Dad using individual ladies loo to change baby – what’s the etiquette?

Yep, perfectly fine! My partner changed our kid in women’s loos lots of times - it’s not my job to do 100% of nappy changes. I’ve also changed her in disabled toilets when that is where the facilities are located and I am not disabled. Baby needs to be changed baby needs to be changed - nappy rash is no joke!

But that would leave no space for some of the people on Mumsnet to get their knickers in a twist. And then where would we be?

Well no, as it contains a baby change so that'll make it for parents and babies, not just women.

It's a single individual toilet so it shouldn't be a problem for anyone.

But for the pedants, I guess the cafe owner should change the sign to 'Ladies toilet and baby change'.

It's not ideal that disabled and baby change share so often either, but people have to use the facility allocated to them. Using the cubicle for the baby means use the ladies. Take baby in the gents if he needs a wee.

Dont be so bloody ridiculous a baby should never be changed on the floor of a mens (or any toilet). That's disgusting.

This is not a communal toilet so no risk of another woman being in there, hes simply a man wanting to clean his baby. If the only changing facility is in the womens then where the hell else is he going to change baby? Telling him to complain isnt useful in that moment, if your baby is covered in poo then that's your priority not this nonsense. I'm not going to change my precious baby on the floor of a public table or stand and argue with minimum wage workers when I've a baby to take care off

Nobody has said changing nappies is a womans job, you've a dad here trying to do it and coming up against issues.

I would suggest to the cafe they should just label the individual toilets as gender neutral

Why though? It makes no difference and the woman shouldn’t have to do it simply because she’s the woman. Your argument makes no sense.

Honestly if this were us, my DH would have done the same, came and told me and I would have changed the nappy. He does 90+ per cent of nappy changes when we are together, we have 3 kids in the past 7ish years and this sort of thing has happened maybe two or three times ever. However all those times the baby change was in a communal ladies toilet to be fair so still not this situation. I know he still wouldn't willfully go into a room marked ladies though if I was there to use it.

In terms of what he'd do if he was alone in this set up, well it's never happened but I suspect he would either ask staff if it's ok for him to go in to change baby or possibly just go straight and do it tbh very unhappily.

Nobody would even blink here. It would be a non issue

This.

It’s a single, self contained loo with a baby change. It really, really doesn’t matter if a man goes in it to change his child. It also wouldn’t matter a jot if he went in for a wee if the other was engaged. It’s just a toilet. You’re banging the drum for female spaces so loud, you’ve forgotten to listen to common sense here.

You are contradicting yourself over and over again. And resorting to being angry and bringing out personal insults really doesn’t help your case here.

There is no need to resort to insults here . Calm down.

In that circumstance it’s clearly a disabled AND baby change, and disabled toilets are already mixed sex.

A facility marked Ladies/women/female is for female people only.

Yes - dads should challenge it and request a change if table in the men’s. Not just waltz in past the “Ladies” sign. Which, as we now all know, means ladies only. Not men.

Sounds a bit much as a first stage.

Of course he should be able to use it. And of course it’s not an invasion of women’s space if he does. Anybody who thinks the latter needs to give themselves a shake, frankly.

But you did say you have an issue. You think the Mother should change the nappy to avoid the dad going into a single occupancy space ?

DH felt uncomfortable using the ladies even though there was no one else around. He wasn’t sure what he’d have done if I hadn’t been there to help.

This is worrying.

What would he have done if the baby change had been in the toilet for disabled people, as it so often is?

In reality people with babies use the baby changing facilities wherever they are.

Ideally there would be a baby changing table in both the men's and the women's, but sometimes only the accessible toilets are big enough for one.

Get a grip Zelda. Read the whole conversation before you jump and up down. I was responding to "When abroad I’ve had to change a baby in all sorts of bathrooms with no changing units at all and managed."

Before this I said if he was alone I have no issue with him using the lades.

Seriously, if they have room for two loos, then one should be for Baby Changers and the other should be Accessible. Why even bother labelling them mens and womens?

" If men hadn't been invading female spaces illegally for so long I would have zero issue with OP sitting enjoying her food while the dad changed the nappy in the ladies, but right now it's a touchy situation."

Come off it. Women have invaded men's toilets in bars pubs clubs etc whenever the queue for the ladies was too long for decades.

In this case it is a single occupancy room and should probably be marked unisex which the interim guidance makes clear is perfectly reasonable. Plenty of cafes only have 1 unisex cubicle full stop.