

It wouldn't both me at all if a son was with their mother in the ladies. There would obviously be a reason for this. Everyone has there own cubicle so why would it matter at all.

You are eminently sensible. The complainant is a fruitcake.

Wouldn’t she be dealing with her period in a locked cubicle?

To be honest I wouldn’t care if a woman brought her boy into the ladies toilets at age 11! Your child, your decision. And anyway, what is a little boy going to do to me when I am locked in a cubicle or washing my hands?

I’m shocked that a woman thought a 5 year old should be in the male toilets alone. Mine is 4 and he has been in the male loos with his dad but he struggles to reach the urinal so if he went into the male loos alone there’d be wee all over the floor and he’d get quite distressed

Strange how this precise scenario was discussed in detail on 'Woman's Hour' just yesterday.

I think this is fair enough being that he has autism and, is in his own cubical.

This. In most primary schools KS1 have shared toilets and KS2 have gendered ones. Many girls would not want to go in the toilets if they knew boys were in there. Why would a girl who is perhaps having periods want to be in the same space as her 11 year old male classmate.

Yes, ds is 8 next mo and just about happy to go off on his own if with me. Obviously if with DH, no question.
He would still come with me somewhere busy / dangerous though