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9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

537 replies

Nowherecitizen · 12/05/2025 13:09

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 12/05/2025 14:58

SmalllChange · 12/05/2025 13:13

Yes, they should be reminded gently which is what makes me think for all you know (given the 3rd hand info) he may have been told off for taking the piss.

Or he may have been told countless times already, who knows?

Certainly not you, but it'll make for a busy thread regardless.

A child should not have to be troubled by a grown up’s ‘identity’ in the first place.
What sort of narcissist is this teacher?

BundleBoogie · 12/05/2025 14:57

TealScroller · 12/05/2025 14:25

It's actually a small percentage of trans people who opt for such surgeries and in any case if the person is of sound mind then it's their decision. I'm firmly against a person undergoing such life changing surgery without extensive counselling.
As for stating that 'there are only 2 genders and we shouldn't be teaching children any different' then my response would be that if a person feels that they were born in the wrong body Maybe we should try to be more open minded? Should we be more critical of gay people too? After all, human beings are designed to procreate, so should we be less accepting of them too?
My whole point of commenting was to offer the idea that treating a fellow human being with dignity and respect should be a given. As for harming children, that's utterly ridiculous 'children should ignore the evidence of their own eyes'? So children should make judgments on a person based on what they can see, rather engaging their brain and considering that there are different types of people, not just 'man' and 'woman' what about 'person'? 'human'?
I stand firm in my opinion that it doesn't matter what you think about who a person is, what gender they are etc, but that people are treated with dignity and respect.

Sorry but there are only two types of human in terms of sex which is what ‘Sir’ references.

It is not respectful to children and anyone who doesn’t subscribe to gender ideology to demand adherence to such illiteracies as ‘Mx’.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 14:57

GoFaster83 · 12/05/2025 14:56

What exact purpose does it serve wider society to recognise people with non medical phd's as Dr? Yet I remember the Dr's in my school. Does wider society need to know if I'm Miss or Mrs (because not too long ago people scoffed at Ms)

As it happens, I'm married and I chose Miss. No one has cared. It's just a polite way of greeting someone and it's pretty impolite to call someone by a name they don't wish to be known as.

That's all I'm getting at. I'm not arguing for or against the gender argument.

Academic PhDs are much older and longer established than medical ones.

Shadowsunray · 12/05/2025 14:56

I would complain to the school. The supreme court ruling states men are men and women are women. I'd complain that ideology should not be enforced in class, it has no place in schools at all.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 14:56

ClearHoldBuild · 12/05/2025 14:54

They save the most high and mighty emperor for the bedroom, not work.

Quite

ClosetBasketCase · 12/05/2025 14:56

It was Sir and Miss, it will always be Sir and Miss, It is polite. There is no space in primary school for condoning this level of woke nonsense. quite frankly if my kid got told off for this i'd be fuming and going to the head

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 14:56

AgentLisbon · 12/05/2025 14:51

No, it doesn’t. At all.

it establishes what Parliament meant in the context of a particular piece of legislation. It does not, for example, mean someone with a GRC under the Gender Recognition Act is no longer legally considered a woman. It means that equalities legislation is one of the exceptions to the general position that such a person is otherwise legally considered a woman for “all purposes”.

This person is a man.

According to the SC ruling, he should be treated as a man legally in any situation where men and women are being differentated in terms of services / spaces provided.

For example, he would not be allowed to use female staff toilets in this school.

So quite what grounds anyone thinks they have to discipline a child referring to him as a man is beyond me.

GoFaster83 · 12/05/2025 14:56

What exact purpose does it serve wider society to recognise people with non medical phd's as Dr? Yet I remember the Dr's in my school. Does wider society need to know if I'm Miss or Mrs (because not too long ago people scoffed at Ms)

As it happens, I'm married and I chose Miss. No one has cared. It's just a polite way of greeting someone and it's pretty impolite to call someone by a name they don't wish to be known as.

That's all I'm getting at. I'm not arguing for or against the gender argument.

ZoeCM · 12/05/2025 14:54

I can't believe some posters think the kid is in the wrong here. It's bonkers.

ClearHoldBuild · 12/05/2025 14:54

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 14:52

Why should this particular teacher have his 'preference and boundaries respected' at the expense of the child's common sense?

If he wanted to be referred to as 'most high and mighty emperor' should that be 'respected' too?

They save the most high and mighty emperor for the bedroom, not work.

butteredradish4 · 12/05/2025 14:54

I suppose given that Sadam can't really be used due to historical reasons we will have to go with Siss for the non-binary variation.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 14:52

Botanybaby · 12/05/2025 14:48

Told off is a bit much but a gentle reminder of people's preference and boundaries is needed

Why should this particular teacher have his 'preference and boundaries respected' at the expense of the child's common sense?

If he wanted to be referred to as 'most high and mighty emperor' should that be 'respected' too?

AgentLisbon · 12/05/2025 14:51

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 14:43

It establishes that legally people will classified as their biological sex - that should give pause to anyone trying to discipline people for doing exactly that

No, it doesn’t. At all.

it establishes what Parliament meant in the context of a particular piece of legislation. It does not, for example, mean someone with a GRC under the Gender Recognition Act is no longer legally considered a woman. It means that equalities legislation is one of the exceptions to the general position that such a person is otherwise legally considered a woman for “all purposes”.

YouCanNeverLeave · 12/05/2025 14:51

This teacher is obviously confused if he doesn’t realise he is a man, it’s no wonder the kids are confused by it and making mistakes….or rather not making mistakes, just saying what they see in front of them.

Botanybaby · 12/05/2025 14:48

Told off is a bit much but a gentle reminder of people's preference and boundaries is needed

ClearHoldBuild · 12/05/2025 14:47

TimeForTeaAndToast · 12/05/2025 14:21

I'll be glad when this nonsense ends. He shouldn't be foisting his fetish (crossdressing) and non existent "identity" on to the children.

So if a female teacher wore male suits every day and had a short back and sides would you consider that a fetish that the school was foistering. It’s just clothes. They just like a skirt and heels occasionally

AgentLisbon · 12/05/2025 14:46

Nominative · 12/05/2025 14:40

I do wish people would actually read the Supreme Court judgement. The claims about what it says are becoming ever more inflated on MN. It does not prevent teachers from asking pupils to address them as they wish to be addressed.

My point above exactly. It’s right up top at paragraph 2 of the judgment: “It is not the role of the court to adjudicate on the arguments in the public domain on the meaning of gender or sex, nor is it to define the meaning of the word "woman" other than when it is used in the provisions of the EA 2010. It has a more limited role which does not involve making policy”

CurlewKate · 12/05/2025 14:44

In the list of things that never happened……

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 14:43

Nominative · 12/05/2025 14:40

I do wish people would actually read the Supreme Court judgement. The claims about what it says are becoming ever more inflated on MN. It does not prevent teachers from asking pupils to address them as they wish to be addressed.

It establishes that legally people will classified as their biological sex - that should give pause to anyone trying to discipline people for doing exactly that

Someone2025 · 12/05/2025 14:41

WhereIsMyJumper · 12/05/2025 13:16

What an absolute load of bollocks.
Student refers to a man as sir and gets told off for it.

Agree, it’s a load of nonsense, a 9yo used a pronoun that reflected what he saw in front of him…..and the teacher gets very cross, I would make a complaint

Purplesphere11 · 12/05/2025 14:41

WhereIsMyJumper · 12/05/2025 13:16

What an absolute load of bollocks.
Student refers to a man as sir and gets told off for it.

Definitely two bollocks. It's utterly ridiculous that a child is chastised for not going along with the fantasy of a grown man. If he were my son I'd be livid

TY78910 · 12/05/2025 14:40

BinBadger · 12/05/2025 14:29

But in your examples those people would probably just let it go wouldn't they? I'd be a bit eye rolly about a Dr insisting on being called Dr if there was a lapse during small talk etc....

The whole point is that even if I call my neighbour who has a PhD and likes being called Dr Neighbour, Mr Neighbour instead, he doesn't cease to be a Dr die to my error, and we'd all think he was a bit of a knob if he reprimanded me.

This teacher needs the kids to comply with the request because if they don't, he's just a man.

It is not ok for your identity to so fragile it requires the scaffold of others' words or it all falls down.

My point still stands. Nobody observed what had happened. The teacher could have simply said ‘Mikey, I’ve asked a few times now, please address me as Mx and not Sir’. A 9yo would see it as ‘telling off’ and therefore told his parent, who told their friend, who as many people on this thread leaped to conclusions that this teacher must’ve shouted, flipped the lid, and crucified this poor kid. Fine if people don’t like the Mrs and Miss analogy. What about Tommy-Josh going by TJ, or Michael Junior going by Junior? Not a crime to call them by their government name but person is still okay to correct. It’s not as outrageous as people think, it’s only because they assume there must be a hidden agenda because the teacher is non-binary.

Nowherecitizen · 12/05/2025 14:40

It’s really not a first name basis type of school @Crunchymum though it could solve a lot of issues for all mis-titled staff.

OP posts:
Nominative · 12/05/2025 14:40

quandry77 · 12/05/2025 14:35

A little boy, speaking a biological truth before his eyes. Thank goodness the Supreme Court has recognised biology…. Speak to the head and remind Him/Her of the new reality and you expect teachers to stop bullying young children over biological realities.

I do wish people would actually read the Supreme Court judgement. The claims about what it says are becoming ever more inflated on MN. It does not prevent teachers from asking pupils to address them as they wish to be addressed.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 12/05/2025 14:40

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