Are we over-scheduling our children's lives?

I’ve raised 2 children and in my opinion, I think this is far too much. Children need down time to just relax or even have friends over after school. Mine used to go to dance class on Saturday but that was the only extra curricular activity they took part in, and that was at their request.

I remember being signed up to multiple activities each week as a child as both my parents worked full-time and it was either that or after school club until 6pm.

I hated it.

Mine is nearly 7 and does similar - completely normal for kids in her school (in London, so lots of opportunities and easy to get to activities). I didn't have any of that as a child because my parents had to continue working after doing the school run, and they couldn't have afforded it either. Most families I know facilitate lots of extracurriculars (5+ a week) unless they can't afford to, or their working pattern means they can only use childcare and can't do the ferrying around, or their dcs have SN and need more time to decompress after school.

We still have plenty of time for play time and unstructured activities, as we live 5 mins from school so no long journey home (home by 4.30pm even after a club), and they don't need to be in childcare on non-club days or during school holidays. Probably get more down time than kids in after-school and holiday childcare until 6pm.

If the kids want to do it and the parents can facilitate it, I don't see the issue.

Is it over-scheduling to have afterschool clubs Mon-Thursday then a sporty weekend? I imagine there's still a lot of weekend left after 7 year old football, rugby and swimming (a 30 minute lesson?) It's not as though they're going to afterschool club then a further extra-curricular thing or two every night of the week.

Our kiddo has tutor, guitar, swimming, ice skating, kung fu, maths club each week...enjoys it all and we have time for meals out, chilling and playing. Yr 3.

My DD’s did choir, orchestra, piano (orchestral instrument lessons in school time), swimming then dd2 did football older (school and club). By 9 they were singing 3-4 times as week as choristers, kept them off computers

Get kids back playing out! It’s really not that hard. How the fuck have we got here where it’s no longer the norm! Instead we put kids on a merry go round of constant structured and organised activities or they are indoors on screens.

I agree OP. I did a long walk around the local streets of my village and around two local parks this weekend. I didn’t see one single child playing out on a gorgeous sunny weekend in a very safe village. So depressing. Children need unstructured time without adults around to develop essential life skills. Constantly shepherding them around from one activity to another is not good for anyone.

Of course not but what is the alternative? They do a fair amount of down time and we don't allow screens apart from family TV on a Saturday night.

I don't want to be saddled supervising other people's dc on a a field somewhere either.

My dd is 8, she does flute, piano, singing club, swimming, dance and karate and after school club on the days she doesn’t have an activity, she enjoys them all, all except karate and dance are 30 minutes and she takes it on herself to practice at home, the singing and music lessons are in school time. There are definitely some children for whom that would be too much, but DD enjoys them all and she has plenty of free time at the weekend to go to the park and read and play.

I don't have kids but sometimes i listed to my colleagues (and siblings when their kids were small) and I get exhausted listening how many activities they do.

My nephe lw used to come for a sleepover and he always asked for the same routine. We get self made pizza ingredients from the shop, make pizza and watch a movie. The next morning we wat breakfast and play football in the yard. When I suggested cinema/trampoline park etc. He always said that he did not want to go anywhere for once.
Now that the kids are grown, it is kind if funny how lost my brother is that he doesn't have activities with the kids.

DD is in year 1 and does swimming one evening a week. She doesn’t fancy anything else and we’re not pushing it. The rest of the time she’s playing with her little brother, we meet up with friends, reading, in the garden, at the park, cooking etc. She’s very good at entertaining herself and needs plenty of time to do her own thing.

I think while personality is a big part of it, the people I know whose kids do loads of activities and complain their kids need organised fun as they won’t play independently never actually gave them a chance to learn.

As the years go on I’d assume your child will drop things/ move on. We didn’t have the money for a lot of clubs and I hugely regret it

Well no, if it was just lunch and storytime it wouldn't be over scheduled.

It's not though. There's breakfast, snack, lunch, afternoon snack and tea. There's naptime. There's story time. Nappies are changed to a schedule. Trips out will be scheduled. There will be some combination of yoga/french/mandarin/music/circle time etc etc, which will all be scheduled. There will be scheduled time for being outside. Any art/craft/messy activities will be done at set, scheduled times. Weeks will often be themed around a certain learning topic and toys/resources available will be based on this rather than following children's individual interests. Even the brief periods of 'free play' will be scheduled.

I'm afraid you are quite wrong re. nurseries not being over structured. They are very, very structured. In part, I think, because parents (not understanding child development) want this kind of structure for their children. I've seen many posts saying how good their nursery is because their two year old does French lessons, ballet and yoga at nursery!

I'm always amazed at this massive in school activity programmes... my DDs attended 5 primary schools in different parts of the UK and all of them they limited the clubs one child could do... usually 1, sometimes 2. As there just wasn't the capacity for every child to do an activity club everyday. Child care was just the generic ASC.

7yo's week looks like this :

Monday- free
Tuesday- free
Wednesday- rugby
Thursday- free
Friday- swimming
Saturday- free
Sunday- rugby

You sound over invested. You do you.

Having lunch every day at 12 and story time at 3pm isn't what people mean by overstructured and overscheduled, nurseries are child led and free play based and good ones are great for kids.
And the same with childcare based after school club as opposed to extra curricular ones.

Of nursery, yes. Professional experience.

No professional experience of after-school clubs only as a user.

I think if you ask anyone who uses a nursery they will be able to tell you about the routines and structures they follow though. If you use a nursery ask them for a timetable, I'm sure they could provide one.

I did similar when I was young, and I like to think that I grew into a well-adjusted adult. Maybe the difference is between activities that you have a passion for as a child and ones where there is parental pressure?

I also remember my childhood as one full of playing with friends, and blackberry picking and other unstructured activity, despite doing a lot of organised activity and committing to the practice and training that went with it.

I think personality comes into it. I have always been a busy person. I will still make busywork for myself now.

In fact, I can only remember 2 periods of my life when I didn’t feel the drive to do things. Once during COVID, when I was physically and emotionally burnt out, and once during a major bereavement. We knew I was better when I had the urge to sew something, or bake something, or go for a walk.

My other half is the opposite. He loves sleep, he loves quiet time. He doesn’t like being around people.

Both approaches are fine. Horses for courses.

Aren’t the afterschool clubs just glorified childcare essentially?

Yea where they spend 3 years learning to blow bubbles because they started when they were not developmentally ready to brush their teeth leave alone learn swimming strokes.