Always the last to be picked

That is bloody awful. Hugs.

What job and home you have are not important. Who you are as a person is. I want to kick your Mom in the arse.

Do you have friends/other supports in your life?

Very poignant. I guess what you are saying is that the cousins should let it go that they weren't left any of the inheritance and move on.

sure. you say that, but when you're ACTUALLY given £300,000 from an uncle who gave it only to you...you'd likely have the attitude "well ,he left it to ME,, so why should I share it?"

it is very easy to spend/give away other people's money...

@SansaStark90 yes, you are dramatic. And self pitying. Which has a time and a place.

Given how unhappy you are with life, perhaps it’s time for a little less of that and a bit more honesty and action.

I know I'll be flamed for this, but I am going to say it because I really do care and it's rather obvious: you should get yourself assessed for autism. Not saying you have it, saying there's enough there to give very serious thought to assessment.

Why is there such an entitlement that if people inherit money they should share it out. Be honest, most people wouldn't - especially if it was a cousin you aren't close to. The OP shared with her brother. Did he give any of his half to his cousins? I bet he didn't.

Reading your OP made me look for this story for you @SansaStark90

"A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.
The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.
Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.
The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.
Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”
The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”
—
This simple Zen story has a beautiful message about living in the present moment. How often do we carry around past hurts, holding onto resentments when the only person we are really hurting is ourselves.
We all go through times in life when other people say things or behave in a way that is hurtful towards us. We can chose to ruminate over past actions or events, but it will ultimately weigh us down and sap our energy.
Instead we can choose to let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore and concentrate on the present moment. Until we can find a level of peace and happiness in the present circumstances of our lives, we will never be content, because ‘now’ is all we will ever have."

why do you feel the need to point out other's mistakes then? seeing as you suffer greatly from low self esteem, it seems odd you'd pick up on these small things and highlight them

Well, you are dramatic. The fact that you don't see this is even more dramatic then you being dramatic.

This is completely true, but by the same token their time their choice. None of you owe each other anything and maybe they don’t like you. You can’t change them.

focus on yourself but you may need to consider your relationship with them
might have been better if you’d shared the inheritance a bit?

Muphry's law

I'm not sure what you've been hoping for from this thread @SansaStark90 . It started out with you being upset about a range of family interactions, but you don't want to consider where you've misunderstood, nor counselling, nor your impact on situations. It seems more like you're here to argue with other posters now. Is that your coping mechanism, to start up a row?

@SansaStark90 there’s also a typo in your attack on another poster. Which undermines your self-righteousness quite significantly. There’s a lesson there, should you be open to it.

You get out what you put in to relationships.

This has worked out in your favour for your uncle and you are happy to accept it. It has worked out less well with family you don't really see not inviting you to a wedding - the principal is the same though, it's not personal.

You say things like "you would offer a lift," but do you actually invite people placed and given lifts or is it theoretical? People who Invite get invited in return, people who are proactive are included more, and first, by others.

The good news is that this is in your control once you feel up to it.

The tattoo comment could either have been vicious or could have been a way of shutting down a very childish conversation you started, an eye roll response. There's a difference between covering a scar with a tattoo nobody will see and having your whole, unscarred, arm done. 3 months is an unhealthy amount of headspace for a tit-fot-tat interaction, what did you want from the comment you made, there's no good answer?

A tattoo on an arm is going to be seen, one on your back is not.

The way you are responding to people on here @SansaStark90 is giving a clue as to how you come across in real life and what the actual issue is.

I say this as someone with a long term MH issue and PTSD from childhood abuse - you need to take your head out of your arse and realise the only way you are ever going to find the happiness, inclusion and validation you are looking for is by admitting you are part of the problem.

You didn’t deserve your childhood or your mother’s continued behaviour but expecting your cousins, who you barely know, and seem to make no effort with beyond self righteously claiming they had no right to your uncle’s money because you were the only one who was nice to him, to place you at the centre of their thought process for a casual invitation is extremely self centred.

As is the ‘I would do x because I am nice and they are not’ thought process.

Depression and trauma isn’t a free ticket to being treated with kid gloves and being allowed to be a bit of a dick.
You might think you hide it and your public face is funny and care free but I can promise you, it isn’t. Depression deludes us in many ways. I am mortified at what a self centred ass I was at my worst, despite thinking I was hiding it.

Use your money to go to therapy. To learn ways of thinking that don’t centre you as a victim. To put boundaries in place. To learn how to cope with rejection, real or imagined.

Your current state of mind is never going to give you the outcome you want because no one owes it to you. You owe it to yourself to change that way of thinking. No one else is going to change, so you have to.

You’re (see I know the difference too) an utter dick OP.

Seriously.

I never said I am laid back and lovely. My username is just that: a username. Now stop your temper tantrum and behave like a grown up not a petulant child. You seem to be very entitled to other people's time and lifts but have very little understanding for others. Kindly, seek therapy. You will get yourself into a bigger self loathing hole than you already are in. Call me all names you want, I don't mind. But your family have the right to chose wjo they spend their time with. And if you are so dramatic I understand why no one would invite you, yoi go out to have a nice time not to look for flaws and missconstruct everything. I hope it makes sense

People who are depressed often (and I've been there) are very self focused out of necessity. And that's how you come across.
A lot of "if they knew how I felt then they would xyx."
Thing is they don't know how you felt... But you also don't know how they feel. You don't know that they aren't hiding their depression, their fear of driving, their fear of rejection.

It's very easy to say "I would if I was them". But you aren't them, and you don't know their reasons, and you're assuming they know exactly how you feel.

You also use the expression (around giving lifts) "that's just the sort of person I am". Now my prejudice here is I've never known a person say that who isn't self centred and has no idea of how they really come across.
But you didn't offer them a lift!
Surely rather than assume they would offer a lift, if you are the sort of person who always thinks about such things, your reply to the invitation would be "thank you for offering the ticket. In return, let me drive"
That way you'd have been returning a favour and making sure you weren't on your own. So actually you aren't the sort of person who offers.

I don't think that you're being missed out, I don't think you're the scapegoat or less loved and it's not helpful to think you are because it's the depression talking. I've been there and it's not a good place, and you need professional help to climb out because you can't do it on your own.

It wouldn't occur to me to give someone a lift who has a car and drives regularly 🤷‍♀️