To say this idea is stupid and to tell DH I don't want to entertain it?

It's a difficult situation.

Making stepkids uncomfortable (which they have indicated that they are if they have to share a room) is not a great plan. They aren't little, they have opinions and they've said they don't want to share. If you force them, they may not wish to stay overnight with you. I expect your DH is afraid of this scenario.

A 3yo doesn't need their own room. They are perfectly happy in with their parents.

I would leave the 3yo in with you. I don't really see the issue with 3 empty rooms 5 nights a week because the 3yo isn't in need of one. A 3yo is little more than a baby.

My dc are adult. Both were still in with us at 3yo. They liked it.

I would leave the 3yo in with you until you do a loft conversion.

Because kids, even when they become adult, can need to be with their parents for years and years and years. It's exceptionally expensive to move into their own places and just because one turns 18, it doesn't mean they just leave.

Additionally if the 15yo is studying for GCSEs, I doubt he will welcome the 12yo into his room. Plus (sorry) teenage boys can wank for england. They need their own rooms.

It’s not ideal but you should prioritise each child having their own room
So essentially buy a house with enough bedrooms or do the loft conversion

Do your DSS share a room at their mums home?

I'd be interested to know that too. But essentially, the people that live in the house 7 days out of 7 get the priority of rooms...is that not glaringly obvious??? He genuinely thinks all three permanent residents squeeze into bedroom 1 every night, leaving 3 empty bedrooms for 5 days a week?

Is he always a fuckwit?

I suspect this is the case too.

It's only 2 nights per week, plenty of children permanently share with siblings, it's fine.

I couldn't agree more. There was a recent thread exactly like this. It's absolutely fine for DSS to share a couple of nights a week. Your DS needs a bedroom.

This would make me so mad, that I would actually consider splitting up. If he wants his kids to have their own rooms two nights a week so much, then let him pay for a house for them and you can go and live the life that you and your son deserve. You pay half the mortgage and yet you are still sleeping with a 3 year old. You have the chance to have your bedroom back, and he tells you that his kids need the rooms? Tell him that he needs to come up with a better reason other than the DSS don't want to share any more. And they are of an age where they probably won't want to keep coming for a few nights a week anyway. If he still insists, then tell him to bugger off. If you views are not heard, then what is the point.

I can see why you feel protective over your DS, it’s really unfair that he has to share a room with you in his own and only home while two other rooms sit empty 5 nights of the week.

Do your DSS share a room at their mums home?

Of course he’s being an idiot and your child needs his own room, I wouldn’t have got a House without enough rooms but absolutely someone who is there 2 nights per week should be the ones who share over the kid that has NO OTHER BEDROOM. But MN is batshit over this kind of thing and you will absolutely be the wicked witch of the west of you don’t insist your child sleeps in the cupboard under the stairs whilst your step kids ( poor kids) live in luxury!!

For only two nights a week they can absolutely share. It's daft having your 4 year old in your room. I can't believe you were doing that full time anyway. He could have gone in the other bedroom for most of the week then just come into your room when his half brothers were visiting.

You shouldn’t have bought a house that doesn’t adequately house all your joint children. I know step children are annoying - I was one - several step mothers, some nice, some not - but that’s the way it is when you get together with an older man who’s already had 3 kids.

your ds needs his own room. We put sd in the box room here - those that are in the house more need more space

Ridiculous of your dh! At 3 you have got plenty of toys and you need space to play. He's there all the time. If your DH feels guilty it's misdirected. He's youngest seems to be forgotten.

Could be 18 minths at least before you get the loft done. Can you add a garden den room for ss as a quick fix to give them a little hang out as a compromise?

I wouldn't even entertain the discussion and make it clear your child WILL have their own room in the new house YOU are also buying, especially because your DC lives there full time and has never had a room of his own or even to share with a sibling! YOU also need your own space away from all of the DCs.

I would die on that hill.

Mine would hate to share at that age. The teenage years are hard and sharing makes it worse.
So in that sense I understand they would like to have a bedroom each.
And I'm sure your dh feels guilty for only having them 2 days a week .
I would just get the attic done ASAP so they don't have to share to long.
Unless you are hoping by that time they won't want to be staying anyway and the idea never happens

Cautionary tale - friend of ours didn't evict their toddler from their bedroom. Aged 10, he is still in their room and cannot be convinced that he should be in his own room. I suspect this will resolve once he properly hits puberty. It has been a rod they made for their own backs, but a hugely challenging one for their own lives as a couple.

Why don't you give everyone their own bedroom and you & DH sleep in the living room? And no sex until you have a room to yourselves with no chance of being interrupted?

Ffs, I shared a room with 2 siblings until I left home at 19. Your husband is ridiculous

Tell the DSC that when the loft conversion is done there will be a good sized room and a small shower room up there and that one of them will be in line for it, - but only if they carry on the current arrangements until that happy day dawns.

I think the risk is that the DSS will start to not want to come and stay. I wonder if that is what your husband is worried about?

Yeah, that is entirely possible. Or he and his brother might share at their mum's (I shared as a child and teenager and hated it, but sometimes it's unavoidable). I guess what I'm saying is he's not at his dad's the majority of the time, so space to study is less essential than if it was his main home

For gods sake. Your DH is being ridiculous! Stepdaughter may not even need her own room in a few years if she moves out.

Give your 3 year old his own room! You shouldn’t be sharing a room still at this age. It’s ok co sleeping but he still needs some space to read and play!

Absolutely not when the room would only be used 2 nights a week. Really unfair on your own child not having a bedroom whilst 3 would sit empty more than half the week. Plus i’m surprised they all still sleep over 2 nights at that age. Maybe that’s what your DH is worried about, but that’s natural and likely would happen anyway. I doubt you’ll have to do an extension as they will probably just start to pop over soon and not stay the night. You’ll have to put your foot down here.

Will the 17 year old SD be going to university in September this year, or next? Just wondering if she will be moving out anyway, and only home in holidays.

He has his own space. In his other home. DS3 needs his own space somewhere