Always the last to be picked

@SansaStark90
I’m going to try and write this in the best possible way.
When you are mentally unwell, it’s common to view things through grey tinted glasses. It sounds like you are doing a bit of this here.

There very well may be slight hostility from cousins regarding inheritance, but surely, depending on the amount left, you can appreciate why that would be. Your uncle left you money, presumably for the most part as nice gesture to you, but also as a dig to others, and you will obviously have to deal with the consequences of this action.

Try and think about how else your cousin could have done things regarding this event, if true that the one car was full?
She invited you and your brother? It wasn’t her fault that your brother couldn’t attend. Should she have invited your brother first and only then when he was available said why don’t you ask your sister? Presumably that would have felt more like an after thought?

People say things for all kinds of their own reasons, not because it's objectively true. People aren't oracles of truth. Sometimes they say things deliberately to hurt, sometimes they have their own agenda.

Therapy often makes things worse for a while. If you're not ready for it, that's OK, but the stuff you're not dealing with won't go away.

With the lift... I think people often would not realise what your obstacles are. I would assume and adult person would be able to drive (if they have a license) and walk 15 minutes in a city in their country. If it was an unfamiliar country where you dont speak a language it would be different. If the cousin does not know you all that well and unlike most of the family you are not on social media where they often chat, there is no way of knowing how you internally feel about driving and a walk.

Is a cab an option? Either to the venue from yours or at least from the venue to the car park?

Oh, it’s just my mother. She has an ingrained horror of looking as if she’s ’showing off’, and fails to grasp her adult children are separate people.

But you say this is a cousin you ‘rarely see’. If you don’t know one another well and are only in sporadic contact, have no particular sense she’s fond of you, and you’ve barely gone to any family events for some time, I don’t see why you think you’d be top of her social list, or why she’d somehow know you would be nervous about going or needed a lift. Also, if this is in the same ‘next city’ where you dropped his/her mother three times a week, wouldn’t the cousin assume your happy to drive there?

AIBU isn't the place to share vulnerability, @SansaStark90. Perhaps post again in the mental health section? There's also an ongoing thread for families where there's golden child/scape goat dynamics, in case that feels relevant:

Honestly, I think your head is in a bad place and it won't help you to focus on the minutiae of how other people treat you and read the tealeaves as to whether they like you or not. Are you seeing your GP for your mental health? Taking medication? Getting talk therapy? Doing any self-help?

That's awful.

I had the reverse - my mother never said she was proud of me until I got a Phd scholarship at a top ranked university (not the Phd acceptance stage, just the scholarship).

It sounds like some of your family resent you for having inherited from your uncle.

And it sounds like your mum favours your brother.

Both things really suck, sorry.

I think you need to concentrate on other relationships and friendships, and potentially limit contact with toxic family members for your own well-being.

Do you have a counsellor or therapist you're seeing? If you're feeling really low, please seek real life support today.

Kindly, you are a person, you are not the words other people say about you.

You are giving people - your mum, who can be unkind and unstable - way too much power over you.

Please, please get talking therapy. (It really helped me, and others I know).

OP, I’m sorry you’re feeling so miserable, but I can’t help but feel you’re over-dwelling on negatives, and you seem to have a real complex about your brother.

Rather than focusing on the event invitation, you focus on the lack of an offered lift. Rather than focusing on your uncle’s care for you and his bequest, you focus a cousin not inviting you to a wedding.

(My mother has always been mortified by my successes because she thinks they make her sound as if she’s ’getting above herself’ — it would be nice if she were proud of me, but she is who she is. I once won a major postgrad scholarship and was in the local paper — I overheard her telling an neighbour I was ‘too lazy to get a job’. And both my sisters are considerably better-looking than I am.)

Then it might be a combination of things. Your cousin may not know how much you’re struggling or she may still resent you for the inheritance. Was it a life changing sum of money?

Inheritances (or lack of) can make people act differently.

When did you last invite your cousin to an event and collect her or take her?

Your uncle was free to leave his estate to whoever he wanted, so don’t let it upset you.

Is it possible your mum was joking with the ‘he’s good looking’ comment?

When I invite people out, I don’t typically expect to have to give them a lift.

It’s lovely that you would, but you can’t expect people to be like you.

Can you message them to say you’d like to park next to them at the car park?

Your Op said you want a ‘little tattoo’ hence the confusion.

I imagine the cousins are annoyed that the uncle left everything to you. Not your fault, but could be the reason.

She said yeah, but he’s good looking. Meaning he’d spoil himself but must mean no chance of me spoiling myself

For posters defending the tattoo comment, did you miss this? Completely inappropriate and undermining comment.