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Original poster

Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
DirtyBird · 13/05/2025 02:10

i don’t think you were joking. I have two friends that do this with the person they are dating. They will “jokingly” ask for something or mention how badly they want something but they aren’t really joking. It’s very annoying.

Pepsiewomen · 13/05/2025 01:18

Maybe when he comes to visit you he might be expecting more than a cup of coffee if you get my meaning

Pepsiewomen · 13/05/2025 01:16

Maybe when he comes to visit you he might be expecting something more than a cup of coffee if you get my meaning

Gymnopedie · 13/05/2025 00:40

By asking him for money you told him you are a woman who can be bought. You can't complain if that's how he's now treating you.

Trishyb10 · 12/05/2025 23:34

What kind of a person are you to take money off someone. Sick,sick,sick.

cheesepielover · 12/05/2025 23:21

You have basically answered your own question in this thread. You’ve made countless other reasons of weird behaviour he’s done that you are obviously not comfortable in.

A complete waste of time to even entertain a man who’s been out of a long term relationship for 2 months you will be a rebound. Don’t waste your time. Spend your time maturing in your own self to spot these red flags! Having to end a call because he was disrespectful so early on is never going to get better it’ll only get worse.

Ownedbykitties · 12/05/2025 23:05

You have given him your details! WTAF are you on about? Asking for money multiple times as a joke? You are very strange. Hope he sees through soon.

Ownedbykitties · 12/05/2025 23:02

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

Agreed!

TwistedWonder · 12/05/2025 22:51

Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

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So why does he no longer play? That’s very young to retire.

llizzie · 12/05/2025 22:46

Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

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''Beauty fades, dull is forever''

llizzie · 12/05/2025 22:43

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

Why don't you make a search for him? Put his name in google and see what comes up.

You should be able to find out how he lives, where he works, his finances. If you cannot, ask a PI agency to do it for you.

llizzie · 12/05/2025 22:41

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

Perhaps an orange flag. He may be sending you money to make you think he is wealthy. It could be the opposite. For him it could be an 'investment' or 'reeling you in'.

If he is, most likely he will be borrowing from you in a couple of months.

Avoid him.

Mayana1 · 12/05/2025 22:30

Stripeyanddotty · 11/05/2025 09:12

I send and receive money on Revolut. No bank details needed.

Funny how people don't know those kind of services exist 😂 or WU, Ria...

Mayana1 · 12/05/2025 22:29

S0j0urn4r · 11/05/2025 09:09

How could he send money unless you gave him your bank details? Why would you do that? Send the money back.

Western Union, Ria... and plenty others where no bank details are needed.

AveryC · 12/05/2025 22:27

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

You are the red flag 😂
Honestly, I don’t get what’s so funny. You asked for the money back, so clearly you care about it — but when someone gives it back without thinking twice, suddenly they’re the one with the issue and taking things too seriously? That’s just weird, seriously.

Mayana1 · 12/05/2025 22:26

nomas · 11/05/2025 08:59

Yep, sounds like a gold digger. Why give bank details to someone you’ve never even met?

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Maybe it was through WU or other financial service where there is no bank details needed.

Mummydrama · 12/05/2025 22:05

How long have you been talking for? Only weird thing is you asking but in some cultures it's normal,I had a long distance relationship like that he would always send money, I never asked for it. Then as time went by he would send and help out his family members and each time he would add me to it, said he can't send his siblings and not me. He was genuine but there could be some that isn't out there

MounjaroMounjaro · 12/05/2025 21:50

ZorbaTheHoarder · 12/05/2025 21:02

Yes, l think you are right - is the guy's name Jimmy Hill, by any chance?

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Yes!

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/05/2025 21:37

Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

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When I was growing up the term was tire biter. Most people say gold digger. You're a red flag, darling. 🚩

Goodgrashus · 12/05/2025 21:35

Sounds like this man is working a long con

Haver74 · 12/05/2025 21:29

Go and do your homework.

KTMeetsTheRsUptown · 12/05/2025 21:22

He sounds proper weird and creepy!
No one gives you something for nothing when they aren't family or good friends, and have never met you. I'm sure he's going to want "something" for the money he's given you. Break contact with him. I seriously think you will end up regretting it. Dont give him your new address or meet him...And who cares if he's an attractive 28 year old pro footballer, or told you that anyway 🙄

PinkyFlamingo · 12/05/2025 21:12

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:57

How ?

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Because it's not normal to ask a stranger for money "Jokes" or not. 🙄

Pres11 · 12/05/2025 21:09

In your joke asking for money, I take it you added your genuine bank details then?!

Weefox · 12/05/2025 21:06

Where's your pride? You're using this guy - and giving women a very bad name.

Everything about you post is seriously weird and abnormal. Red flag flying high

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