WIBU (or mad) to give up my car in these circumstances? any tips?

If you earn just over the carer’s allowance threshold, is it actually worth you working? Or do you need to work for your own mental health?

Also, your husband is a twat. How much does he earn? Does he have savings? Does he cover expenses for the kids?

So he earns more than you and therefore has more free money to spend or save as he likes whilst you also work, ferry your child round to hospital regularly and have to struggle financially.

Where is the team effort in this? If he won’t have a joint account and pool all family money together you need to AT LEAST be splitting bills by wage percentage. Not 50/50. You should set up a joint account where all bills come out of including food shopping, car expenses etc and you both put in the same percentage of your wages. I still don’t see this as fair but it’s better than the shit deal you’re getting now.

Your issue here is your asshole of a husband, not your car.

If he out earns you why are you going 50/50 on the house and bills etc? You’re a family, your money should be a joint pot not you wondering if you should get rid of your bloody car and biking 24 miles to work and getting taxis to hospital with your child.

Focus on the real issue at hand which is your “Darling” husband.

Keep the car and get rid of the husband.
In fact, divorce him & get a better car.
He is an appalling man who is showing you zero respect or love.
I don’t know how you can be civil to him.
Im getting the ick just thinking about him.

PLEASE - sort it out or get rid of him. You deserve so much better.

Your husband is a disgusting shitty human being. What would happen if you said that you have worked out your fair share of the bills and you will be putting that into the family pot in future? Do you think he'd leave you?

Your husband is an utter tosspot. Tell him to do 50:50 childcare if he wants 50:50 finances.

I bet he's got her paying specific bills which are in her name (e.g. the water) so if she doesn't pay them it's just her that gets taken to court.

Claim the child benefit OP. You will be getting it for the best part of a year before you have to mention it to him for his tax return.

DH has a company car so the family car is "mine". However, if his company car was taken away (always possible), then "my" car would be our only car and we likely couldn't afford to just buy another one for him, at least not straight away.

So therefore, "my" car is actually "our" car, because it quite simply is OUR car.

Your DH needs to understand that. And understand that this is the car ferrying his children around and therefore he has a responsibility to make sure his family are safe and able to get where they need to.

And if he doesn't, maybe you need a new patio.

Where is the rest of the money he earns? Do you have access to all accounts?

Are you currently driving an expensive or financed car? If so could you sell it to release some cash and buy a cheaper one of FB marketplace?

If eldest cannot even take a familiar journey unaccompanied they are entitled to enhanced mobility PIP.

Maybe look into getting this reviewed and then then exchange it for a mobility car.

the money you gain back in servicing, MOT and tax and insurance should cover the bills the low rate pip pays for.

This is why you get enhanced for someone with such severe needs - because not having a car means they can’t access the community

Another vote for... your finances aren't the problem, your husband is!!

so the bulk of the cost is repairs because it's so old. You need a newer but still cheap car and that will elimate most of that cost.

And you husband should be supporting you to buy it! Is he really going to let you give up a car you need when he earns a good salary and yours is low because you care for your children? Completely selfish.

This is your problem, OP, what an absolute arse. So he's happy for your life to get harder/more complicated? Yuck.

ETA: just seen he insists you go 50/50...that is financial abuse, and I'm so sorry you're in that position. I would first insist 50/50 then means that for everything, including childcare, so you have the opportunity to increase your earnings. If he won't agree to that (which of course he won't), please, please leave him. You will be better off, and you won't be being abused by a complete cunt of a man. @Blueandblack2 I am so angry on your behalf, how dare he.

I’d honestly be wary of when both turn 18, this behaviour is of someone who is planning something/protecting hiding £.

Divorce and then you can get 50% of everything

@Blueandblack2what would happen if you just refused to put in as much money as you do now ?

It is abuse. She has to pay 50/50. They are married , they are his kids. She can’t earn more because she has to be home for the kids.

They are HIS kids

Well, if he won’t budge, go full time and let him deal with the kids, cause you’re a bit busy earning enough.
I’m really angry on your behalf.

Op. You are going 50/50 with someone on a good salary while you work part time??

you have no money because your DH is basically robbing you. It’s absolutely bloody ridiculous.

why are you expected to take the financial hit of childcare if DH won’t pitch in with costs. Better to go full time and split childcare time/costs. What a fucking grift from him

I posted 3 mins after you realised, your reply when realising was obviously not loaded on my screen

From what you've said the car is a family necessity. Your partner earns good money and is full time, you are part time due to your family needs and yet he is insisting on 50/50. Is there enough money as a family if he stepped up his contributions?

You are a family, they are his kids. How would he react if you said I need a car and more flex in my budget and therefore will be reducing my contribution by x? Do you both pay into a joint account? Are you at risk of violence?