To think some people are “stuck” not because of trauma, but because they’re lazy?

Have you tried accessing "appropriate help" without the funds to do it privately?

Just waiting for the "lack of resilience" brigade to show up and advocate going for a walk and eating a banana.

One side effect of my "trauma" is barely suppressed rage, and it looks like this thread could be today's outlet. Rather than just resisting the urge to do vodka shots through my eyeballs.

Indeed - but some people frame relatively minor events, or events that are part of the usual grist of being human as 'trauma' and demand unending support. Whilst others do go through actual traumatic experiences which they ultimately move on from.

Some posters seem to love saying they have PSTD/complex PTSD from relatively standard life events. The 'trauma' diagnoses is popular on Mumsnet alongside ADHD and autism.

Stuck, avoidance, lack of will can overlap or be different things I think. Yes definitely some people can have all the knowledge to act but can’t act in their bodies - that’s the very definition of trauma, where there’s a disconnect between mind and body.

Motivation is complicated. Would point you to Dr David Maloney’s material on procrastination on YouTube if you want to understand more.

Recommend you look up Pete Walker’s trauma responses if you want to understand more about trauma. www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

Avoidance is literally a symptom of trauma.
From the NHS website:
www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/symptoms/

Avoidance and emotional numbing
Trying to avoid being reminded of the traumatic event is another key symptom of PTSD.
This usually means avoiding certain people or places that remind you of the trauma, or avoiding talking to anyone about your experience.
Many people with PTSD try to push memories of the event out of their mind, often distracting themselves with work or hobbies.
Some people attempt to deal with their feelings by trying not to feel anything at all. This is known as emotional numbing.
This can lead to the person becoming isolated and withdrawn, and they may also give up pursuing activities they used to enjoy.

As for your original question of whether some people who say they have trauma are lazy - well its fairly pointless and goady question. Are struggling mothers lazy? Are unemployed people lazy? Are disabled people lazy? Presumably some are and some aren't, just like all people!

Can you give some examples of the kind of thing you mean.

I have "overcome" a lot of truly horrible trauma but I am acutely aware that is because I have had the privilege of other aspects of life being smoothish and have had the wealth to afford decent and lengthy therapy.

Whether or not it affects the OP is irrelevant. She clearly wants to start a discussion about something that she considers important.

FWIW, words like trauma and (chronic) post traumatic stress are sometimes used in relation to events that may not warrant them. It is true that stressful or devastating events can affect different people very differently, but everyone who finds themselves in a situation that sounds overwhelming should at least try very hard to deal with this. And that includes seeking appropriate help from friends, relatives, doctors, therapists, specific agencies or charitable organizations.

Spoken like someone who has never experienced significant and long lasting trauma. If you had, you’d know it wasn’t quite as simple as that. The effect of living in high levels of stress and fear for years has a lasting impact on the body and mind, and trust me, no one would WANT to live like that. Also mental health services for both adults and children are scant, to say the least, so unless people can afford to go private, which most can’t, then it’s tough shit.

Take control of your destiny? Are you serious? Trauma isn't something going wrong in life, it's having something dreadful happen to you - like being raped, being abused, watching a loved one die in terrible circumstances eg. an accident, losing a child unexpectedly (or expectedly), a late miscarriage......

These are not things that happen to everyone everyday. Sometimes they're hard to work through. Sometimes you never actually get over it. Sometimes t here's a huge scar right across the middle of your life that itches and demands more of your attention than you realistically have to give.

It's way more than 'changes' and 'hard work'.

Jesus wept.

Being ‘treated in a way less than ideal’ is very different to actual traumatic experiences some people go through. Huge difference.

It’s difficult for people to move forward from trauma. It’s like their ship sank and they scrabbled around for a lifeboat and now people expect them to abandon the lifeboat and swim. It takes time to heal and the survival brain will resist healing and want to stay on the lifeboat. Sadly I think some people can’t heal and will stay frozen in trauma.

I think " trauma" has become a mostly meaningless word because of overuse. Like " transphobic".

And this affects you enough to post about it, how?

You are going to get a lot of people curling up into the fetal position telling you that you are being terribly triggering but yes you are 100% right.

Everyone has hassle. Everyone has things they wish had gone differently and times when they were in situations when they were treated in a way that’s not ideal. Of course there are times when things go extremely wrong and these people need support. However, many now take anything where they aren’t handed everything on a plate and have to put in some effort as an excuse to completely cop out and have a completely learned incompetence.

It’s baffling and totally counter productive as those who actually need help end up not getting support because there is an assumption that everyone is just taking the piss.

Where did OP mention disabilities?

What is the point of this post?

Yes. At some point, you have to take control of your destiny. You are the only person who can fix your future. Btw, I'm not saying it is easy or that one show fits all.

oh, what's this? Another open invitation for disability bashing. what fun.