MIL trying on my engagement ring

So burn some sage around it.

She hasn’t had a sneaky try on, she waited til you got back in to show you she was trying it on. I’d have told her it wasn’t on, tbh. Me and 3 family members all did a swap and tried on each other’s rings last time I saw them, difference being that I love them all. Someone I didn’t like picking up my ring and trying it on then not immediately relinquishing it would piss me right off.

You wash negative vibes with tap water, that’s not very woohoo is it? No incense?no incantation?
imagine if you can cleanse crystals of bad vibe , apply that to world leaders. We could cleanse world diplomacy by putting all the dictators under cold shower. Splash away those pesky despots

The ring is an inanimate object. Let’s not big up the ring

😂😂😂

Put it in a safe container like a big sieve and leave it under running water, just cold from the tap is fine, that's how I was shown to remove the negative vibes from crystals. Then never leave it within her reach again. How very rude of her.

😂They can.

(His Dad was lovely though, & thankfully DH took after him.)

Yes, all of it.

You're being your own worst enemy here. You say she's been horrible in the past but you went round anyway. Just stop. Either leave DP to have his own relationship with her, or get involved and suck up the consequences.

Not sarcasm. OP is uncomfortable with thinking about who has worn her ring. This is giving her another way to look at it to try to help her feel better. If it helps her, what does it matter?
Clearly is doesn’t work for you but you’re not the one struggling with this
Maybe in that case op would be better having therapy to help with the way she things. She is going to have a hard life if she believes in negative energy coming from everyday objects because someone she doesnt like has touched them.
That would be more useful than thinking things like ' the ring won' and ' she was defeated' and other such nonsense. The ring didn't win anything, mil didn't go to battle and was conquered.

Not sarcasm. OP is uncomfortable with thinking about who has worn her ring. This is giving her another way to look at it to try to help her feel better. If it helps her, what does it matter?

Clearly is doesn’t work for you but you’re not the one struggling with this.

But, I would also tell myself, the ring was stronger. Symbolically, she tried on the ring possibly to undermine your relationship. But the ring won. It didn’t break, the diamond didn’t crack, it was unaffected by her attempt. Your relationship is as strong as ever - she was defeated. It’s still yours. The ring and what it symbolises endures and your relationship is stronger than her.

Good grief, that sounds like a bad fairy tale that Disney would turn into a film.
I really hope this is sarcasm.

This is absolute nonsense. Many good people have terrible parents. You can’t say ‘well he’s okay so his mum must be too’

I would do the cleansing things suggested.

But, I would also tell myself, the ring was stronger. Symbolically, she tried on the ring possibly to undermine your relationship. But the ring won. It didn’t break, the diamond didn’t crack, it was unaffected by her attempt. Your relationship is as strong as ever - she was defeated. It’s still yours. The ring and what it symbolises endures and your relationship is stronger than her.

Also, for things where I can’t wear a ring (like gardening), I like putting it on a necklace chain and wearing it that way.

I don’t remember anything like ‘permission’ being given — that makes it sound terribly formal and official. People were just handing it around and putting it on and saying ‘Nice stone’ and ‘It makes mine look very old-school!’ and ‘I can’t get it past my knuckle, I have such sausage fingers!’

Remind yourself that this awful woman birthed and brought up the man you love so she can't be all bad.

Well, she didn’t wrestle it off the OP’s finger or anything! If the OP had taken it off, put it down and gone off somewhere to garden, it doesn’t sound rude or invasive to idly pick up a ring and try it on while it was lying there.

She gave then permission though...

Agree.

Usually with the permission of the owner. This wasn't.

I think trying on other people’s rings is perfectly normal. I remember when the departmental secretary at a previous workplace got engaged women from other offices dropping by to congratulate her, and several were trying on her ring.

MIL didn't try it on BEFORE.

I think it is weird to try on someone else's ring without asking, but I think you might be complicating your own life with this karma thing, turning it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

And, I'm saying this gently, not critically, so please take it that way, surely you pick and choose in which circumstances you apply this superstition/feeling? To be slightly graphic, possibly your fiancé's penis was tried on by others before you? Do you consider that tainted? Or shrug it off because it has no real import to your life? Can you do the same here?

All beliefs in gods, spirits, karma, auras etc etc can be mocked for being ridiculous. There's nothing special about them that means everyone should respect such primitive nonsense.

It's entirely possible to have no respect for religions or spirituality without seeking to disrespect the people themselves. For example, I wouldn't go onto the Christianity board here and start spouting atheism without being invited. I wouldn't serve pork to Jews or Muslims or insist that someone superstitious should walk under a ladder. However, if they feel at liberty to tell me that Jesus' mother was a virgin or Noah's Ark saved 2 of every species or that angels exist, then I feel at liberty to say that they are just myths created by ignorant humans trying to make sense of what they didn't understand.

If you want the freedom to tell people your beliefs then everyone else has the freedom to tell you what they think of them.

Do you want to address or decrease this? Or are you prepared to live with this intrusive superstition
If you want to address it, CBT is a good start point

@Onering

Personally even if I liked someone's engagement/wedding ring I would never think to put it on my own finger! But maybes that's just me...

Exactly that!
Can you not see that you have a different perspective on things to your MIL and millions of other people in the world?

You talk about negative energies associating with your ring but lots of posters have disagreed with you about that. That doesn’t make you right and everyone else wrong. It simply means that we’re all different and each one of us has developed our own sense of values so each of us is ‘right’ in our own little world. In order to get along with people you have to respect their values and beliefs even if they’re different to yours.

You really need to step back and stop viewing your MIL as the enemy here otherwise you’re in for a very rough ride because everyone else will look at this and see the problem being you being negative, unkind and judgmental. Your MIL said nice things about the ring. Stop looking to be the victim in your dealings with her.

If you genuinely believe in things like natural energies and karma, you’d be trying much harder to get along with her…