5 year old in the ladies. Is it okay?

FGS, a 5 year old is fine. Please ignore any such silliness in future.,

8 is about the max.

Exactly, as long as they are below the age where children start going through puberty (so 8 or under) then it's fine I think.

This

No no way would i have let my 5 yr old in the mens on his own if dad wasn’t there no way.my youngest came in to the ladies until T least 8/9.too scared to let him be in there on his own.stuff what people say or think please do what is right for you.xx

Especially that young, nursery and reception. There's no real need for privacy from children of those ages.

“They” are ridiculous then. The sex of the sexually mature adult is the issue not prepubescent children.

It was me who suggested it wasn’t logical to be less concerned about a man with his daughter than a boy with his mum. Nothing about a lone man.
They have said a dad with his daughter can go in there but an 8 year old boy can’t with his mum. Makes no sense to me.

I’m sorry? What are you talking about? You suggested that it wasn’t logical to be less concerned about a man with his daughter than a man by himself in a female space. My response was to explain that a man with his daughter US less of a threat than a lone man. He shouldn’t be there at all obviously but women are (through necessity) extremely good at assessing risk. Are you male? This is fairly obvious stuff to the prey, but perhaps not to the predator.

And you think a boy with is mum is going to be violent or something?

Isn’t it more that a man with his daughter is less likely to be violent and unlikely to rape you?

I haven’t much of a clue about bringing up children as I’ve never had any. But I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at seeing a 5 year old boy (or one even older) in the ladies toilets with his mum. You can’t possibly let a small boy like that go into a male public toilet on his own. I believe the vast majority of people in this world are good but we all know there are bad people living among us and you can’t be too careful.

Exactly, he can protect her in the men's room where he belongs not enter the ladies as an adult.

I’ve never seen this either, but apparently it is a thing. I reckon some of the women who are angry about boys will bizarrely be ok about a man being in there because the man is seen as protecting his daughter. But he’s a grown arsed man in female space, no matter how they want to frame it.

At that age you need to use disabled facilities of take the person you are caring for into their appropriate facilities. In my mind I think this applies from age 10 or so. If my son isn't yet independent by then that's the Stacey I'd expect to take. As much as it will make life trickier it also doesn't mean I can take a teenage boy into a teenage girl's safe space.

My 7 yr old has suspected ADHD/high functioning autism/ seizure damage from previous prolonged seizures. He seems entirely ordinary if he's emotionally regulated and well managed. He can't go in a toilet alone. He can't wipe, struggles physically to do it but also it's a complete sensory nightmare for him. He'll hold and hold until we get home but has caused impaction doing it before. He also can't be left outside the toilet while I take my 3 yr old daughter to the toilet or go myself (but honestly I just hold it like a camel unless I'm unwell) he's also 135cm tall which is about the height of an average 10 yr old and very broad shouldered.

I try where possible to use the disabled toilets (he receives child disability payment, he is disabled despite not having a concrete diagnosis as yet and presenting as a clever and talkative child at times) but if one of them is absolutely bursting and it's in use I take the 3 of us into the ladies and brazen it out. It's not ideal but I'm also not about to have one of them poop themselves because of it. I work constantly on his independence, we currently have a sticker chart for wiping with rewards for managing 1, 3 and fully wiped wipes and he is trying so hard but we're not there yet.

I would have told her where to shove it. You don't send a 5 year old into men's toilets unsupervised. My DS who is 5 will be coming with me until I think he is old enough and confident enough. My other DS 10 has been going on his own since he was about 7/8. Carry on as you OP and if anyone says anything again. Remind them that he is only 5 years old and give them the death stare. I wish she had said it to me I would have tore her a new arsehole.

Take him to the disabled toilets which are provided for disabled people. Teaching him to go into the ladies is a total disaster for a learning disabled adult male and no one working with these vulnerable people should be oblivious to that.

Reading all her posts, inc the men refusing to use the disabled. Or them not being available
What would you suggest she does?

Sorry- that wasn’t meant to be in reply to you! I definitely think it’s absolutely fine for boys to be in the women’s until they are 8 and she was being an idiot to challenge you. There are always posters talking about 11/12 year olds in the women’s-it’s them I gave an issue with!

I would be furious if my sons care worker was taking him into the ladies at 20, it’s totally unacceptable and really poor care.

"Men bring their little girls into the women’s toilets."

I've never seen this, small children go into the one of the adult's sex.

I send my eight-year-old to the men’s solo, and always feel a little nervous about that. But he’s tall, so I know people would be funny about him being in the ladies’.

I wouldn’t send a child ANY younger!

The woman was wrong.

Really? Can I ask why? They have severe learning disabilities and are more like children than 20 year olds. I, on the other hand, am a 50+ year old woman who might actually scare some of the men using the urinals!

Absolutely fine at that age. Tell her to mind her own business.