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9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

537 replies

Nowherecitizen · 12/05/2025 13:09

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

OP posts:
LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 18:08

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 18:04

So as a human you are unable to learn new behaviours? It’s being called Mx instead of sir - don’t make it more complicated than it is. They are 9 not 2 able to reason and comprehend.

Seeing one sex and being required to use a word applicable to the other (or none) is difficult for adults, never mind 9-year-olds, for the same reason; it is psychologically bamboozling. Human rights organisations typically take a dim view of this sort of compelled speech for this reason.
Our old friend George Orwell has been quoted threadbare on this issue, but the 1984 line about the 'evidence of your eyes and ears' continues to be relevant and resonant.

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 18:05

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:58

But you haven't given any kind of coherent reasoning why they're different. Fine, I doubt you're going to, but just to be clear.

Btw - you disappointed me with the last sentence there 🤣

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 18:04

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:57

Recognition of sex is hard-wired in humans (there are evolutionary/safety reasons for this).
Knowledge of people's names isn't.

So as a human you are unable to learn new behaviours? It’s being called Mx instead of sir - don’t make it more complicated than it is. They are 9 not 2 able to reason and comprehend.

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 18:03

I have you chose not to accept here it is plain and simple:

gender is something individual to you it’s our perception of ourselves , it can be inherited.

race is something that is inherited, it presents as categorised (often physical) traits that are socially constructed and understood. It’s about community, culture, connection and sometimes even trauma.

hope that’s coherent enough for you

have a nice day

BundleBoogie · 12/05/2025 18:00

AgentLisbon · 12/05/2025 14:51

No, it doesn’t. At all.

it establishes what Parliament meant in the context of a particular piece of legislation. It does not, for example, mean someone with a GRC under the Gender Recognition Act is no longer legally considered a woman. It means that equalities legislation is one of the exceptions to the general position that such a person is otherwise legally considered a woman for “all purposes”.

What “purposes” do you believe those are?

It’s already not “all purposes” because the GRA carved out an exception for primogeniture/inheritance (to benefit men that identify as women obviously to the detriment of women that identify as men) and originally participation in sport, although that might have been quietly removed but has been reinstated by the SC judgement.

It’s definitely not for purposes where biological sex is relevant such as determining who accesses services or spaces where sex is important as per the SC judgement.

I guess it could be for the purposes of obtaining official id such as birth certificate (can be rewritten with new name and sex if a GRC is obtained - ripe for abuse by id fraudsters/sex offenders) or a passport (can be falsified updated at will with an easily obtained doctors letter or driving licence (just film in an online form). This has fundamentally undermined the integrity of official identification documents and therefore DBS/security checks.

I can’t see any other “purposes” though?

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 12/05/2025 18:00

TY78910 · 12/05/2025 13:38

What does the SC ruling got to do with this? Teacher wants to be called Mx. It is no different to a Mrs wanted to be addressed by her title as opposed to Miss. Or Dr being addressed as their title as opposed to Mr. The SC ruling talks about biology, it does not support day-to-day nastiness and allows people to be whoever they want to be in peace.

It is VERY different. Ever seen a female teacher punish a child for calling her ‘Miss’ instead of ‘Mrs’? There’s a reason for it. This teacher is using children to validate his belief in gender ideology. This teacher is claiming to be neither a man or a woman. There’s no such thing as ‘non-binary’: sex is a binary. If he just means he’s not stereotypically masculine then whoopeedoo- he’s got the same human condition as every other person on the planet. It’s called a ‘personality.’ I’m a woman, typing this wearing a pair of trousers and no makeup. I have not changed sex.

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:58

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:58

But you haven't given any kind of coherent reasoning why they're different. Fine, I doubt you're going to, but just to be clear.

I'm trying my best too Grin

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:58

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:56

I have given you an answer you chose to not accept it. I can’t make you change your mind and you can’t change mine. I’m ok with that.

But you haven't given any kind of coherent reasoning why they're different. Fine, I doubt you're going to, but just to be clear.

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:57

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:52

My reasoning is that it’s only not counter intuitive because that’s what you have been taught - you weren’t born with that knowledge - therefore you can acquire and de-acquire different knowledge.

Recognition of sex is hard-wired in humans (there are evolutionary/safety reasons for this).
Knowledge of people's names isn't.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:57

Correctly sexing someone and applying the correct sex title is deeply intuitive, system 1 brain activity and hard to override.

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:56

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:54

Well I didn't think I'd get an answer, I guess 🤷‍♀️

I have given you an answer you chose to not accept it. I can’t make you change your mind and you can’t change mine. I’m ok with that.

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:55

JustTalkToThem · 12/05/2025 17:52

Mx is not for women. It’s a gender neutral term.

I stand corrected! Live and learn.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:54

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:47

Have a nice day.

Well I didn't think I'd get an answer, I guess 🤷‍♀️

JustTalkToThem · 12/05/2025 17:52

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:49

Can you articulate why?

My reasoning for my position is it's never actually counter-intuitive to remember to call someone, say, Mrs Jones or Mr Singh (although you may simply forget their name, which is a different thing), whereas it IS counter-intuitive to look at someone who is patently male and call them 'Mx', which is for women.

Now you go.

Mx is not for women. It’s a gender neutral term.

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:52

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:49

Can you articulate why?

My reasoning for my position is it's never actually counter-intuitive to remember to call someone, say, Mrs Jones or Mr Singh (although you may simply forget their name, which is a different thing), whereas it IS counter-intuitive to look at someone who is patently male and call them 'Mx', which is for women.

Now you go.

My reasoning is that it’s only not counter intuitive because that’s what you have been taught - you weren’t born with that knowledge - therefore you can acquire and de-acquire different knowledge.

tinytemper66 · 12/05/2025 17:50

I get called Sir, Mam, Miss all the time.

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:49

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:45

There is no difference at all in my opinion so agree to disagree

Can you articulate why?

My reasoning for my position is it's never actually counter-intuitive to remember to call someone, say, Mrs Jones or Mr Singh (although you may simply forget their name, which is a different thing), whereas it IS counter-intuitive to look at someone who is patently male and call them 'Mx', which is for women.

Now you go.

Grammarnut · 12/05/2025 17:48

Nowherecitizen · 12/05/2025 17:44

I’ve heard that assertion but how do you know that every person who does not want to be defined as the sex they were born is a fetishist?

Most men who do this are. With young women it tends to be a flight from womanhood.

ERthree · 12/05/2025 17:47

If we are allowing people to identify as whatever dream is in their head, where do we draw the line because there really does have to be a line. If a child of 10 decides they are 18 and are going for pint in the pub can the landlord refuse to serve them because they are underage ? If a 35 year old male decides he is 15 and starts dating a 14 year old girl do we have the right to stop him ?

Threesacrow · 12/05/2025 17:47

I'm curious. I'm 70 years old and never had to call teachers Sir or Miss when I was a child. As a retired teacher, I never taught in a school where teachers were called Sir or Miss. During my life and experience, teachers are called Mr\Mrs\Miss and their surname, but never just a title. So was this 9 year old deliberately calling the teacher Sir to antagonise?

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:47

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:46

Trans people know what they are born - biologically the problem is that they don’t see themselves that way.

So explain to us why that's different to any of the other examples ...

Transracial people know what race they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

Or

Trans-age people know what year they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

Or

Trans species people know what species they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

Or

Transabled people know what ability level they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

Have a nice day.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 17:46

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:39

I believe that people are either born male or female - that is the biology of the human nature as we know it. But I believe that gender is a separate issue. I was born female and identify as a female. For me it’s a simple matter. But the same is not for everyone. Trans people know what they are born - biologically the problem is that they don’t see themselves that way.

I think rhetoric such as “no matter what he will always be a he and not a she” is reductive and dismissive. Yes you can argue that biologically that is accurate but humans are more than a collective of atoms - and what we feel and how we identify ourselves is a huge part of who we are. To deny someone the possibility to exist as they wish to exist is cruel and unnecessary.

and for the record - before more comes on this - yes I want woman to be safe but in my opinion to support trans and support women are not mutually exclusive.

Trans people know what they are born - biologically the problem is that they don’t see themselves that way.

So explain to us why that's different to any of the other examples ...

Transracial people know what race they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

Or

Trans-age people know what year they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

Or

Trans species people know what species they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

Or

Transabled people know what ability level they are born, the problem is they don't see themselves that way

DurinsBane · 12/05/2025 17:45

Nowherecitizen · 12/05/2025 14:25

The teacher @ResisterOfTwaddleRex is highly experienced and talented in their chosen subject. They normally teach older children but will do some lessons with younger ones too. They should definitely be in teaching. I don’t want anyone yo infer that they were ‘inappropriate’. They were just overly stern if the small child came away feeling bad.

Don’t forget that on MN all biological male trans or non binary people are only doing it because they want to sexually abuse women 😒

Nothankyov · 12/05/2025 17:45

LittleBitofBread · 12/05/2025 17:44

There is a big difference between a child not remembering a teacher's name – which IS their name – and not remembering that the teacher doesn't want to be addressed as someone of the sex that they patently are.

There is no difference at all in my opinion so agree to disagree

Tristan5 · 12/05/2025 17:44

Fuckitydoodah · 12/05/2025 13:17

I'd be really angry and would be asking to speak to the head.

I couldn't care less what somebody identifies as, but if they bollock my 9 year old child for a lapse in remembering what they should be referred to, then I'm going to be very angry indeed.

What a great role model you seem to be - would you demand a meeting with the teacher to show who’s boss?