To say this idea is stupid and to tell DH I don't want to entertain it?

You are confusing me with someone else.

You know nothing about the reasons for why they chose to have a child when they did. Maybe it was unplanned? And before you say they could have terminated, this would be a dreadful reason. Or the OP is approaching her final years of fertility, so waiting several more years was not an option?

Apart from that, they do have space, just not as much as your idealistic scenario. I assume you are aware of how much house prices have risen in the last couple of decades?

Yeah anymore than 3 is always going to be difficult. Thats why i said three max, plus they fit in the back of a normal car 😂

Same for me but not because it's outrageous to expect that! Plenty of kids do share but when I was growing up the families I knew had two kids and 3 bed houses, it's a bit different when you start bringing 4 kids of different ages into ykr equation. The older kids are going into adulthood, if they need on an odd occasion to sleep at parents it's going to be individually, they will need one spare bedroom not a choice of 6 assorted rooms between each house!

Surely its a choice to have a child you dont have room for though?! Thats what baffles me. They chose to have another knowing they had no room. And as you said in a further reply, two are almost adults and may not want to stay anymore/go away to uni/get their own place so they could have waited to have another? Then they would have had this issue 🤷🏼‍♀️

Two of these people are nearly adults they won't need a permanent bedroom each because they are no longer children! They are not going to stay with dad two days a week together when they are nearly grown up! They aren't small children and will be probably going their separate ways!

I find it odd that that people think these 3 step kids who are nearly at a stage of being at uni or in a place of their own should have 6 barely used bedrooms between them at the two houses and the OP and the 3 year old should be refused the right to have one bedroom each!

If you are so easily baffled, perhaps you need to step outside of your sheltered life and look at how vast swathes of the population are living. Something sounding bloody awful doesn't mean it isn't the reality for many. And there isn't always the luxury of choice, as you had.

Anyone who doesn’t live in a privileged bubble must know children who share a room. It’s a totally normal situation and rarely this dramatic. Was just watching sort your life out on the bbc and they created a beautiful room for a set of teenage triplets and no one suggested anyone was horrified at the idea of these boys sharing a room.

its genuinely surprising to me. And no - my kids don’t share. But plenty do their friends do, including one of my daughter’s friends who shares with her sister by choice - they have 3 bedrooms but the girls have never wanted to use the 3rd one despite it being available to them for a decade now. It’s a sort of reading and craft space for them now and they are 13/15.

also confused as to why you’d prioritise a part time 19 year old in your house over a 5 year old. Seems totally backwards.

I moved from my mum’s to my dad’s at 19 and he bought a house so there was space for me. My mum immediately downsized. I never expected either of them to have a bedroom just sitting there just in case. If things happened differently and I needed to move back to my mum’s we’d have figured it out. No need to live in anticipation of disaster.

The older two are going to be there less and less and maybe not at all by the time the renovations are complete! The days of staying there as a threesome are coming to end! It will likely be rare that they all stay with dad at same time because the older two will have lives of their own to live!

Sharing will probably be an increasingly infrequent occurrence because that's what adulthood is!

You realise they are their fathers children too? They presumably have clothes at their mother's so should their father not provide them? Should the mother supply the food too as they'll have that at their mothers so why have it at their fathers too 🙄

Thats very subjective. It was not normal for me or for my children. Or to be honest any of my friends children.

They already have rooms at their mothers.

Wow.

You do realise that it's quite normal for siblings to share a room?

So dh thinks its rught the dsc effectively get 2 full bedrooms each and ds gets no bedroom! Stay firm op - for 2 days a week the dss can share. Yanbu

Mine are over 20 but will have rooms in my house until they buy their own properties

Your not being over dramatic your looking out for your dc because his dad isn’t. I think the fact he’s willing to give his dc a room each says he doesn’t have much respect for you either. If I was you I would say if you’re not getting your own room and your dc is still going to be sleeping with you there’s no point moving. It should be him telling his kids as you are the paying adults you need your own room which means your dc is to have a room otherwise why would his kids get there own rooms for you to carry on sharing. I think he needs a reminder of who’s paying the mortgage and bills and it’s not his dc. Don’t take this crap they are only for a short time every week not 247.

I just find it baffling, i'm one of three and none of us shared and my three didnt share either (oldest now moved out now). I would have hated sharing and i wouldnt put it on mine either. Especially as a teen to be fair, it sounds bloody awful!

It does have enough rooms! Plenty of kids share. And in this situation they're only having to share for 2 nights a week!

Exactly this. Why add another child when they didnt have room and buy another house that still doesnt have enough rooms 🥴

Zero choice of me entertaining this. How long are you meant to share with your 3 year old?! You've done well to last this long, as l know l couldn't. It's tough your step sons need to share.

Kick the child out his bedroom cos his more important brother is here!!!

Honestly this is so stupid I can barely bring myself to type why, but I think you know it's stupid - ignore him.

Unfortunately not the first thread on Mumsnet I've seen where I've seen people suggest the youngest child stays in with parents in perpetuity just so a stepchild doesn't have to share with a sibling.

Just bloody say no. We moved house so the child could have a bedroom. You already have a bedroom, even if it is shared with your brother, which is fine.

No, I'd ideally keep their bedrooms though behind age 18. I agree the DSs should share and the younger DC have own room. I just disagree with the idea that once (if) kids go to uni at 18,they won't need a room any more. Sometimes things go wrong and they need to come home. I also don't agree that their room at their father's is less needed than at their mum's

Of course :-) I think 18 is young though to not have a bedroom at home any more.

If he keeps bringing up his daft idea, you keep smiling....basically ignoring it.
And move into the new house and set up 3yo room exactly as YOU want it.
Nothing needs to be said or agreed upon...just do it OP.