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Original poster

Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
Someone2025 · 12/05/2025 21:06

PoopingAllTheWay · 12/05/2025 20:55

YOU gave him your cashapp details
Why do that?

You want his money , he wants to control you
WIN WIN 😤🤯

Agree, you don’t get something for nothing

Someone2025 · 12/05/2025 21:04

Butchyrestingface · 12/05/2025 20:44

Probably suffered a head injury.

Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy could make someone vulnerable to total chancers.

Show quote history

Total CF chancers like the OP, but she has shown him what she is like so I’m sure he is probably trying to use her in the same way she tried to use him…..men aren’t stupid they know a certain type of woman when they see one and she has shown him who she is

ZorbaTheHoarder · 12/05/2025 21:02

MounjaroMounjaro · 12/05/2025 20:57

Anyone else doing a chinny reckon?

Yes, l think you are right - is the guy's name Jimmy Hill, by any chance?

Stringofpearlies · 12/05/2025 21:01

40andlovelife · 11/05/2025 08:59

There a show on Netflix called love rats. It’s about how con artists manage to gain confidence of their victims. Appearing generous can be a tactic. If he starts to ask you for money further down the line, be careful.

Or he might just be very generous.

100% scammers will do you a favor / lend you money to earn your trust in the beginning, then they'll suddenly need money for some urgent reason.

SnoopDougyDoug · 12/05/2025 20:59

Zucker · 12/05/2025 19:32

I'm guessing you're both young americans? This seems to be a thing from what I've seen on social media.

Get your bag gurl, get that man to pay if he want's to spend time with you. Turning up their noses if the man doesn't spend enough for a dinner date.....and on and on and on.

I don't think it's a thing on this side of the pond.

Right? My BIL dated an American for a short time, she had come out of a relationship with a man who paid her rent and gave her an allowance, because he didn't want 'his woman' to work. I don't think that approach is really a thing over here. Needless to say her and BIL didn't last long...

Lotsofsnacks · 12/05/2025 20:58

I can’t work out who’s the most clueless in this scenario! Honestly OP, I won’t patronise you and say you’re naive cause you are young, but come on! You must be that desperate for a man, if you are carrying talking to a man like this!!

Hes never met you in the flesh and already controlling, just no!! He won’t give you casual, helpful info about the state you’re moving to, on the phone, until u give him your exact apartment location?!! This is too much. and telling you not up hang up, and accusingly asking who else u are texting (when you weren’t).

Do not cave and tell him your current address, or new address. Block and delete or it’s going to go badly

MounjaroMounjaro · 12/05/2025 20:57

Anyone else doing a chinny reckon?

TipsyRaven247 · 12/05/2025 20:56

WTF? You asked him for money, did you not? YABU for doing stupid jokes in the middle of this wretched cost of living crisis. He must have thought you were struggling financially.
How do you joke about stuff like this ?

PoopingAllTheWay · 12/05/2025 20:55

YOU gave him your cashapp details
Why do that?

You want his money , he wants to control you
WIN WIN 😤🤯

Undertherainbow00 · 12/05/2025 20:55

DrummingMousWife · 11/05/2025 08:58

How does he have your bank details ? I wouldn’t give any bank information to a relative stranger.

Edited

This!

Dweetfidilove · 12/05/2025 20:54

I think it's a red flag, but you're also out of order or desperately seeking trouble.
Men will find the lowest entry point to what they want, and he may have decided yours is money, so he'll keep sending it until he's 'had his way with you'.

BoldAmberDuck · 12/05/2025 20:53

Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

Show quote history

Do u have proof of that? Sorry it sounds suspicious

Butchyrestingface · 12/05/2025 20:44

Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

Show quote history

Probably suffered a head injury.

Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy could make someone vulnerable to total chancers.

IsItSummerSoon · 12/05/2025 20:41

I‘M late to the party so I hope you’ve already had 11 pages of people telling you what a piece of shit you are.

H0210zero · 12/05/2025 20:40

100% a red flag he needs to be concerned. Clearly you think it's hilarious to take advantage of him. Do him a favour and find some other mug who will stand up to you. Your out of order it's controlling and abusive behaviour.

LoveFridaynight · 12/05/2025 20:35

You sound as bad as each other tbh. I find it a bit strange that you posted about asking him for money and when everyone said you were the problem you suddenly came up with a load of reasons why he was the red flag. If you were worried about all those things why didn't you say so in your first post?
Anyway doesn't sound like a good relationship either way. Just block and move on.

CalleOcho · 12/05/2025 20:32

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:50

We’ve only talked for 4 weeks … He shouldn’t want to know my exact apartment…

Show quote history

Yeah and you shouldn’t be asking him for money and then more money, you crank!

Original poster
Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

Isabellivi · 12/05/2025 18:33

No it’s a red flag that you are asking a man for money you have never met. Send the money back if it’s a “joke”. It’s not a joke.

I am guessing he is a lot older and/or not attractive. This is only a red flag for a guy who is lonely and wants to keep your interest. Its also very likely he comes from another culture where this shameless behavior is expected from women (Asia, Russia and former UsSR this normal to get the many to pay for as much as they can, but in my culture it’s extremely low class)

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

OP posts:
3peassuit · 12/05/2025 20:29

Huge red flag. You’re the one waving it by the way.

Someone2025 · 12/05/2025 20:23

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

Agree, she is a CF, who was chancing her arm

Mrsgreen100 · 12/05/2025 20:23

If you where joking, how did he get your payment details
this has the making of one of those horrible American murder docs
behave yourself, stop messing with strangers
you are just asking for trouble

SalfordQuays · 12/05/2025 20:12

There’s nothing mysterious about this OK. It’s a very common interaction between some men and some women. The man gives the woman money, and in return the woman has sex with him. It’s called prostitution. Financially you could do well out of it, but physically and emotionally it’s not a good idea.

Commonsense22 · 12/05/2025 20:06

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

Definitely. Why on earth are you joking about that?

Retiredfromearlyyears · 12/05/2025 20:04

It's a red flag that you keep mentioning money! 😆

Debsnotts · 12/05/2025 20:04

Omg !!! Are you serious why are you asking for money and why does he have your bank details anyway when you’ve never met. ?