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Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
DancingDucks · 11/05/2025 09:17

You're the red flag. Clearly your 'it's all jokes' banter needs some work. I'd advise him to steer clear.

Goldengirl123 · 11/05/2025 09:16

Why would you ask him for money?

Moonnstars · 11/05/2025 09:15

You both sound odd.
Why would you be asking him for money? You must have given him, a stranger, your bank details which is rather weird.
From your description he sounds vulnerable (which could be a reason for online dating) and feels the need to give you money to make you happy and keep chatting to him.

BobbyBiscuits · 11/05/2025 09:15

You asked him for money. Don't pretend it was a joke. Stop asking him for stuff. He could think your affections can be easily bought or that you're a gold-digger. Or maybe he's just a nice person and feels sorry for you. So don't ask him any more and refuse it if he offers.

Empress13 · 11/05/2025 09:14

You started it what did you expect he’s trying impress but it does smack of desperation tbh

TeenLifeMum · 11/05/2025 09:12

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

100% this - you are the red flag and he’s the sucker. Your “jokes” clearly weren’t taken that way.

Stripeyanddotty · 11/05/2025 09:12

I send and receive money on Revolut. No bank details needed.

Glohc · 11/05/2025 09:11

Jokingly asked him for money. Okay then. Hilarious. He’ll likely dump you.

LoveWine123 · 11/05/2025 09:11

Are you also sending him photos of your feet?

Sortalike · 11/05/2025 09:10

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

I agree. You are completely unreasonable and playing a very silly game. #paypig

S0j0urn4r · 11/05/2025 09:09

How could he send money unless you gave him your bank details? Why would you do that? Send the money back.

Schoolchoicesucks · 11/05/2025 09:08

This generation of people are so strange to me

OnArainyNight · 11/05/2025 09:06

The guy seems vulnerable. And I don’t believe you’re “joking”.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 11/05/2025 09:06

You were "only joking" so much that you gave him your bank details?

PunxsutawneyPhilsShadow · 11/05/2025 09:05

What does this even mean OP:

I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at?

itbemay1 · 11/05/2025 09:04

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

This!

PunxsutawneyPhilsShadow · 11/05/2025 09:03

It's entirely weird of you to ask him for money, and entirely weird of him to send it.

This isn't how proper relationships work IRL.

DragonBalls · 11/05/2025 09:00

Are you on Only Fans?

Allthegoodhorses · 11/05/2025 08:59

Strangest OP I’ve read in a long time. I can’t see what’s ‘jokey’ about asking and receiving money from someone you’ve never met.

40andlovelife · 11/05/2025 08:59

There a show on Netflix called love rats. It’s about how con artists manage to gain confidence of their victims. Appearing generous can be a tactic. If he starts to ask you for money further down the line, be careful.

Or he might just be very generous.

FiveShelties · 11/05/2025 08:59

Does he have your bank details?

Bfmamma · 11/05/2025 08:59

Send me money, here's my bank details

Is it a red flag he keeps sending me money?

nomas · 11/05/2025 08:59

babystarsandmoon · 11/05/2025 08:58

You happily gave him your bank details. Be very mindful that he may insist you pay him back in other ways.

Yep, sounds like a gold digger. Why give bank details to someone you’ve never even met?

DrummingMousWife · 11/05/2025 08:58

How does he have your bank details ? I wouldn’t give any bank information to a relative stranger.

GetMeOutOfHere20 · 11/05/2025 08:58

Why are you asking him for money? That’s weird leave him alone.

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