Always the last to be picked

If your mum is mentally unwell then you shouldn’t take her comments seriously. Are you in therapy and taking antidepressants for your depression? I was suicidal in my teens so I wouldn’t want to spend my spare time with someone who’s suicidal, especially if they weren’t actively trying to get better. Maybe that’s why people aren’t inviting you to places.

No doubt you've had a difficult upbringing OP, but the onus is now on you as an adult to sort out your mental health. No one else can do that for you.

Your posts are negative, your reactions to normal family situations are quite extreme and your reactions to people on here are extreme.

Looking at the night out another way, you were invited to join a group to attend a event for free. How kind of the family member. You assumed a lift, most wouldn't. You could park next to your relative and walk together.

Exactly. People don’t make things true by saying them. Anyway, we all see things so differently.

But I’m not ‘assuming’ that, @SansaStark90 — I absolutely get that you had a very difficult upbringing (mine was far from ideal and I dealt with CSA, so I’m totally sympathetic to the lingering negative way childhoods can live on in adult lives), and that leaves a mark. I just think that looking for validation from your mother, or a cousin you don’t know that well, isn’t going to help you feel valued. Your uncle clearly loved and valued you, and while dead, he’s also family, surely? And while I e found therapy terribly hard, and uncovered legions of cans of worms, it’s been helpful. Best wishes.

Your mum’s comment about the tattoo is horrible if that is how she said it. The event though doesn’t sound as though it was unreasonable. You assumed wrongly that you would be picked up. You should have checked before going all out and spending on nails etc

You sound like hard work OP. Get over yourself.

You've been invited out, so g out and have fun. They haven't made excuses to not go/uninvited you etc.

Just park next to your family... Then no "walking alone in a strange city" and the like.
Why not offer to take a passenger of theirs in your car as well? Save them squeezing in, gives you a bit of company etc.

Suggest you all meet up for drinks/meal before concert too.

You don't seem to have any understanding of your mums mh difficulties and struggles, multiple hospital admissions and suicide attempts? That would have been awful for you AND your brother, and her sisters as well. However you're asking for kindness and support without offering the same.

Clearly you've been through a lot. Everything you write now has a negative outlook, which suggests not only that you find life hard, but also that you may be tricky for others to spend time with. It looks very much like depression, and I think you really need to get some therapy to help with strategies for how to improve your outlook. Once you have a positive mindset, it will be easier for you to consider if there are underlying issues with your mother meaning you shouldn't see her any more.

Could you not area re to meet and return to the car park together?

If they’ve got a full car, then they can’t accommodate you.

honestly, I don’t think inviting someone to an event means taking them in the car etc.

This. I'm not surprised that your cousins are upset. That's an enormous amount of money. Did you pass anything on to the cousins or keep all of it for yourself and your brother ? I'm surprised they speak to you at all.

Well yes @ImaginedCorners (apologies for the double tag!) But if as in pp if op has constant grey tinted glasses on, or a constant 'everyone is jealous of/against me' they'll always have that 'I'm treated so poorly!' belief.

Not a good reaction to someone who is making perfectly reasonable comments.

OP I don’t doubt that you have had a very hard time especially with your mum’s mental health problems growing up. But you simultaneously don’t want to examine what’s happened in therapy and want other people to sympathise and make allowances. I hope you will try again with another therapist. You deserve to feel better than this and it can happen.

There is a huge difference between a little tattoo to cover a scar, and a huge sleeve. Perhaps your mum isn't keen on tattoos at all but knows how down you are, so gave a positive response to be supportive.

And the night out, just arrange to travel in convoy, park together and return to the cars together. Perhaps one of the others will prefer to travel with you, to avoid being so cramped.

Typo.

And I’m pointing out that you’re focusing on negatives — on the lack of a lift rather than the fact that your cousin suggested you attend an event with them, and on being negatively compared to your brother rather than your uncle’s bequest to you.

Surely there’s another way of looking at this? Your uncle left you enough money to put yourself debt-free through university and buy a house, even after you’d split the money with your brother.That’s huge. I wouldn’t call that being ‘someone who has clearly been treated poorly by her family’?

Well if that's just a tad rude and a rather bizarre response to @ImaginedCorners! 😵‍💫

My dm rang me once to complain that my db hadn’t got a wedding invite to a family wedding.
I pointed out that I didn’t have an invite either.
Dm replied ‘ yes, but nobody likes you.’

Out of my 4 siblings she’s always put me last.
I’ve had to let it go for my sanity.

This response, @SansaStark90, is not remotely justified by Imaginedcorners’ post, which came across as sensible and helpful. Seeing criticism where there is none and getting unpleasant in response will not help you at all.

If you post on AIBU you are likely to get much more critical replies that ImaginedCorner’s post.

Opinion is not the same as fact. Someone's opinion of you is not fact, it's just a view expressed at a point in time for whatever reason.

There is any number of reasons why people say things that are hurtful, from lying, to get a hurt reaction, to keep people miserable, to having a distorted take on reality, to being misunderstood in their attempt at a joke, to being clumsy or unthoughtful with words, to just wanting to hear their own voice or to dominate through coercive control.

I feel for you and am sending you a virtual hug. Maybe see your doctor ?

Here: www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5272966-february-2025-well-we-took-you-to-stately-homes

The second post has lots of information.