To veto a double-barrelled first name

I have a working class background but had a middle class profession. I am snobby about names, I admit it! Each time I was asked for ideas on my grandchildren's names I'd say I really didn't have any preferences as long as it sounded good when preceded by Doctor or Professor!

Eleanor Suzanne is actually quite pretty, imho. Cambridge would be undoubtedly impressed.

I can see Eleanor Suzanne on the Benches of the Old Bailey, banging the gavel.

Ivy-Leigh, Macie-May, Kiki-Blu, Ella-Rae. These are a few of MANY at my dc’s school (regrettably I live in Towie-land with every wannabe z lister/Instagram influencer. Honestly, you may as well call your kid Trailer-Trash.

There won't be many Ellie Sues at Cambridge because it's not a popular name. If you're in the UK, how many Ellie Sues do you actually know anywhere?

(not that this is the actual name)

If it’s helpful, in my (huge corporate) company HR anonymises the CVs and hiring managers do not see any names before choosing who to interview. Don’t know if it’s the same at Cambridge 😅

Personally I do think double first names sound silly, but I don’t have any classist issues and would not discriminate someone based on their parent’s choice of names.

Hmm, while I agree about the double barrelled name thing myself, and I doubt there are many Ellie-Sues at Cambridge, I accept I am woefully judgemental, so I’ll stay out of the actual name discussion itself. I do think it’s important both parents have an equal say. A name is such an important decision, you both need to be on board with it. You need to come up with a compromise that works for you both. This means she needs to move an inch and so do you.

I think this has got more complicated than it needs to be. The baby has two parents and her name should be one that both her parents like. You’ll be saying it 50 million times a day.

You don’t LIKE Ellie-Sue as a first name and that should be enough. Whether that’s because you think it’s a bit tacky or because a dog that bit you had that name or it’s the name of your ex or just no reason other than not liking it. You’ve already compromised on her surname.

Back to the drawing board.

Ellie Sue is a bit of a mouthful so I imagine she will end up being called one or t'other in everyday use - at least by other people.

There were a fair few Mari-Clares, Clare Frances', Mary Frances' ('Miff' for short!) when I was growing up. And every second boy was called John Paul (I was raised Catholic, born the year of the three popes!). Didn't particularly think of any of them as 'common' or 'tacky'.

Some double barrelled named I DO think of as a bit tacky and lacking in imagination (the ubiquitous use of 'Mae/May' after everything, for example. But there's nothing inherently wrong with any of them and I very much doubt the Cambridge admissions officers are going to be rejecting your child's application based on them having a double barrelled forename. I always stick my two forenames on official documents and no-one in theory has any idea whether I'm double-barrelling them or not (I don't).

Dsd1 has a hyphenated name, and was always called by both until about mid-teens when her friends came up with a nickname and she uses that a lot. A girl in my dd's year also always called by both names.
I don't see the point in hyphenating unless you are going to use both names, otherwise it's no different than first name middle name.

I was going to say the same! DDs first and middle names could be double barrelled but aren't. Mil still double barrels them. You could have them as separate names on paper only? So your wife and who ever else can call her "Ellie-Sue" but her birth certificate will say "Ellie Sue"

Great post, OP. I agree that mothers (in hetero situations) and birth mothers (in same sex partnerships) have agency on the question of breast v bottle.

And it is sadly true that sometimes partners prefer to shirk responsibility, especially for the boring and stressful bits. But when partners want to be enthusiastic, involved parents I like to see that encouraged.

Your unborn child is going to Cambridge?

I know someone who double barrelled all her children's first name in line with their fathers no-one uses it they all just use the first name so Peggy-sue would just be Peggy

Read this a couple of times, what do you mean by "So if you only provided the egg, then you're essentially in the same boat as dad's. If you didn't even provide that..." ?

Edit: ignore me, didn't read the op properly

Former Russell Group admissions tutor here. I can assure you that names are the last thing anyone at Cambridge cares about.

Elitism is rampant but among staff it is strictly of the intellectual variety

I don’t actually think that in real life people do judge on names like this. I work with a young woman with a double-barrelled first name and I have never assumed she’s tacky or common or anything like that - she’s a colleague same as all the others.

But your real issue is your wife thinking she getting more say. Nope. Bit of a red flag there.

I agree with this, and don’t agree with posters who say it’s just a MN thing. It’s not. It shouldn’t be the case but unfortunately it is that names do have associations. Kayden v Barnaby. Ellie-Mae v Rosalind.
Ultimately, OP, you and your DW have to choose a name that you both love. Neither of my DC’s have the two names that I love the most as my DH didn’t like them. I was sad at the time but I’m over it now.

I wonder if people who agree that these names sound poor and that's off putting to things like admissions offices, readily admit that "foreign" and particularly "black" sounding names have a similar outcome in these aspects of life and you could be rejected just because it's obvious you are foreign and/or black.

I don't get the hate for hyphenated names: my family tree is full of Mary-Anne's. My school had plenty of: Sarah-Jane's, Emma-Janes, Sally-Anns, etc.

What I couldn't stick would be two diminutives strung together. Eleanor Susan is a fine name. Ellie-Sue is not.

In an ideal world double barrelled first names wouldn't be judged, but we don't live in an ideal world. Unfortunately they are widely considered either old-fashioned (my mum born in the early 50s has one and NEVER uses it- she just uses the first of the two names) or frankly lacking in class. I'm not saying it's right but I agree with you that the name will have negative associations and hold her back, especially in business, elite unis, certain social circles, and frankly any environment that you need to be able to manoeuvre in to improve your lot financially and socially. Names matter.

I personally agree with you. I think 2 first names without a hyphen is a pain to explain all the time and I'm not fond of using hyphens in first names.

However more importantly I think everyone should be able to veto names they don't like.