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Original poster

Would you leave an almost 13 year old home alone… until 10pm?

103 replies

WizardofCoz · 12/05/2025 20:55

Hi folks,
I always pay a babysitter (neighbour) to babysit for my almost 13 year old child.
A friend has offered me a ticket to an event I really want to go to - babysitter can’t do that eve, child is adamant they will be fine.
I’ll happily leave them alone for a few hours but has never been later than 8pm, would be home around 10pm for this one.
No other babysitter options & it’s a school night so no sleepover options.
We know all our neighbours & child feels very safe in our flat (v secure block)
WWYD?

OP posts:
AlmostSummer25 · 13/05/2025 00:27

WizardofCoz · 12/05/2025 22:53

Thanks for all your replies! Wow a mixed bag.
Child is pretty sensible, I do think would be ok, will probably love eating snacks/staring at screens - there are at least 4 neighbours in our block that we know v well. I’m still a bit torn though…

I think as long as she's happy to do it, that it's fine in your circumstances.

BUT as you are so conflicted are you even going to enjoy the concert?

would she be happy to go to one of the other neighbours?

GravyBoatWars · 13/05/2025 00:13

Absolutely as long as the child is comfortable and you think they're ready.

We have a set of neighbors that we trade "on-call" stretches with for our pre-teens and teens at home alone. Can you check with one of the ones you know best and find out if they plan to be around that evening and would be ok with you making sure your DS has their number and knows to text/call if they need something and can't reach you? That way an adult would also know to account for him in the (extremely unlikely) scenario that there was something like a building fire alarm or power outage and he doesn't have to do any thinking about who he can/should contact if the need actually arises.

GiddyCrab · 13/05/2025 00:09

I wouldn't.
Friends daughter was terrified when there was a power cut. She had also heard about local break ins. Was in a state when her Mum got back at 9pm .

Oftenaddled · 12/05/2025 23:37

Bigearringsbigsmile · 12/05/2025 23:29

What if something happens to you?

I think OP should leave him a plan for this anyway, whether he's on his own until 4, 8, 10. Nothing dramatic, just, if I'm ever late home and you can't get in touch with me, phone (Gran, neighbour, school friend's mum etc). This could happen if she leaves him for ten minutes in broad daylight. It's good to point out, though, because it's good to have a plan.

Delphiniumandlupins · 12/05/2025 23:36

I would do a trial run, so your DC can see how they feel being left alone in the evening/until dark. You can be very nearby and contactable. It will put less pressure on the event you want to go to.

Flyswats · 12/05/2025 23:34

Yes. you say your child is sensible. Does that include knowing not to answer the door or go outside while you're gone?

I left my 2 kids at home a couple of times (with a very large dog) when they were 10 / 11.

They were 100% fine.

Oftenaddled · 12/05/2025 23:34

What's the difference between leaving him until 8 and leaving him until 10?

If he's happy, has a phone, has a local contact, has common sense, this is a sensible step. Phone him at the interval.

One reservation: I see a suggestion upthread that he invite a friend. That creates a more complex situation - I'd avoid that.

But go for it!

TheaBrandt1 · 12/05/2025 23:30

Definitely fine/ year 7 they are getting themselves to school surely sitting at home is safer than that? I was babysitting very young children at 13 until very late at night. Different times!

HeddaGarbled · 12/05/2025 23:29

No. Not for a non-urgent night out.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 12/05/2025 23:29

What if something happens to you?

Calliopespa · 12/05/2025 23:26

rosemarble · 12/05/2025 22:10

Would you do the same with your own children?

Show quote history

I was wondering that too.

We didn’t wear seatbelts in the back seat when I was young.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 12/05/2025 23:26

No not a chance

midlandsmummy123 · 12/05/2025 23:25

I wouldn't as these days kids aren't brought up with the same independence - if there is any kind of emergency and you're not there. Can't you take her with you?

Readytohealnow · 12/05/2025 23:24

Yes. If she is sensible with no SN, has a phone and won’t play with the oven.
She will likely be just watching tv all evening or talking to friends

Meadowfinch · 12/05/2025 23:21

Yes. As long as they had access to a phone and could call someone for help in case of an emergency.

I was looking after my little sis at 13.

Isthathowlongitsbeen · 12/05/2025 23:17

Oh for heaven's sake! Go and enjoy yourself, your kid will be fine. High time for them to have some independence.

minnienono · 12/05/2025 23:10

I was babysitting at that age! My dc were left occasionally from early teens, didn’t have a sitter past age 12 unless overnight

Calliopespa · 12/05/2025 23:09

Feetinthegrass · 12/05/2025 21:24

Summer or winter? Is comfortable to be left? Is she likely to feel scared or lonely? I think it’s a touch too young personally.

I think I agree it’s just a touch too young and a touch too late.

At 14 I’d start to consider home alone at night.

Eenameenadeeka · 12/05/2025 23:08

I definitely wouldn't.

Pepperama · 12/05/2025 23:04

Yes and have done most weeks from age 12. When he was 12, we made sure next door neighbour was around in case of any problems. Now at 13, he’s used to staying home alone some evenings or school holiday days, and would know how to call emergency services, is unlikely to burn the house down etc. only problem is that he uses it as an excuse to stay up later than ideal

minipie · 12/05/2025 23:01

I have a 12.5 year old and we are contemplating doing this later this week for a low key local social event. I think she’d be fine practically speaking. The two potential issues are she probably wouldn’t go to bed till we get back, and also she might get a bit freaked out in the house on her own in the dark. Need to ask her about the second one!

Iwon · 12/05/2025 22:56

Mine would be fine....hours of screen time and cupboard snacks. They might not put themselves to bed and still be sat in front of TV ..but yes we'd do it.

Original poster
WizardofCoz · 12/05/2025 22:53

Thanks for all your replies! Wow a mixed bag.
Child is pretty sensible, I do think would be ok, will probably love eating snacks/staring at screens - there are at least 4 neighbours in our block that we know v well. I’m still a bit torn though…

OP posts:
FlorbelaEspanca · 12/05/2025 22:28

It sounds fine to me. When I was 12 I was commonly left alone in the evening. At the same age I once went by myself from our home in London for a day at the seaside.

PurpleThistle7 · 12/05/2025 22:26

My daughter is 12 and isn’t ready for this at all. But plenty of her friends are and do stay home alone. Super kid dependent and for me would also rely on having someone around to run to if a true emergency (friendly neighbour etc)