Evil MIL

Mine will put my kids in danger and laugh when I object. Spouts racism and sexism in front of the kids. Mocks our home and belongings. Is more horrible each time we see her but gets angry when we pull back. My husband gets very down about it but feels the need to please her.

How does this evilness manifest itself op

Stop taking her out on day trips, when she comes to yours, welcome her, make her a drink and then go in another room, let your H entertain her. Life is too short for bullshit

And just to add I adore my MIL. I’ve posted as much on multiple threads over the years. She’s as mad as a brush and would drive you scatty sometimes with mad requests (that she always rings me and not her only son for lol) but she has a heart of gold and is the best grandmother too.

Im always relieved that I lucked out in the way that I did when I ended up with my DH and be default his family when I see posts like this

I think this is an extremely valid point. My MIL was also a horrid DM;DW and Dsil.

Mine hasn’t been the easiest to get along with. People who don’t know her very well think she’s wonderful. She gives you apple tart and pavlova and cups of tea and there’s plenty of banter. But she treats her family like shit and that includes me. She has a revisionist view of history and gaslights everyone left, right and centre. ‘But I was only saying ..’ is her stock phrase after she starts absolute carnage. At one point 3 of her 5 children were having nothing to do with her and she was, of course, the victim. I remember years ago a priest was visiting. He was there as a friend rather than on ‘official business’😅 Needless to say, she made a right fuss of him. I was pacing about in the kitchen trying to settle DS1 and he came in and grabbed me by the arm and said ‘That woman is a saint. A saint I tell ye’. It was like a scene from Father Ted. I almost laughed, but very quickly realised he was deadly serious. She’s the complete bloody opposite of a saint. But it just goes to show how some people can play nice or nasty at will.

I am in the midst of separating from my husband of almost 8 years and I won't miss my MIL. She's not that bad, I know she doesn't like me though. It doesn't seem really personal though, she's rude to a lot of people, including wait staff, she's an absolute horror to them!

I did dodge a bullet when I was younger, an ex boyfriend's mother was horrible to me. I was taking her golden child away from her. I am still on fairly amicable terms with that ex who is now married and I hope she's nicer to his wife than she was to me.

My ‘evil’ MIL is nearly 50s so not necessarily true

In my experience, very few people are ‘evil’, yet so many MILs are alleged to be. It’s all a bit black and white.

Mine is fine. Not particularly interested in me, and I have no idea if she particularly likes me, but that’s not something I care about. We have a civil, fairly surface relationship. She’s not a very warm person, but she raised my DH and is a decent DGP to DC, so all’s well.

My MIL definitely comes across as evil. She cuts off and bullies people one at a time. Including her children. Then she brings them back in to the fold by love bombing them before starting on the next. She does it so that they fall out with her I think. That way she can play the victim.

She lies about people to make herself look like a martyr. If she does something nice for you, it’s probably so she can tell other people how you take advantage of her. Three of her adult children don’t see her. One is still technically a child and the other is the second youngest so has only been targeted once so far, and she still lives with her.

She truly doesn’t seem to have any feelings, but she is so damaging to her adult children, who still just want their mum to love them, my DP prefers to be LC over NC because they feel sad to not have her in their lives. I find her to be an emotional vampire but she doesn’t get to me, just feel sorry for her children

Three sides 😄 DIL's side, MIL's side and the truth being somewhere in the middle, along with the poor bloke who is the husband of one and the beloved son of the other. 🤐

That comment really doesn’t make any sense

I honestly didn't think my MIL was that bad until I was pregnant/gave birth. The way she speaks and talks to me in my own house about my own child is infuriating. It's always when DH isn't there and when I let him know what happened or ask him to have a word it's always that I'm overreacting or oversensitive

If you read on further, you'll see I've said exactly that. MILs/DILs/SILs....whoever! It's the "woe is me!" SM posts that usually indicates to whom the blame should lie.

When I read these stories I'm so glad for my late dmil, dh and I used to joke that if we split up my dm would take his side and dmil mine. She had the mil from hell(nobody liked her not even my fil) and told me that if she started acting like that to pull her upon it😀

Do you not understand that just perhaps, there could be both twat MILs and twat DILs out there? Do you not think that there might be tiny chance of that? Rather than only twat DILs because that’s what you have allegedly experienced?

Sit tight for this: sometimes people are twats. I know, right?!

Yep. When my dch were old enough, they started to challenge some of the nasty things MIL said to me. That shut her up!

You must be a slattern for sure!

Sorry about your partner, but good riddance to your MIL from hell.

if your son and his wife have to start talking about "boundaries", let me break it to you: you have already gone way too far.

It sounds like you are a MIL, you had your life, time to let your kids live their own? Surely happy and independent children is the best a parent can wish for?
Get a hobby and a job if it's that hard to let go.

Mine isn’t speaking to me because her son cheated on me and then went AWOL for a month 🤣

So sorry @FancyCatSlave It's true we marry the whole family not just the man. Hope you get some lovely new people in your life.