WIBU (or mad) to give up my car in these circumstances? any tips?

So @Blueandblack2 you presumably have bigger issues here. Your 'D'H isn't the father of your children and has no interest in helping you to support them, either financially or on a day to day level, right?

It’s not irrelevant because he is not financially responsible for those children.

And I repeat, a woman posting that she was being expected to pay 50%- or more- of the bills when living with her partner & 2 stepkids would be being told she was being taken for a mug and to insist she is NOT paying for those kids.

I don't think that really matters TBH.

They are married, what kind of husband would insist on 50/50 split preventing their wife from having access to a much needed vehicle, any hobbies because she can't get to them and unable to claim any benefits because of his high wage which he won't share.

A financially abusive one, that's who.

It's irrelevant whether the children are his or not really. If they aren't and he wasn't prepared to be a family with two SEN kids he shouldn't have married a woman with two SEN kids.

It absolutely is relevant because a woman posting that she was living with her husband & 2 step kids paying 50% of the bills would be told she is being mugged off and paying for someone else’s children.

Blended family finances can’t be compared to those where it is all one family and joint kids.

Just to echo everyone else your husband is a piece of shit and you may well be better off without him. You certainly would be emotionally.

I don't think it's relevant when they're married.

The PIP isn't for paying your share of household bills though. It's to assist with things like needing to have a reliable vehicle.

What's the plan for when DC turns 18? If they move on into any kind of supported living or 18 -25 LD college their PIP will go with them?

These are strong comments when OP still hasn’t confirmed whether or not the children are her husband’s.

Forcing you to give up your car also takes away that tiny bit of freedom you have. It's not just about money it's about control.

OP, your DH is financially abusing you.

He's not part of the problem he IS the problem.

Have you actually checked? PIP isn't means tested and can be claimed from the age of 16. DLA also isn't means tested and can be claimed for teens under the age of 16.

Both contain a mobility component which can be used to put towards a vehicle for the purposes of transporting them around.

If your husband has a high salary then you can still claim the child benefit for yourself to have and he would pay it back in his tax return. I'm sure from what you've said he would kick off about that but he's not exactly left you much choice due to his financial abuse of you.

I bet you would be better off financially leaving him. Doesn't sound like he brings much to the party TBH.

OP are the kids also your husband’s?

That is a really important fact here.

So your partner earns more than you, and your earning potential is limited by you having to provide childcare for his children, but he would rather see you and your children suffer than assist financially? Start billing him for the hours you’re providing childcare and use it to fix your car.

Have a LTB!
Assuming these are his children; he is a selfish arsehole; 50/50 yet your work is limited due to shared DC needs - this is not okay OP! 💐

Tell your DH if you have to go 50/50 on everything then that includes looking after the kids and he has to be back for the taxi for half the week so you can work more to afford to live!

So you go 50/50 on everything even though you earn very little?

So your husband is a cunt?

There’s no way any good husband would let the mother of his children cycle 24 miles three times a week, because she can’t afford to run a car, while he stashes away all his cash or spends it on god knows what.

Darling, you’re being financially abused. Your H earns more because you look after his children and yet he won’t share the costs of the raising them, which includes a car to drive them to appointments.

and he’s abusing you with 50/50 as you earn less while he feathers his nest.

i would run a calculation for what benefits you’d get without him plus child support and see if you’re better off

I’m sorry he’s so awful. You sound wonderful by the way

50/50 on everything, but you’re part time as you’re looking after his children including on with special needs? Just no.

this is financial abuse and a bigger issue than the car atm.

you’re married and have children everything should be put in the one pot. If he’s not prepared to do this then I would consider separating. Do some sums and I’m sure you would be better off after tax credits and child support. Your husband would also be worth off, this should be pointed out to him.

This is financial abuse op.

I’d honestly consider looking at what your finances would be like if you split up. He’s being grossly unfair insisting on splitting all expenses 50:50 when he earns more and his presence in the household is stopping you from getting additional help.