MIL trying on my engagement ring

I remember loads of people trying mine on when I got engaged! They were just excited for me, I never thought a single thing of it.

You’re being a little silly.

My ring now feels tainted because someone else has worn it and being someone I don't have a good relationship with.
Grow up. It's a ring
She tried it on not shit on it.
She said it was nice.
It's not tainted.
You are the issue here.

OP has already got children. She has said:

'She is like this with me and our DC. Very imposing and lots of issues with crossing boundaries.'

Oh for goodness sake. You never stop being a parent, whatever age your child.

To overlay Freudian theories into the mix here is ridiculous and basic, and very insulting towards your MIL too.

Sounds like your attitude towards your MIL needs work.

I agree and when pregnant with her partner's babies, won't the OP have the MiL's genes inside her own uterus for 9 months? Maybe that requires wafting some burning sage up her floof?

Karma is nonsense and unless the MiL has Ringworm, the ring won't be 'tainted'.

I was going to mention this tradition.

I was told that the rules are that you can't wish for a man* or money, but you CAN wish for a nice MIL.

• Think this tradition long pre-dates the Irish acceptance of same sex partnership!

Brilliant!

"Let's not make a non-issue an issue here"
Well, absolutely. And her trying the ring on and saying lots of complimentary things about it is the biggest non-issue here.

Maybe she's also trying to improve your relationship with her and this was her slightly clumsy way of trying to be nice about it?
And her holding the children isn't going to be the non-issue you think it is, if you're this bothered by her wearing a ring. Won't she imbibe your children with negative woo energy or something if she cuddles them? Even if she doesn't, sounds like you will be finding fault with when/how/why she's holding them etc given you've already got "issues" with boundaries and second parenting.
Sounds like you've become primed to interpret everything she does as negative.

I think would probably pay to have it professionally cleaned.

You must find life hard.

You’re searching for reasons to resent your MIL. But why?

YABVVVVVVVVVVR (R = Ridiculous) 🙄

If you believe in bad karma then you need to stop being so negative. She tried on the ring because it's a lovely ring, she didn't harm it. Another person loving your symbolic piece of jewellery is good karma.

Come on it’s going to need more than that. I reckon exorcism at the very least.

Well it's weird she helped herself to it. If you think it's tainted because someone tried it on, you would not cope in Ireland. Once you announce it to your mam, aunties etc everyone has a try on, swirls it 3 times and makes a wish for you. I think it's a cute tradition but would probably have you running for the hills.

Being annoyed with MIL is fine - it's a weird thing for her to do, and no normal person would try someone else's engagement ring on, even with permission. The tainted thing and bad karma thing is a bit bonkers on your part. She's out of order, but you're over-reacting.

At first I was going to say you’re being silly, but I like my MIL so I imagined someone who I didn’t like trying on my ring and it boiled my piss.

Your ring isn’t tainted though. She may well have done it because she knew it would annoy you, so don’t let it bug you.

Well I’m Irish so it’s tradition that other females try on your ring and make a wish. It’s thought to bring the newly engaged couple good luck. Pure crock of shite but I had loads of people make a wish on mine. Still married so don’t think karma got us too bad

Think your being a bit precious to think of it as tainted

I'm not overly keen on my MIL and might be vaguely irritated if she tried on my ring, but I think your reaction is utterly ludicrous. If she had tried on your knickers, then you might have a point. But it's a bloody ring. Bit of a clean with an antibacterial wipe if you're worried about germs or whatever. Then get on with your life. Jeez.

I get it. It’s like when animals mark their territory. She’s made a power play, but all you have to do is metaphorically throw the ball right back to her. If you believe in energy then read up on the martial arts that deal with energy as a defense. You can block energy, grab energy, redirect energy, move away from energy. It’s fascinating stuff, and will allow you to maintain your power.

🤣

In a sense, if you let this bother you she has “won”. Focus on how much lovelier it looks on you, how special you are that your partner chose such a beautiful ring for you, the symbolism that it represents when it is on your finger etc. rather than letting her take up your headspace and creating negative thoughts about it.

Have you had a proper talk with DP and discussed how you're going to manage this in future? Because as PP say, it isn't going to get better. And when you get married she may be even worse. It would be (to her) the proof that you've stolen her son from her.

As I said, I'm not trying to blow up my relationship with mil or make a mountain out of a molehill. Im trying to heal it for everyone's sake.

I think that's a nice and quite generous thing for you to want to do. What are you doing to try to make that happen? But you can't heal the relationship on your own. She has to want to do the same and it doesn't sound like that's her style. You've said she's like this with everyone, you're not a one-off.

You need to be on the same page with DP about this and you need to know he has your back. Writing it off as 'that's just how she is' is a bad sign. You have to set boundaries and he has to be on board.

She tried on your ring, not your underwear. You need to chill and stop wasting your energy trying to be offended.

You're being ridiculous. It's a circle of metal. There's no such thing as karma.

Actually some work colleagues that I'm not overly fond of but if they wanted to admire my gorgeous ring given by my lovely now hubby then I couldn't care less if they tried it on. It's my ring leading to my bright future