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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

537 replies

Nowherecitizen · 12/05/2025 13:09

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

OP posts:

TheNinny · 12/05/2025 13:21

I hate this shit, how the hell do you even pronounce Mx? is it like Mix?? what a joke

Marylou2 · 12/05/2025 13:20

Expecting a child to comprehend and remember the concept of 'non-binary' is unfair and ridiculous. Cos playing as a woman isn't something that should be acceptable while in charge of children and being angry at a young person who inadvertently forgets pronouns is outrageous. YANBU.

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 12/05/2025 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WeMeetInFairIthilien · 12/05/2025 13:19

As humans, we've evolved over thousands of years, to be able to tell the sex of another human, often at a glance.

Particularly for women, this confers a survival advantage.

Young children lack the social filters we learn through life, and say it as they see it.

They saw a man, quite rightly, and referred to that.

Every single female teacher has been called Sir/Mum at least once in their career, it's simply not an issue.

Poor child.

LlynTegid · 12/05/2025 13:19

Point the school to the Supreme Court judgment and say you will view any disciplinary measure for a mistake very seriously.

CaptainFuture · 12/05/2025 13:18

TealScroller · 12/05/2025 13:16

We don't know if this is something that the teacher has had to put up with daily from this child or others in his class. How bad was the telling off? Was the child being cheeky? I think if the telling off wasn't excessive then the kid will just have to take it on the chin.

Why is the teacher having to "'put up" with reality?! Should the children lie?

SmalllChange · 12/05/2025 13:17

WhereIsMyJumper · 12/05/2025 13:16

What an absolute load of bollocks.
Student refers to a man as sir and gets told off for it.

I fully expect a Daily Mail link by this evening.

Fuckitydoodah · 12/05/2025 13:17

I'd be really angry and would be asking to speak to the head.

I couldn't care less what somebody identifies as, but if they bollock my 9 year old child for a lapse in remembering what they should be referred to, then I'm going to be very angry indeed.

TY78910 · 12/05/2025 13:17

SmalllChange · 12/05/2025 13:13

Yes, they should be reminded gently which is what makes me think for all you know (given the 3rd hand info) he may have been told off for taking the piss.

Or he may have been told countless times already, who knows?

Certainly not you, but it'll make for a busy thread regardless.

Agreed. Cue the extremism.

I also agree that you don’t know what happened there exactly. It could be that as a 9yo, even if corrected appropriately, you’re quite emotionally immature and take feedback as ‘telling off’ it’s all in the context really.