9 yr old told off for calling non-binary teacher Sir

Subject: Concern Regarding Compelled Speech and Protected Beliefs

Dear [Headteacher’s Name],

I am writing to raise a serious concern regarding an incident involving my child, [Child’s Name], who was recently reprimanded by a member of staff after referring to them as “Sir.” From what my child recalls, the teacher in question is biologically male but identifies as non-binary and uses the title “Mx.” My child addressed them as “Sir” instinctively and politely, based on their visible presentation.

While I appreciate efforts to foster an inclusive school environment, I must make clear that no child should be reprimanded for using respectful language, particularly when it is based on a reasonable and commonly understood social cue. My child did not intend offence and was clearly acting in good faith.

Compelling children to speak in ways that affirm ideological beliefs they may not hold or to penalise them when they do not, is not only inappropriate, but it may amount to discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. The belief that sex is binary and immutable, and that gender identity should not override biological sex, is a protected philosophical belief as confirmed in Forstater v CGD Europe and reinforced in subsequent case law.

Children have the right to hold and express such beliefs without fear of reprimand, provided they do so respectfully, which, by all accounts, my child did. Forcing them to use terms they do not believe in, or punishing them for using ordinary respectful language, risks crossing into compelled speech and undermines their rights.

I would like to request the following:

• A formal apology to my child for the distress caused.
• Assurance that no further disciplinary action will be taken in such cases where children speak respectfully but do not affirm gender identity beliefs.
• Clarification of the school’s policy regarding pronoun and title usage, and how it aligns with the Equality Act and existing legal precedent.

I trust the school is aware that this is a legally complex and sensitive area, and that safeguarding all pupils, including those who hold gender-critical beliefs, is part of your public sector equality duty. I hope this matter can be resolved quickly and constructively.

Yours sincerely,
[Your Full Name]
[Your Contact Details]
[Your Child’s Name and Year Group]

When I was teaching, I was called Miss, Mam, some times Sir and one memorable occasion, Gran. Teachers are used to been accidentally given the wrong title.

If people are not at peace because they can't accept their biological reality - this is their own problem, not societies. They need therapy.

It is not right, appropriate or even realistic to ask everyone else to obfuscate reality on their behalf. Especially not children.

I'd rather have the one who isn't self-obsessed and teaching the children, as a subtext, not to recognise a person's sex when they see it. Doesn't matter how talented he is, he is a safeguarding danger.

My friend’s son was told off by a teacher at his school for referring to them as ‘Sir’. The teacher is male but identifies as non-binary.

Their title is Mx which the children are aware of. But the little boy simply looked at an adult who is visibly male and used the term Sir.

I have seen this teacher and they are 'masculine' looking but will sometimes wear a skirt and heels.

Friend’s DS felt bad and can’t recall exactly what was said to them but said the teacher was ‘very cross’.

AIBU to think this was mishandled? Surely the child should be reminded gently of the preferred identity of this adult but should not face a telling off?

What is the non-binary version of Sir anyway?

I got called 'nan' a few times while teaching, while I was in my early 20s. A sane adult would just move past an error, even if it's not a flattering one!

Trousers are comfortable and practical so even if the female teacher has short hair, also comfortable and practical, the overall effect is not the equivalent of a male teacher wearing heels and a skirt which are not comfortable and practical clothes by comparison. The male will possibly
look like a fetishist.

Would you rather an excellent teacher who doesn’t wish to be called Sir or a manly male Sir of a teacher that replaces them but is a bad teacher?

Totally. They never just wear a plain t shirt and jeans like millions of women do. It’s all Dick Emery’s Mandy.

So if a female teacher wore male suits every day and had a short back and sides would you consider that a fetish that the school was foistering. It’s just clothes. They just like a skirt and heels occasionally

The teacher @ResisterOfTwaddleRex is highly experienced and talented in their chosen subject. They normally teach older children but will do some lessons with younger ones too. They should definitely be in teaching. I don’t want anyone yo infer that they were ‘inappropriate’. They were just overly stern if the small child came away feeling bad.

I think it really depends on what you determine to be beneficial for society as a whole - I see it the more people are at peace with themselves the better for society as a whole as in my opinion it then translates in less friction.

not sure if you read my post but I did agree with the OP in the sense that the child should have been corrected and not told off/disciplined. I don’t agree with the child being disciplined in this instance.

This

Why is it that whenever a bloke declares his gender as anything other than boring old male, they often insist on dressing in an exaggerated way.

Its almost as if they are seeking attention ..,

No problem with conventions evolving.

But that should only be if it benefits society as a whole.

Here we have a child being disciplined for recognising a man to be a man. Who is that benefitting?

This

Why is it that whenever a bloke declares his gender as anything other than boring old male, they often insist on dressing in an exaggerated way.

Its almost as if they are seeking attention ..,

What an absolute load of bollocks.
Student refers to a man as sir and gets told off for it.

Again - in my opinion just because it’s the “convention of hundreds years of language” doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t consider the possibility of change and evolution. Human nature isn’t static has never been static I mean we evolved from primates over millions of years ago. We don’t know where human existence it will lead until the sun explodes so I keep an open mind with that in mind. Again my opinion - which differs from yours and that is absolutely ok! Not pushing an agenda or claiming my opinion is more valid than yours - only stating how I lead my life.

I wonder if any female primary teachers ever wear a skirt with heels these days? None of my kids teachers did, and they left primary years ago.

What an absolute load of bollocks.
Student refers to a man as sir and gets told off for it.

But the kids KNOW the teachers' pronouns? If they're deliberately doing it then that's disrespectful. Regardless of what your opinions are on the gender debate, it's reasonable to respect a person's right to be addressed as they wish. I really struggle to understand how people can get so angry about the way other people live their lives? I don't believe that a child or an adult should be raked over the coals for misgendering someone as it's obviously hard to distinguish sometimes and there are those in the trans community for example, who are very outspoken and militant about it, but how hard is it to be respectful and kind?
Children should be taught to be kind and accepting of those who are 'different', not taught to think they can make their own decision about who a person is and how they wish to be identified or addressed.
Also describing it as abuse and gaslighting is puerile. Transgender people have existed (visibly or not) throughout humanity since the year dot and in some cultures are accepted or even revered so it's actually not a 'new thing', I'm glad to live in a society where people are becoming more open to being themselves and getting fair treatment.