Is this weird - helped a scared girl out on the school run and her mum didn’t give a shit

You’ve absolutely done the right thing, Even if the tiniest of chances that something horrific could have happened doesn’t bare thinking about.
so glad you were there for her.

About 30 years ago, a 6/7 year old boy ran past me (late 20 something woman) crying on a very busy road near to where I lived. I asked him what was wrong and his dad had dropped him at cubs, not got out the car but the door to the community centre was locked. He didn’t know where he lived so we started walking in the direction that he thought it was. About 2 miles later, in new shoes, after a long day at work, we found his very respectable house. Mum came to the door and eyed me very suspiciously when I explained what her husband had done. No thank you, nothing to her little boy, so cold! I still felt like I’d done something wrong years later but in that moment I did what I thought was right.

Yeah my mother used to say this about me because I’d been abused and she didn’t want to face it. Then had taxi driver funded by mental health services attempt shit and also a GP, it’s like once you become known as an easy victim in the system the peeves flock round. Every single thing I said then became a lie even the mundane non dramatic stuff.

I remember a few years after I told my mother the GP tried shit with me he was in the paper for abusing other girls and then my mother said oh we should go to the police and tell them your story as he did that to you too. Completely missing out she had punished me for “lying”.

as a young adult I was in group therapy with a girl who had been raped by the taxi driver who had taken her to therapy as a teen. Not when he was working he waited and did it when he was off shift. Then all the grooming gang stuff has been in the need and my area has not been mentioned so I personally would believe any girl who said people in cars were acting weird and they were scared even more so if they seem like the easy target that these men prefer as victims.

Was it very out of your way to walk her home? could she walk with you as far as is convenient for you in future?

Very weird reaction from the mother - not to mention ungrateful about all the time you took out of your day to get her DD home safe. I'm so pleased the girl felt she could come to you, and that you were able to keep her safe.

People can be strange though. A few months ago, DD2 and maybe 20 of her friends and acquaintances were having a party in a field that belongs to some of the parents'/ grandparents' farm. They are all 16/17. I sent DD2 with her phone, some food and a 4-pack of cider to share with her friends (I'm sure plenty of people will be along to say their kids won't touch a drop until they're 18, but I mean, come ON) and they were having a good time. DD2 and her friends are sensible and just not into drinking much, but one girl (not really a friend of DD2) brought along a bottle of vodka and necked most of it. She collapsed in the field, and not knowing what to do, DD2 and a friend did their best to rouse her, brought her back to our house as we are nearby, and stayed with her in the bathroom while she vomited in our loo and all over the floor. When she felt better, we cleaned up after her, found her a beanbag to chill out one, and covered her in a blanket (because she was sleepy and shivering in a little dress). At one point, the girls had called an ambulance for her, but once she was lucid and managing drinks of water, I cancelled it for them. I managed to get a number to call her parents to pick her up. In all, she was probably in my house for an hour or so, and apart from the vomit, she was no bother really. Anyway, both her mum and dad turned up, angry. They gave us the Spanish inquisition, demanded to know what 'we' had let her drink, and how she had got into that state. DD2 and her friend were reasonably sober and explained that the girl had brought along and chugged the vodka herself. If looks could kill! Her parents went on and on. They obviously thought my husband and I had forced it down her throat. It wasn't my party! It wasn't at my house; none of the other kids got paralytic, and their daughter isn't even friends with mine!! They had just acted to keep her as safe as they could, and I acted in loco parentis until we could get hold of them. No word of thanks, or sorry, or anything.

DD2's friend kept on apologising for bringing the drunk girl back to ours. I reiterated that this is ALWAYS a safe space for any friends, or friends of friends, and that she did the right thing - we were able to look after her, and nobody abandoned her on some random farm. I hope that her parents' reaction was just down to embarrassment about their child's out-of-control behaviour, or their ignorance of what she was getting up to. I have no idea though!

Ok you can stop now.

Attempted abduction could mean the group would grab the next available child at a school up the road. At the point she screamed, it was a crime in progress, and police could look for the car. You don't have to argue nor even to believe me, just ask at your local police station if they agree with 999 for an attempted stranger abduction. It's not an issue because that didn't happen, just for future awareness.

Well done for looking after her, sounds like it was just as well you were there because her mum clearly didn't give two hoots. Poor kid.

Unfortunately, I'm not surprised. We moved from a sleepy estate of mostly retirees to a new build estate with lots of families and I'm constantly amazed at how little interest some of the parents have in their children. They just seem to turf them out in the morning and forget they exist.

There were 2 attempted kidnappings from a car last year and one of the men was seen walking round our estate watching children. It was posted ALL over Facebook and widely talked about, yet there were still children as young as 6 out unattended where their parents couldn't possibly have know what they were up to as they lived on a different street.

You did the right thing OP. It's better to be overcautious than regret doing nothing.

There are so many rumours and urban myths posted on FB, very few people would believe it.

About a minute later I heard a scream and I turned round a little girl was running towards me asking me to help her.
How much more in progress do you want than OP hearing a scream? OP was right there with the action unfolding of a potential crime and a phone. Half an hour later dropping the girl plus however long chatting to her mate - then it became a 101 matter with the car long gone.

Ahh the mum sounds awful. Maybe she was feeling guilty it happened and she was not reachable and channelled it towards you. Or maybe she's just a bit of a crap mum.

Anyway, well done OP. You did the right thing. There's no manual to how to handle these situations when they happen. It's very easy to think of alternatives afterwards but the main thing is you got the girl home safely. If that were my daughter I would have been panicking and very grateful someone looked after her. Luckily there's mums around! I always tell my DC that if for any reason they get lost or can't find me, go and find another mum because they usually help.

It wasn't "in progress" though, they had sped off by then and the OP didn't have enough information to offer. Even with a 999 blue lights there'd have been nothing for the police to attend to, and there's no way they'd have been able to find that van, even if they got there 5 mins later.

Most roads are CCTV'd, if only via shops etc, cars can be tracked without a reg. Next time, return a child to the school. That poor little girl will have no support and be schooled to minimise it. It's good that you now recognise that not all parents do care and not every child's home is the safest place. I'm not saying necessarily call 999, but a potential kidnapping is a 999 situation. You didn't know the child amd the police's advise is to not take charge of a child not known to you, call them, or rake back to the school.

Maybe 10yr old doesnt feel safe and thats why she apparently makes stuff up? Maybe she is crying out for an adult to support her? Kids who make things up usually need attention from their primary carers.

A car full of men sitting outside a school if not obviously collecting a child…dodgy. I mean they could have been working nearby and taking a break…. but you have to trust your instincts.

If you didnt already share this with school, I would let them know exactly how far that little girl walks on her own and that she had no means of contacting an adult as her phone was dead.

The mum should have thanked you, even if the child is prone to making things up and the same thing happens three times a week.

The distance isn't an issue, there's little difference between doing a ten minute walk alone and a 25 minute walk in terms of safety so long as there's no difference in terms of general area safety (like if the route went through a dodgy area). 10 year olds (and younger) walk much further alone to school in my town, it's not an issue because the routes are generally safe.

The issue here is the odd behaviour of the men, perhaps innocent perhaps not, and the fact that the mother doesn't believe what her daughter tells her. That's the biggest issue really because that girl can't trust her mum to believe her if something happens to her,which is utterly depressing.

'No good deed goes unpunished.' The times I have learned this.

Well done, OP for caring. Every parent hopes that the world will treat their children with kindness and notice when they need help and this you did.

Nothing if her mum could be bothered meeting her and walking with her so they could chat. But leaving her to do it on her own? Lazy and neglectful.
A mum I know was unavoidably held up when going to collect her daughter from school. The child decided to start walking the route she knew her mother would take. She was never seen alive again. That was years ago, I think our streets are far more dangerous now.

A 10 year old child is walking 25 minutes home on her own? Maybe I’m too conservative but that doesn’t sound right or safe.

my two boys are 12 & 14 and have only just started walking themselves home as it’s a 30 minute walk.

About a year ago a 14 year old boy was kidnapped and fell from the moving vehicle about a 10 minute drive from our house. I think there were other 14 year olds in the car. The news reported that he received life altering injuries. We are all of us vulnerable, but a 10 year old child even more so.

Definitely let the school know.

You did absolutely the right things. My M was one who ignored unpleasant things that happened to me in childhood and even laughed and smirked when they were brought to her attention. Thank you for being the one who was there for this little girl and for taking her fears seriously. I hope you encounter her again so that you can check she's OK. I've no doubt that the fact that you stopped, listened and believed her will be something she remembers with gratitude for a long time, despite the nasty apathy of her mother.

Best wishes to you. x

Ignore the mother. Report the incident to the school and the police - just the type of car strangely parked, the hat waving and the girl screaming because a man got out when she passed. There is no reason to disbelieve her and these men could be a risk to other children.

What a fu**ing awful attitude. I cannot abide people who cannot show gratitude for those who go out of their way to help and protect others.

She sounds like a shit parent. At least you informed the police and school so hopefully if that van turns up again people are aware.