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Original poster

Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
LondonFox · 11/05/2025 14:49

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 10:40

We were on the phone and I had to take a phone call and I told him I would call him right back. He told me not to hang up. I did and ended up calling him back told him that my mom was just calling to ask me if I wanted something to eat… he then replied saying “couldn’t you have just texted her that” …. At that point I hung up on him, I found that very disrespectful.

Red flag for any relationship is you complaining to strangers online about a bloke you met 4 weeks ago.
If you don't like him just walk away.
Also, stop begging strangers for money ffs

Gymnopedie · 11/05/2025 14:25

The red flag here is that he’s a romance scammer and is playing the long game.

I'm not sure I buy into the scammer idea. The OP started this by asking for money. If he was sending it out of the blue certainly. But the OP has set the tone for this. You can't tell from a written message that someone is joking, how was he to know?

OP I think you should end this. And when you meet someone else online don't play childish games with them.

Hyperbowl · 11/05/2025 13:22

You sound as though you need to put some serious work into boundaries. Not only from other people but for yourself as well.

You both sound exceptionally immature and not remotely in the right place to be having a mature relationship. He is clearly insecure and controlling and you don’t seem to see that begging for money from a stranger is grabby, entitled and poor mannered. It’s not a joke to financially take advantage of people. Your behaviour is just completely inappropriate as is his.

TwistedWonder · 11/05/2025 13:13

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

You’re on a UK website - cash app isn’t a thing here.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 11/05/2025 13:13

PunxsutawneyPhilsShadow · 11/05/2025 08:56

This is so strange, you're both red flagging one another.

This in spades.

You are the OG Rdd Flag.
This would never happen to me as I dont go round shit testing people and begging for things.

TwistedWonder · 11/05/2025 13:12

Huge red flags here and not from him.

Stop dressing you fleecing a stranger’s ‘joking’ - you’re the scammer

Whooowhooohoo · 11/05/2025 13:11

You asked HIM for money first.

was he supposed to say NO?

You
put him in an awkward situation, he did what he thought YOU wanted. Now you are accusing him of misbehavior.

scotstars · 11/05/2025 13:10

Your 'jokes' are the red flag. Hope he sees sense before you fleece him

brettsalanger · 11/05/2025 13:10

You’re the red flag. You are taking advantage.

unless it’s some strange pay pig situation 😂🫣

justasking111 · 11/05/2025 13:09

He needs your name, address, to set up credit cards, loans etc. in your name. 🙄

PonyPatter44 · 11/05/2025 12:59

I believe there is a word for women who trade sexual behaviour for money. You've probably heard it before. Let's just say, well done love, you've found yourself a paypig. Let's just hope the whole situation doesn't backfire on you.

Blackdow · 11/05/2025 12:55

You’re the red flag. The guy needs to run a mile.

commonsense61 · 11/05/2025 12:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

bridgetreilly · 11/05/2025 12:50

If he was able to refuse to take it back, you could and should have refused to accept it in the first place. If it was a joke, it wasn’t funny.

Huhuhuhu39272 · 11/05/2025 12:49

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:56

He also has asked me multiple times while on the phone with him, who I was texting ? Apparently he can he hear my nails typing ??

Red flag

Keep this one at arms length

Huhuhuhu39272 · 11/05/2025 12:46

Some men love this. If it makes him happy to buy you things, what’s the problem?

Refreshing to hear of a man who knows how to treat a love interest tbh. Rare on here

Stripeyanddotty · 11/05/2025 12:41

@Wonderberry
She didn’t send him her bank details.

333FionaG · 11/05/2025 12:41

The red flag here is that he’s a romance scammer and is playing the long game.He’s sending you small amounts of money to soften you up, to ensure you think he’s a kind and generous man. Further down the line, he’ll be the one asking for money, probably a sick relative with no medical insurance, or a family member stranded somewhere overseas with no money to get out.

Be wary. You don’t know him.

Wonderberry · 11/05/2025 12:31

It's surely not a joke when you send him your bank details?!

Shadowsunray · 11/05/2025 12:29

You asking for money is a red flag.

ForestFox44 · 11/05/2025 12:25

You "joked" about it then "joked" you needed more... oooookay. I don't think he's the red flag...

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 11/05/2025 12:24

Lol, you've got an answer for everything OP 🤣

Init4thecatz · 11/05/2025 12:23

londongirl12 · 11/05/2025 10:51

So your opening post was about money, then there’s all these extra things that scream red flag. By asking him for money you’re playing this weird game with him. Just stop talking to him for goodness sake.

Show quote history

Lol, is that on your list of things that are red flags?

'I hung up on him to say chicken, and he pointed out that that might have been easier to say in a txt'... but I considered that disrespectful.

That's a subterranean level of low for the red flag bar.

IttttttssssME · 11/05/2025 12:21

Why would you ask home for coffee money? Why are you “joking”
You sound immature

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 11/05/2025 12:14

The only person I would send money to is my husband.
I certainly wouldn't send money to a bloke I'd never met.