MIL trying on my engagement ring

Have you told your DP about the ring being tainted and how has he reacted to the fact that his mum is such a force of evil that her filthy powers have contaminated the ring?

I wonder how he'll react to that news!

You are ridiculous. What do you want people to say? Yes absolutely you should now melt the ring down in a volcano like in lotr and have your fiance buy you another one immediately

Then sage or palo santo it to cleanse the energy.

If you believe in bad energy or vibes you have to have a solution to how you combat that ?

you don’t accept bad karma, you creat good karma.

it’s not tainted btw. But if you feel she has that sort of vibes she would be bringing her negative energy into your home not just your ring.

I suggest you get a big bag of palo santo

Well it’s a ring your son gave to you . Freud says sons are mothers ideal man that they can never have, so I think trying your engagement ring is loaded with metaphors and that’s probably why you feel it’s tainted.

I guess maybe you could get your fiancé to propose and put it on your finger again. You could even be have a cleansing ceremony before!

these things get under our skin so I do understand

How are you going to feel if you have DC and she wants to hold them?

I don’t think it’s wrong to say it’s tainted - maybe it’s the word that people don’t understand but I understand the process - it’s like an unsafe person has invaded something of yours

I also have a tricky relationship with my mil, made worse by the fact she lives in another country so when we see her we are always all under the same roof for a few days or weeks.
I like my personal space and for guests to behave as guests, where she feels she is entitled to make my home hers while she is here.
She does things like this and it's irritating but I have to take a step back and look objectively.
In this case I'd be thinking that her making a fuss over how lovely your ring is (even if in a slightly odd way!) Could have been her trying to show you both that she's on board with your engagement.
If you marry him, you're stuck with her so my advice (15 years in) is to try and view her actions as the most well intentioned you can imagine. Not for her sake, but for yours x

Btw on it being tainted - yes I can understand that. But detach it from the item. Whenever you look at that item, it can bring up the feelings/memories associated with your MIL and how she acts towards you. But the feelings are in you, not the item. When you’ve properly worked through the feelings inside you and articulated them to MIL, the item won’t bring them to mind again.

That's your choice to interpret the action of your mil however you want.
You can just as easily choose to see she simply liked the ring rather than attaching a judgement of overstepping.

I'd try and rethink that position if I were you. It's going to create endless drama and unhappiness.

I always try the if your best friend did this would you find it annoying. If the answer is yes then it’s a bit off but if you wouldn’t mind then the relationship is affecting the outcome

In line with your beliefs are you able to perform an energy clearing ritual? Place the ring in some soil or better still a pot plant for energy cleansing? There's a full moon Monday night, you could use that for cleansing. Smoke, salt, running water also help.

Your intention is also powerful so hold your ring and charge it with your intention to restore it back to you.

You might not be able to control your initial feelings but you are able to reframe and control your subsequent thoughts.

Also this, from personal experience relationships with MILs get worse with marriage and children. You’re in for a rough ride if you can’t get to the bottom of this now!

I'm not sure why you have such strong feelings about an inanimate object being touched, but wonder if you can use your woo side to fix the issue. Could you waft some incense over it? Wrap it in blue silk and bury it for a night?

More importantly, why are you getting engaged if your relationship is rocky? Marriage won't fix that, it'll just leave you both poorer. Work on how to fix your relationship or split up, don't marry someone when there are already problems.

Edited to add - like others, I wouldn't like it especially without being asked, but would shrug it off very quickly.

I believe in karma/bad energy too (I think most people do, we just call it by different names! Feelings, consequences etc).

You can’t choose not to feel what you feel (that would be head over heart and isn’t real). But you can choose to allow how you feel in your body and work with it. You’re angry about your MIL overstepping, you’ve every right to be. How are you going to honour your anger and process that energy?

I’d have a calm chat with MIL as soon as these kinds of things happen - explain she’s overstepping (this is not an objective thing - it’s all about how you feel it’s right for her to act and not act around you) and assert yourself by telling her what you want in future. Tell her you don’t want her to touch your personal things without asking.

Ok so listen to what people are saying…me included…kindly YABU and OTT. I’m

YANBU, that would piss me off.
She hasn’t tainted your ring, don’t let your mind tell you that.
If you have a strained relationship, it may have been something she’s done on purpose so rise above it, don’t give her the satisfaction. Your fiancé chose that for you, he put way more love and energy into it than your MIL could take away.

If you already feel like this about your future MIL I think you are likely to have more serious battles ahead than her trying on your ring without permission.

How old are you, OP? Sorry, but life is full of enough real bullshit to add all this fake bullshit on top. I’d dispel all this karma/energy nonsense, and start focusing on the tangible things in life. Insisting that an object is ‘tainted’ with negative energy is so tiring.

Stick to the real issue and make steps to solve it – you don’t like your MIL. Why? Start there.

Run it through the dishwasher and it will take care the bad karma away.