DH’s defence of his calamitous weekend - am I ‘nagging’?

See, this is that some men do when they've checked out but don't quite have the balls to say so - they behave so disrespectfully that you have no option but to leave them and then they make out it's your fault because you 'nagged' them. In other words, you expected them to behave like a decent husband and father.

The comment about the other woman would be the end for me - I couldn't get back from that and nor would I want to.

Honestly, I have not RTFT but....just end this marriage to this pointless person. See this weekend as the final straw and the last time you have him as your extra child.

He brings nothing and makes sure you are to expect even less in the future.

Get him gone and stand in the light. This is no life.

It's the kids that matter. It's a shame OP married a waste of space, but she did and if he won't step up then sadly it's up to her to make sure there's something in the cupboard to give the kids a meal.

If she dumps him — and no one would blame her — then she'll need to be a lot better organised.

But they did plan in advance? Or at least OP did: one of them goes to the shop to get something for dinner. She was busy doing other things so asked him to go. That’s a plan. Not her fault he didn’t bother til after the supermarket closed and instead of finding a co-op/Sainsburys local he went to a petrol station and came back with useless shit.

It's been around for ages, its so self explanatory.

No, but if two adults raising children can't plan meals in advance and shop for them in advance and have a few store cupboard supplies for emergencies, it speaks to a chaotic, tense and insecure set-up for children to be raised in. The children should come first.

I live semi-rurally and I have two Co-ops open till 9pm on a Sunday within a three mile drive.

So he’s useless and the OP should make a list of chores and divide them. But she also shouldn’t micromanage him. (She didn’t btw, she asked that he sort dinner out for the family) Which is it? It seems like a woman’s place is firmly in the wrong whatever she does.

For a while it was ‘I’ve got no skin in the game’

Large shops, i.e. supermarkets are only allowed to open for six hours on Sundays in England and Wales. Most open 10-4; the odd ones in retail parks open 11-5, due to Sunday trading laws. If you don't have a smaller 'Tesco Express' or similar in the area (which is always more expensive) you are left with newsagents, petrol stations etc. after 4 on Sunday. I believe the laws are different in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

It's not an efficient or sensible way of living when you have children and are clearly under stress. And what does it say about a family that they are shopping meal to meal, with nothing in the fridge or freezer for an emergency, reduced to eating odd packets of whatever's available from the local garage? It speaks to a generally chaotic, unstable family — besides all the UPFs the children are being fed.

If the OP separates from her husband she'll need to be a lot more organised than she is at the moment. None of this detracts from the fact that her husband is vile and not a good influence for the children to grow up with.

Because there’s two adults in the household?

Sounds like a lot of tension. The food shops are a poor job from him, but I’m also confused why all of these shops are so last minute, on the day that the food is needed. It’s very disorganised. Maybe that was something that frustrated him as well? Whatever the reason there needs to be a serious conversation to air out frustrations, and perhaps some teamwork on better time management all round.

The comment about the woman is just so disrespectful as well, I would be disgusted at that too.

It's not inefficient to shop for food when you need it so it's fresh. Loads of people around the world do that, we don't all like to buy a week's worth of food and shove it in a fridge.

This happens loads of places. Does not make anywhere the "arse end of nowhere." Although some of us do live rurally and that is actually allowed and does not make our homes arse ends.

Why should she, so he can stay bad at it forever and use that as an excuse to never do it?

Is a job a woman's by default unless there's an iron-clad defence for a man doing it?

Are you in the UK? I'm in one of the major cities and all our large supermarkets shut at 4 on a Sunday. It's only the little Express mini supermarkets open later or independent newsagents.

He sounds useless but equally I wonder why the food can’t just be bought in one go rather than many small in efficient trips. You need a literal list of chores that you can split and do as a team. He sounds useless but your way of doing it sounds in efficient and he probably feels micromanaged

He sounds like an utter dickhead

@Azureshores over twenty years.

My Dad was like this.

I grew up thinking he hated us (he did) With a severe eating disorder and self esteem issues. By the time I hit my teens the conflict was unbearable in the house.

If you think it is bad now, fast forward to the teen years, by that time your dc will have had enough, and the damage will be done.

No one deserves to live in an environment of such total disrespect.

Ugh He’s disgusting. So blatantly disrespectful.

Fucking useless and a leery creep to boot.

Supermarket closing at 4? What arse end of nowhere do you live in?

Mine's open till 10 both weekend days.

Nagging is merely the repetition of unpalatable truths. Not sure who first said that. Women generally "nag" when men treat them like dirt. Not always, but usually, the man can fix "nagging" by behaving like a decent adult.

I couldn't put up with that. My husband would be crucified if i caught him staring at any woman.

If you been together for a while he should know what to get for a picnic. Also neal prepping would go far for you as a family. Save wasted money.

You arr nagging but it seems like therr are too many issues here. It is crazy. How long you been married? Was he always this way?