Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do phalloplasties actually work?

562 replies

SilverTapz · 11/05/2025 22:38

After wondering about this for a while, I ended up searching phalloplasty online and ended up on a Reddit page where people post their progress. I had never seen one before an was curious, I guess. It was actually quite shocking. People with what looks like no muscle left on their forearms, someone with a necrotic 'scrotum', someone where the stitches were wide open and the tip has turned black and left a gaping hole etc etc. People seem to be commenting saying that they look great, they've made the right decision etc, but honestly they look absolutely butchered. It's scary. And I guess my question is, do they actually function? Some of these people are so young and it's scary what they've done to their bodies. I can't help but think a lot of them will regret the decision. Is it mainly cosmetic? Can they orgasm? Honestly just very shocked by what I've seen!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:27

And this is why mainstream discussion about the problems with the surgery doesn't happy, OP.

Apparently it makes us 'bigots' to do that

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:26

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:23

Listen, I'm really really against this trans teen stuff. Like massively against it. I thought this site was a collection of people who felt similarly and it kind of is. I'm disappointed that the arguments against held by a lot of members are weak though. There isn't consistency on your fears around these issues and so it comes across like you are just bigoted.

Super happy to be called a 'bigot' by clueless people if this is the price of calling out this horrific surgery.

Bikergran · 12/05/2025 08:26

Women can pee standing up, with a bit of practice. Place the flat of your hand above the pubis, pull upwards, then pee. The aim isn't great, and you really need to go commando, but it's handy when you're camping or at a festival with gross toilet facilities.

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:25

Hoppinggreen · 12/05/2025 08:23

Its possible to worry about more than one type of Teen having unecessary surgery

I don't see ant my threads about it and yet everyone is terrified about what trans kids are doing to themselves. It makes no sense at all. If body modification at such a young age is an issue, then it's an issue for all young people modifying their bodies. Not just ones who think they are the wrong sex.

nauticant · 12/05/2025 08:25

Only 8800 people indentify as trans in the UK

"The UK's 2021 census in England and Wales identified 262,000 people who reported a gender identity different from their sex registered at birth. This number represents 0.5% of the adult population (aged 16 and over). Within this group, 48,000 identified as trans man, 48,000 as trans woman, and 30,000 as non-binary."

Athough these numbers need to be treated with caution because the Office for National Statistics (ONS) botched the census by including questions about gender identity that were to suit activists and not the population and were widely misunderstood.

changedusernameforthis1 · 12/05/2025 08:24

Hey, trans man here.
I know of two people who've had this done - one had really good results and can achieve orgasm. The erection has to be done manually (there's a pump to squeeze) but sex is possible and enjoyable for him and his Wife. I haven't seen it, however, so can't comment on the look of it but his arm does look quite bad. .

The other one has to have 2 more surgeries as things went wrong and now has no feeling down there to the point that he has to use a catheter.

I wouldn't have it done myself, unless there was some scientific miracle that could promise I wouldn't lose any feeling afterwards or you know, die on the operating table. Metoidioplasty is another option, but wouldn't be functional for sex.

I think, from what I've heard, phalloplasty is extremely risky and, even if it all goes well, it's a very painful recovery. However it's pretty much glorified by the trans community and in a lot of groups, seen as an "end goal" unfortunately.

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:23

Listen, I'm really really against this trans teen stuff. Like massively against it. I thought this site was a collection of people who felt similarly and it kind of is. I'm disappointed that the arguments against held by a lot of members are weak though. There isn't consistency on your fears around these issues and so it comes across like you are just bigoted.

Hoppinggreen · 12/05/2025 08:23

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:21

Yes! People are dying from BBLs. They are ruining their oral function with turkey teeth. Fillers etc are toxic and are going wrong too. And of course labioplasty (which is illegal as a form of FGM) can cause sexual dysfunction.

It makes no sense to be terrified if what trans teens might be doing while your daughter is walking around with horsey teeth she bought on holiday and her ass expanded with whatever crap they put in it.

Its possible to worry about more than one type of Teen having unecessary surgery

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:23

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:21

Yes! People are dying from BBLs. They are ruining their oral function with turkey teeth. Fillers etc are toxic and are going wrong too. And of course labioplasty (which is illegal as a form of FGM) can cause sexual dysfunction.

It makes no sense to be terrified if what trans teens might be doing while your daughter is walking around with horsey teeth she bought on holiday and her ass expanded with whatever crap they put in it.

The fact that you're comparing this with cosmetic dentistry demonstrate you have got a freaking clue what you're talking about

MayaPinion · 12/05/2025 08:22

Wow, that’s barbaric. How on earth is that even legal, never mind performed by the NHS? Those poor people. How can anyone undergo a procedure with such long term life changing consequences when they already had a fully functioning urinary and genital system? To go through all that to have an inferior bastardized pale facsimile of a penis, to mutilate your body like that, and to be ‘affirmed’ that it’s a desirable outcome of risky and complicated surgery, is horrifying. If anything it highlights the need for much much better mental health support so that people can better accept their bodies.

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:21

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:18

None of those examples you mention are going to affect their sexual function or their normal bladder function - now are they?

Yes! People are dying from BBLs. They are ruining their oral function with turkey teeth. Fillers etc are toxic and are going wrong too. And of course labioplasty (which is illegal as a form of FGM) can cause sexual dysfunction.

It makes no sense to be terrified if what trans teens might be doing while your daughter is walking around with horsey teeth she bought on holiday and her ass expanded with whatever crap they put in it.

ArtTheClown · 12/05/2025 08:21

In that case, read this essay on the subject from someone who is very happy with the results of a phalloplasty procedure.
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/gabriel-mac-essay.html

That is a very troubled person who transitioned after a violent stranger rape in Hait.

My Penis, a Love Story

I didn’t need a penis to be a man. But I needed one to be me.

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/gabriel-mac-essay.html

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:18

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:16

I think that's a silly question while we have so many forms of totally unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Okay so our kids might want to modify their genitals because they believe they are the wrong sex. Our daughters who know they are our daughters, might want to stick plastic and rubber inside them so they have bigger boobs and bum, they might file all their teeth down and put caps over the stubs, they might explode their lips with filler. They might shave off their labia for a smoother look.

None of those examples you mention are going to affect their sexual function or their normal bladder function - now are they?

Hoppinggreen · 12/05/2025 08:18

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:15

In this case though, it's not about 'beauty'.

They're doing it to attempt to pass as a man

Which they won't either because having an (often inert) lump of flesh in your groin cannot make you grow several inches in height, change your hip bones and square your jaw.

MyOliveHelper · 12/05/2025 08:16

GrumpyCatHasFleas · 12/05/2025 08:07

How are drs legally allowed to butcher people in this way ?

I think that's a silly question while we have so many forms of totally unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Okay so our kids might want to modify their genitals because they believe they are the wrong sex. Our daughters who know they are our daughters, might want to stick plastic and rubber inside them so they have bigger boobs and bum, they might file all their teeth down and put caps over the stubs, they might explode their lips with filler. They might shave off their labia for a smoother look.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:15

dogcatkitten · 12/05/2025 08:00

Any plastic surgery can have horrific results, face lifts, breast augmentation, butt lifts, liposuction, there are horror stories for all of these too (not to mention penis enhancement and what I can only describe as huge balls). What people are willing to do to themselves in the name of beauty is unbelievable, but their decision I guess.

In this case though, it's not about 'beauty'.

They're doing it to attempt to pass as a man

moogdroog · 12/05/2025 08:14

Lucelady · 12/05/2025 07:48

I think it is important that people understand what this surgery really means. It's not just wearing male attire and having a few tattoos.
We have allowed self ID for GRC which doesn't require surgery. So after the supreme Court ruling TRA move on to another group of vulnerable people. Very few bio male TW have surgery so they target vulnerable female kids. By 13 there are enough algorithms targeting teenagers with happy 'glitter' stories about their fabulous transgender lives. Add in Stonewall pushing into schools with their agenda and we have a perfect storm. I lost my happy feminine daughter to this ideology eight years ago. I've spent a decade fighting the surgeons knife. After the Cass report the TRAs moved onto universities. It's even harder to monitor the utter sh*te that is discussed there. We cannot legislate adults but we also don't have to be quiet about the utter lies that are told to vulnerable often ND or SEMH young people. I make it my business to read, watch and listen about trans issues. Only 8800 people indentify as trans in the UK but we push it under the carpet at our peril.
Read Chloe Cole if you want to understand the American agenda behind FTM. It's sinister.
Fwiw my daughters friend spent two weeks in hospital with bladder and bowel issues brought on by testosterone.
I hope she is not planning more modifications.

The 8800 you quote is only those with GRCs, which isn't a necessary step in identifying as trans (or accessing any type of surgery). The scale of trans identified people is much, much higher but we don't know exactly.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 12/05/2025 08:14

TheOriginalEmu · 12/05/2025 04:23

The absolute hysteria over trans people on this website is…I don’t know if it’s funny or just really sad. And it’s quite clear from the way replies are worded that most of the people responding don’t actually have a thought of their own, they just parrot back responses they’ve seen on this app.
Mumsnet used to be a great place to visit, but it’s totally jumped the shark these days.

So why are you here? We’re no longer afraid to call out this insidious ideology, it’s been proven repeatedly that it’s regressive, misogynistic and homophobic. For those of us who are mothers we seek to protect our children from ghouls who encourage them to butcher their perfectly healthy bodies, in order to become something that they can never be, the opposite sex.
We will never stop calling this out, using facts and the law if necessary, because both of those things are on our side. These young people are being horrendously failed, they need mental health intervention, not affirmative, unproven and irreversible medical intervention.

Call us whatever you like, patronise us, scold us, we will remain unmoved and steadfast in the face of this insanity.

TheKeatingFive · 12/05/2025 08:11

WhitneyPooston · 12/05/2025 03:08

Trans people having these surgeries are aware of the risks, and the fact that the penis they end up with won’t function like a ‘real’ one. For some, the risk is worth it to not feel uncomfortable in their body whenever they go to the toilet, get undressed etc.

As a cis person I am grateful that I don’t have to weigh up the pros and cons of such a procedure, having a high-risk surgery with high rates of complications and lack of functionality vs. feeling so awful in my own skin that it’s unbearable to look at myself in a mirror.

Many of my trans friends have had top surgery (self funded in most cases) but won’t have a phallopasty due to the risks (some of which you’ve seen yourself). It’s such a personal thing and I feel sad for people born with gender dysphoria, because to most people the risks are just way too high to ever consider it.

Would also recommend a hobby that doesn’t involve looking at random strangers’ genitals on Reddit.

Unfortunately the tales of detransitioners doesn't bear this out

Trans people having these surgeries are aware of the risks, and the fact that the penis they end up with won’t function like a ‘real’ one. For some, the risk is worth it to not feel uncomfortable in their body

Hoppinggreen · 12/05/2025 08:11

GrumpyCatHasFleas · 12/05/2025 08:07

How are drs legally allowed to butcher people in this way ?

By calling it "gender affirming care"

Moonmelodies · 12/05/2025 08:09

You can tell on that sub-Reddit forum even the phallopians know it's a scam - because any comments questioning the wisdom of the procedure, or even the use of certain words like 'outcome' or 'results', get met with deletions and banning from the sub. It's a proper 'Emperor's New Clothes' arena.

GrumpyCatHasFleas · 12/05/2025 08:07

How are drs legally allowed to butcher people in this way ?

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 12/05/2025 08:05

TheOriginalEmu · 12/05/2025 04:16

It’s not different, because to s trans person there is something massively wrong with their body. A persons mental health is as much a medical reason as any other. We have been doing ‘cosmetic’ surgery for mental health reasons for a long time now.

It doesn’t make it ethical or morally acceptable, it’s experimentation on mostly ND young people, it’s barbaric.

dogcatkitten · 12/05/2025 08:00

Any plastic surgery can have horrific results, face lifts, breast augmentation, butt lifts, liposuction, there are horror stories for all of these too (not to mention penis enhancement and what I can only describe as huge balls). What people are willing to do to themselves in the name of beauty is unbelievable, but their decision I guess.