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Original poster

Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
Starlight1984 · 13/05/2025 09:08

Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

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He used to play professional football

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it's highly unlikely a gorgeous 20-something footballer has now resorted to sending random women money on the internet.

SometimesIamaloaf · 13/05/2025 09:05

If you’re going to put a price/value on yourself I suggest that the cost of a cup of coffee or a watch probably doesn’t convey that you value yourself very highly.

Butchyrestingface · 13/05/2025 08:55

Starlight1984 · 13/05/2025 08:53

I thought you said he was 24?

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She’s put years on him in a few short weeks.

Starlight1984 · 13/05/2025 08:53

Kenyaparks · 12/05/2025 20:30

He’s 28 and very attractive. He used to play professional football

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I thought you said he was 24?

Mellowbear · 13/05/2025 08:33

You are the red flag. Total user.

FortyElephants · 13/05/2025 08:24

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

Assume you're in the states - your banking system is backward which is why you have to use cash apps instead of secure online banking - just saying

Ownedbykitties · 13/05/2025 08:18

Ilovecleaning · 13/05/2025 05:10

We give dozens of people our bank details all the time. He can’t take money from her.

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I know!!! She said she was joking when asking him for money but then said he sent it to her. Though later says that it was sent through a money app. Nonetheless she asked, he sent, she said she was joking but did the same twice more. 🤷‍♀️

Sennelier1 · 13/05/2025 08:15

Rather a parade of waving red flags.

Bestfootforward11 · 13/05/2025 08:09

Please be careful. You need to speak to someone about this in real life. You say he is an attractive 28 year old footballer and clearly have hope of where this might go. Whether this is or isn’t who he is, you don’t know this man. And the asking and accepting of money is not a healthy dynamic when you barely know someone. You say you have since spoken but none of the potential dangers here evaporate because of that. Someone close to you needs to know what you are doing.

TwistedWonder · 13/05/2025 07:51

BoldAmberDuck · 13/05/2025 06:54

Maybe he never did? It all seems a rather contrived story

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That’s why I’m asking - the whole thing seems like a load of nonsense
They're catfishing each other

Sally20099 · 13/05/2025 07:42

You’re the red flag OP - who asks for money as a “joke”.

Lurker85 · 13/05/2025 07:34

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

I Don’t think they did bank transfers in the 70’s. 🤣

Itsallaboutme2021 · 13/05/2025 07:22

It’s a red flag that you keep ‘jokingly’ asking him to buy you things. Such strange behaviour.

SimplyAmy1 · 13/05/2025 07:17

I don’t think this post or the comments are gonna go the way you’d hoped OP and unfortunately I agree that you seem to be the red flag. Why would you ask everyone if he seems like a red flag, you asked him for the money and have clearly sent him your details too….

Mayana1 · 13/05/2025 07:04

Did you actually see him on video, so he was talking to you? Cause was watching different fraud videos, like 'Catfish'. I know in that case they are asking for money, not giving it, but even when a person was real, it was like 'Tindler Swindler', men who was taking money from their girllfriends, promising marriage and disappear after, but giving them everything first.
Anyway, hope yours is all real (just check for obvious signs) and leave the money out, but of course continue when you move to his state. As well promising you a trip is no guarantee... Update us next month if he really came.

BoldAmberDuck · 13/05/2025 06:54

TwistedWonder · 12/05/2025 22:51

So why does he no longer play? That’s very young to retire.

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Maybe he never did? It all seems a rather contrived story

user1476277375 · 13/05/2025 06:54

Errr.... i think you are the red flag??

BoldAmberDuck · 13/05/2025 06:51

Zucker · 12/05/2025 19:32

I'm guessing you're both young americans? This seems to be a thing from what I've seen on social media.

Get your bag gurl, get that man to pay if he want's to spend time with you. Turning up their noses if the man doesn't spend enough for a dinner date.....and on and on and on.

I don't think it's a thing on this side of the pond.

How awful. Hope it’s not a trend that starts over here

Towwanthustice · 13/05/2025 06:16

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

That's my thought too

Inexpertjuggler · 13/05/2025 06:01

S0j0urn4r · 11/05/2025 09:09

How could he send money unless you gave him your bank details? Why would you do that? Send the money back.

The op mentions ‘ state’ . If they are from the U.S., they don’t use bank to bank transfers, they use Venmo, a third party, and your bank details aren’t disclosed to the other money party.

Ilovecleaning · 13/05/2025 05:13

i have just read all OP’s posts. Bloody weird situation. I’m going to find another thread on cooking economy meals or something… 🤣

Ilovecleaning · 13/05/2025 05:10

Ownedbykitties · 12/05/2025 23:05

You have given him your details! WTAF are you on about? Asking for money multiple times as a joke? You are very strange. Hope he sees through soon.

We give dozens of people our bank details all the time. He can’t take money from her.

Ilovecleaning · 13/05/2025 05:08

I shall echo what so many posters have said: your “joke” of asking for money is a red flag for him. It wouldn’t even occur to most people to make that so-called joke.

Ilovecleaning · 13/05/2025 05:04

nomas · 11/05/2025 08:59

Yep, sounds like a gold digger. Why give bank details to someone you’ve never even met?

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We give bank details (sort code and account number) to dozens of people. It’s passwords, PIN and memorable information that we don’t give.

Original poster
Kenyaparks · 13/05/2025 04:20

I had a discussion with him and told him that I apologize for asking him and how I don’t want him to think that I’m some gold digger. He said no why would you have to apologize I don’t think any of that.

We also had a talk about his previous relationship I told him that I didn’t want to be a rebound and how I’m not sure if he’s completely healed. He disagreed and told me people heal differently and how he’s not going to sit and dwell on things.

He also is trying to make a trip out here next month ???

OP posts: